Mind of the Woman
by Adamant Eve aka anna-neko
Summary: How deep can Kenshin go into Kaoru's mind? The answer may surprise you!
1. Default Chapter

Author's Note: Poor Kenshin will be the victim of yet another one of my fics. This is almost pointless, but I hope it will stir a few hearts. Kenshin and Kaoru rule, and I do wish that their eventual marriage in the manga (Did I spoil that for anyone? Oops! Sorry!) had a bit more WAFF to it. 

As is my tradition, OOCiness will rule again. OOCiness is the spice of fanfiction life. 

Standard disclaimers apply. 

****

Mind of the Woman

Part I: Shallow

I peeked through the veil of my red hair to stare at Kamiya Kaoru, the woman I have sworn to protect to my dying day. 

I have known her for almost two years now, and yet the purity she exudes never ceases to amaze me. And her eyes…Kami-sama those eyes are so soulful that sometimes I could drown in them. Strange that in spite of what everyone says, that her sapphire pools reflect every nuance and emotion she has, I couldn't really read her all that well. 

True, I know when she is happy. I know when she is miserable, but the depths of her are still a mystery to me. She goes about life like she hadn't a care in the world, yet I could not believe that nothing bothered her. Even if she showed anxiety, it is not the kind of melancholy all the rest of us are so prone to take.

Had she been so sheltered in her earlier years that she could not comprehend the meaning of tragedy? If that is so, then I really am unworthy of her. Who am I to destroy that bliss? Who am I to tarnish her clear view of life? I could not take that away from her, ever. Never.

__

Face it rurouni, this one's too good for you.

I sighed, sipping the tea Misao had placed before me on the table.

"Himura, you're beginning to look like Aoshi-sama over there," Misao said to me in her usual cheerful drawl. Her long and black braided hair bounced and whipped at my face. "You're not going to start meditating on me, are you?"

Kaoru giggled and Aoshi gave a grunt of disapproval. 

__

Boy, that hair whipping could get annoying. I flashed a smile and put down my teacup. "Maa…can't a man be alone with his thoughts and not be accused of becoming 'Aoshi-sama'?" I asked playfully.

Aoshi's frown deepened and he tucked his arms more firmly across his chest. He said nothing, as was his wont and took everything in with his usual calculating detachment. 

__

Talk about mysteries of the universe…I thought with a shake of my head. 

"Shinomori-san, Okina-san expressly instructed me in his letter to keep you away from any more ponderous activities," Kaoru said with an easy smile. "Won't you humor a tired old man?"

__

His "pondering" saved your life, love, I surmised tenderly, wanting to reach out and brush a lock of hair that had tumbled to her forehead. Enishi almost succeeded in his revenge. If it weren't for Aoshi, all would have been lost.

Aoshi only gave a grunt of response while Misao rolled on the floor in laughter.

"Jiya? Tired old man?" Misao shrieked. "Oh, that's simply priceless!"

I chuckled and gave Kaoru an amused look.

Kaoru merely rolled her eyes around, not the least bit offended. "Okay, bad choice of words, but you know what I mean. Shinomori-san, you must relax. The Oniwabanshu's worried about you."

Aoshi was as immovable as ever.

I watched the scene before me in silence, my smile veiling my troubled thoughts. _Kaoru, you are young, so optimistic about life. It would be asking too much to make you understand the workings of a mind such as Aoshi's…such as mine. You still believe that you could move mountains, while I express endless gratitude if I can bend a bamboo stalk. You are full of life, while I am jaded. You have faith, while hope only pains me when I see it pass me by. I will never be worthy of you…ever. Never._

Part II: Meditation

I looked up from my laundry tub and saw Aoshi peering at me through his unreadable eyes. He was glaring at me, but I could not feel any of his old hate. All that had disappeared after our fight in Shishio's lair. Right now, he was shielding his emotions as impenetrably as before.

What he said next would be beyond my scope of foresight. "How can you stand this torment, Battousai?"

"Oro!" What a strange man indeed! Thank goodness I didn't have to live with him all the time. I don't think I can stand to put up with his odd moods. I have enough problems trying to understand Kaoru. "What torment do you speak of, Shinomori-san?" I asked politely.

He made a slight gesture with his hand, towards the house and dojo.

I looked over my shoulder, could not figure out what he meant and returned my gaze to him. "Ehh…I don't see anything, Shinomori-san. If you mean the house and dojo itself, I'll have you know that I love staying here."

Aoshi expressed irritation in the most restrained way: sniffing audibly. "I don't mean that, Battousai. Is it not tiring? Not all suffering involves the shedding of blood. Sometimes, it is bloodless pain that rips the soul."

"Umm…" What is he talking about?

Aoshi continued to babble. "The worse thing about it is, it spreads, like a contagious disease. It affects others, like a pebble thrown into the stream, waves rippling all around it to disturb the surface of the water. And then you realize that doing nothing only makes the pebble sink deeper under the water."

What in the world…? "Thank you, Confucius, for your inspiring words. Now what does it mean?"

He chuckled. He actually chuckled! Well, yes he sounded sarcastic, even disgusted, but a chuckle qualifies as a smile, doesn't it? Will wonders never cease? I think God has found his toy today.

"Somehow, I think you should start trying to understand the people who need understanding," Aoshi said, approaching me. "Come on. I think you need a knock on the head."

Well, that was simply surreal. Aoshi talking in casual speech. Being colloquial. I think the world is about to come to its proverbial end. This definitely means I should take his invitation.

Wiping my hands of the soapsuds and rinsing off from the rinse tub, I got up and pulled off my apron, drying my hands as I followed him.

I should have known Aoshi would have me meditating again. It was just like him to wrap a meditation session in the guise of discovering the answers to the riddles of life.

Ooh…cramping time.

I groaned and tried to relax my muscles to forestall the cramp. How in the world does Aoshi do this, hours at a time?

"You've refused to go beyond the physical plane, Battousai," Aoshi said to me with his eyes still closed. "That is why your leg is complaining."

I chuckled. "Or maybe, I'm just getting old."

"We're about the same age, Battousai," he inevitably said. "The spiritual knows no boundaries in time." 

"The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak, Shinomori-san." Right back at you. I wish he would go back to normal Japanese. Listening to him feels like reading a bunch of haiku. I don't think I'm stupid, it's just that Aoshi is so damn complicated. No wonder Misao acts crazy most of the time. If I had to listen to Aoshi like this day in and day out, I'd go insane myself.

"No, the spirit is not willing," Aoshi told me loftily, staying firmly in his lotus position. "How are you suppose to understand Kamiya-san if you refuse to listen to the cosmos?"

Ah. Now we get down to it. I didn't know Aoshi was the type to meddle in romances. There is life in planet Aoshi after all.

"I know what you're thinking," Aoshi said, his eyes finally opening to look at me. "You're thinking I should mind my own business."

I was about to protest when he raised a hand to quiet me.

"That is true. People should know when not to disturb the hand of fate," he continued. "But frankly, the tension you and Kamiya-san are exuding is disturbing _my_ perimeter of self-discovery. It's terrible the way you two carry on. How am I suppose to find my inner being when the both of you are causing such a racket?"

Oro…I didn't know it was that bad. 

"Work with me here, will you?" He said, closing his eyes again.

Ooo-kay. How am I supposed to be uncooperative after that?

Alright, I'll give this another shot. Might be worth my while. 

I got into position again, trying to search within myself. Trying to find the peace that has eluded me.

Kaoru's face came to my mind, quite clearly. Smiling, youthful, beautiful…

This isn't so bad.

Her tears…she has shed them for me. _Please don't cry love._

Her laughter…shining blue eyes, collapsing in mirth because Sanosuke managed to say something stupid again…

I began to laugh myself, quietly, so as not to disturb Aoshi.

Walking in on her bath…boy, was she furious.

I chuckled again.

Watching her make her hopeless dinner…think Kaoru…think Kaoru…cute kenjetsu instructor…Kaoru, you're soooo cute…

That's it! I can't do this! 

I laughed loudly, rolling on the shrine floor, clutching my stomach in uncontrollable heaps of guffaws. 

Aoshi was severely displeased. He glared at me. "If you can't take this seriously, I wish you would go."

Wiping tears from my eyes, I raised a placating hand, still burping out chuckles. "Maa…Maa…I'm going. I am very sorry for wasting your time, Shinomori-san. It's just that meditation isn't for me. Thank you for trying, though."

"Your loss," Aoshi said haughtily, going back to his meditation. 

I got to my feet, smothering my laughter. 

In the next moment, I lost my humor. My leg screamed bloody murder.

Cramp!

I checked the water in the furo for its temperature. Feels about right. Kaoru will like this bath in the chill of Autumn. 

I was already a little late in preparing it, but Aoshi kind of put me behind schedule.

If you ask me, this is the life. Profundity puts my mind in a jumble. I'd rather be washing clothes, cook, prepare her bath…they were all for her, anyway. If Aoshi finds that disturbing, well, he could just shove it up his you-know-what.

I turned and some folded clothes rolled from the side then straight into the tub. It fell into the water quite nicely.

Perfect. It's like me to screw up something as simple as preparing a bath.

I folded up my sleeve and reached into the water, moving my hand to find the delinquent cotton cloth.

The water splashed, wetting the front of my pants.

Great. Just great! I couldn't find it. I really ought to. If I leave it in, Kaoru might get a feel of it and think a rat had joined her in the water, which would thus scare the living daylights out of her. She hates rats.

Where the hell is it…

I caught the delinquent garment from beneath the water and pulled it out, causing water to spill a little to the floor. 

I looked at it and noted with a blush that it was Kaoru's underwear. 

The shoji door slid open.

I turned to look. "Yahiko, this is Kaoru-dono's…"

Oh those blue eyes I know so well. They were staring right back at me this very moment.

Panic button. Kaoru is standing in the frame of the door, wrapped only in a towel, looking at me in shock.

Like I said, I was late. I shouldn't have been here anymore, and what with the stuff that fell in the tub... 

Explain, dammit! 

"Er…Kaoru-dono…"

Her eyes widened and roved to _her_ delicate clothing which was clutched in my hand, then her gaze fell to the front of my wet hakama.

God! This looks absolutely awful!

"Kenshin…you…pervert…" She growled.

OH…MY…GOD! She thinks I…that I got… "N-No! It's not what you think!"

She shrieked to the high heavens.

I panicked, totally gone of my senses. I stood up suddenly, and just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, my leg cramped again.

I grit my teeth and tried to get my muscles to stop contracting. Hopping on one leg, the water beneath my feet just had to contribute to this miserable situation. I slipped. I screamed. And the world went blank.

Part III: Fate Plays

__

"Kenshin…Kenshin! Dearest…"

Tomoe?

"Yes dear, it's me."

Where are you?

"You won't be able to see me."

Well, that's just silly. I can hear you but I can't see you?

"That about sums it up. Anyway, the reason I'm here is because I'm angry with you."

What?!? I haven't spoken to you in a decade! What do you have to be…oh.

A subdued chuckle rose out of the limbo. "My dear, sweet idiot…I'm not angry at you because we haven't spoken for ten years. It's quite understandable, I'm dead."

I cringed. Did she have to bring that up?

"Now, now. You're not still sore about that, are you?"

Well duh! I killed you!

"You didn't do it on purpose, dear. Now please, just listen to me. The fact of the matter is, I'm angry because you haven't exactly gone and made yourself happy, ne?"

I don't deserve to be happy.

"Goodness! Wouldn't Kaoru just hit you over the head for saying that!"

Oro! You know about Kaoru?

"Yes dear. She's wonderful."

She is, isn't she? She has that smile, and she…hey! What am I…? I mean--

"Ease up, dear. It's fine. I want you to be happy with her."

But--

"Dear, be quiet. I've come to give you a gift."

You're angry with me and you want to give me a gift?

Another chuckle rose. "Yes, as a matter of fact. This gift…I just want you to know that you think too little of Kamiya Kaoru."

Too little? She is--

"I know. She's everything to you."

Tomoe!

"Hush, dear. I've experienced what that felt like. To have someone that encompasses your entire being. You, on the other hand, have never had that, until now. I don't want you to waste it." 

What are you saying?

"Quiet now. Let me give this to you, and…hold still. I always wanted to do this."

Do what, Tomoe?

"This." 

And from out the darkness came a blinding light, hurtling towards me in a bokken-like arc.

It slammed into me, right over the head.

"He's coming to!" I heard a voice ring from my darkness.

Must have been Yahiko, or that weasel ninja girl. Doesn't matter. My head is throbbing like a Japanese drum. Dream or no dream, Tomoe can pack a mean wallop.

I gave a groan of suffering. "Ouch…" 

Oh, I remembered what happened. Everything is just crystal clear. 

Kaoru found me in the bath where I wasn't supposed to be anymore. She saw me holding her underwear in my hand and I just had to have a strategically placed patch of water on my pants. Fate could be such a bitch I could cry, or laugh, or both. 

I must have hit my head on something, because it's just being peachy right now.

I opened my eyes and saw three faces hovering above me. There was Megumi, of course. With my present state, I wouldn't expect less. Then there was Yahiko, peering at me in curiosity. Finally, there was Kaoru, looking so cute with her worried expression.

"Oh Kenshin, say something! Tell me you're alright!" Came Kaoru's voice.

"I'm fine, Kaoru-dono," I said, delicately touching the lump on my head.

She frowned with an odd lilt to her face. "Whatever. You ought to be more careful about the things you do, Kenshin!"

Oro! "S-Sorry, Kaoru-dono. I just took a little longer to prepare the furo."

"Really, racoon-girl!" Megumi said reproachfully. "How can you scold him at a time like this?"

Kaoru blushed and turned away. "Damn pervert! And with my underwear too! Was he doing what I thought he was doing?"

"Oro!" I exclaimed, gingerly sitting up. "Kaoru-dono, I wasn't doing anything like that! I was just preparing your bath! Honest!"

She turned to stare at me, blinking. "I didn't say anything. Kenshin, I think you hit your head harder than we thought."

Misao giggled and Aoshi eyed me with a suspicious gleam.

What…what the hell…?

"Oh don't mind her, Ken-san," Megumi said in her usual flirtatious tone. "Let Megumi take care of you in ways you could only dream of. Ohohohoho!"

Those fox-ears could be just terrible sometimes.

"Grrrr! Fox-woman, how would you like it if I were all over rooster-head? I swear if you touch Kenshin, I will engage Sanosuke in a serious lip lock you and he will never forget!" Kaoru growled.

I turned to stare at Kaoru in disbelief. "H-How can you say that?" Kiss Sanosuke? Even if it was just for show…I'll never let it happen! I just won't! 

Kaoru looked at me in irritation. "Say what, Kenshin? Are you sure you'll be fine?"

"But you just--"

"Hellooo!" Yahiko chimed. "The rurouni has gone completely bananas."

Misao laughed. "Himura, I don't think you're quite ready to get up yet. Let me handle the kitchen tonight. You had a pretty hard fall."

"Great, the closest thing the rurouni's done to falling is hitting his head," Kaoru's voice rang out clearly. "Kenshin you idiot! When are you going to fall the way I want you to?"

I stared at Kaoru. Her lips hadn't moved, and her eyes were as expressionless as anything. Am I the only one hearing this? "Ummm…thank you, Misao-dono," I said uncertainly, keeping my eyes glued to Kaoru.

Kaoru turned away from me momentarily. "I might as well let her. I couldn't cook for shit and everyone knows it."

"Oro!" I exclaimed.

All eyes turned to me anxiously.

"Ooo-kay! That settles things," Yahiko said, giving me the freak-with-the-scar-on-his-cheek look.

Kaoru sighed and shook her head. "Kenshin, you're staying in bed. I'll bring you your dinner."

Her lips had moved this time. Everyone heard it and nodded their approval.

"Thank you, Kaoru-dono," I murmured, bowing my head.

That particular maneuver caused my eyes to swirl and I flopped back down on my pillow with a groan.

She sighed again and knelt beside me, pulling the covers of the futon to my neck. "Just relax, Kenshin. I'll stay right here until Misao gets dinner ready."

That's mighty sweet of her. I love it when she gets this way. So concerned for worthless little ole me.

The rest of the people turned to leave the room, walking out in pairs.

Kaoru stared at them briefly. "Kenshin, I love you and all, but I gotta give Aoshi the benefit of his ass. It's really quite to die for."

I frowned and looked up from my futon. "Excuse me?"

She averted her gaze at me, startled out of her reverie. "Hmm?"

"What did you just say?" I kind of demanded. 

Kaoru's eyebrows furrowed. "Nothing. Kenshin, you're hearing things. Close your eyes. You're straining your head."

I gave her a suspicious gape before snuggling into my sheets again. This is getting freakier by the moment. And for goodness sake, she thinks Aoshi's you-know-what is better than mine! When the hell did that happen?

Alright, calm down, Himura. This is just a figment of your imagination. Of course you're not hearing Kaoru's thoughts. That's impossible. Misao's right. It was a pretty hard fall. 

__

A gift…Tomoe and the dream. Had that been _real_? No, it can't be. 

I felt Kaoru's hand smoothing some hair from my face. "Kenshin, I just want to kiss that bump on your head, but of course, that would be totally 'raccoon-y' of me."

I cracked an eye open to see if she was doing anything that might resemble what she had said, or what I think she said. 

Nothing. She was just staring at me, a slight smile on her face.

__

A gift…

I suppressed a sigh of disappointment. Didn't she know? She can be as 'raccoon-y' with me as much as she wants.

Well, this is insane. Just plain insane. I got a hard knock. That's what I think.

I'll have dinner, sleep this off, and in the morning, everything will be back to normal.

A gift…feh! The idea.

To be continued…


	2. Part 4 and 5

Author's Note: Glad some of you liked that last one. The question kind of just popped into me the other day. You know, what if Kenshin could read into Kaoru's mind? Got my inspiration from that Studio 54 song "If You Could Read My Mind". I just wanted to break some of the cliches. Take note of the word "some". 

This is just part 4 and 5. Please stay with me.

I just read your reviews and wow, it does have some "What Women Want" undertones. Oh well, if it works, it works. Hmm, hope I don't go there too much. Honestly, I didn't intend for it to be a "What Women Want" thing. No problem though. Just hope I make it differently.

Well, here goes nothing.

On with the story.

****

Mind of the Woman

Part IV: The Gift

And a good morning to you too, Battousai.

I don't know why I bother greeting my alter-ego in the morning. I think it's my way of keeping it in a good mood so that it doesn't go and jump at me when I least want it to.

It's really early in the morning now. 

I slept through dinner last night because Kaoru, being the angel that she is, did not wake me. With the upset I got yesterday, it was best that she let me sleep. I think I would have cracked my head for sure if I stayed up and kept hearing things.

I didn't know getting a nasty on the head could do that. Funny that I could have taken a beating from Shishio, Enishi and Shogo with more grace. Last night, I felt like a kid who had gotten a boo-boo.

Everything's fine now, and I do so like making breakfast. It's the next best relaxing thing to doing the laundry. Sano will have a fit if he heard me say that.

It was strange though, dreaming about Tomoe like that. I hadn't dreamed about her in ages, and with my other dreams it was always about the…blood. The one yesterday was different. She sounded happy. And she called me names too. What was that? Oh yes, how can I forget? Idiot. 

That's what guilt does to a person, I suppose. 

Idiot. What a major understatement.

I killed her and she calls me idiot. 

Kenshin, you must be really losing your marbles.

"Good morning, Kenshin!"

I sighed in contentment. This is what I live for.

"Good morning, Kaoru-dono!" I replied with my best smile. Only the best for my Kaoru.

"How's your head, Kenshin?" She asked, going to the vegetable basket to help with the chopping of the radishes. 

Not too scrambled, I hope. I meant my head, not the radishes. I flashed another smile and turned to the pot of miso. "Uh…I'll be fine, Kaoru-dono. You shouldn't worry too much about this unworthy one."

"He could be such a idiot. Doesn't he know that I live to worry about him?" Kaoru intoned.

I froze, my gaze swerving to her direction. _He? Like third person, he?_

She kept chopping the radishes as prettily as you please. 

"Kaoru-dono?" I asked testily. As if that would clear everything up. Rurouni, you're definitely an idiot. Tomoe knew it, Kaoru knows it, and probably half of Japan knows it. Everyone's just clamoring to jump into the "Kenshin's A Moron" parade.

Kaoru looked at me. "Yes?"

What the hell do I say? It's not like I could ask her: Kaoru-dono, did you just say what I thought you said, or did you just think it? 'Cause you see, Tomoe visited me last night and gave me this gift…

"Kenshin?"

I snapped out of my stupid-daze and tried for my best escape: Rurouni innocence. "Eh…he…he…n-nothing."

"Kenshin, are you sure you're all right, maybe you should leave breakfast to…" _Me…hah! That'll surely fix him up in a hurry. Ladies and gentlemen, another vile concoction from Miss Kamiya Kaoru, anti-chef extraordinaire! Yep, couldn't cook to save my life, can I? One man's meat is another man's poison, but with me it's always poison, isn't it? Maybe I should have cooked for the Shinsen-gumi. That might have ended the war sooner than anyone expected._

"Oro! K-Kaoru-dono!" Too many thoughts at once! God, I'm hearing her thoughts! How the hell is that possible? No! I'm going insane! Battousai, didn't you have a good morning? _My GOD!_ This is--this is completely _INSANE!_

Kaoru stared at me with scrutiny. _Great! Now I've terrified him. Extra! Extra! Read all about it! Kaoru in the kitchen! Japan declares a state of emergency!_

What do I do? Oh, I couldn't be hearing this! Demo, is she that passionate about her cooking? Oro! Idiot-Kenshin, you're imagining things! You've got yourself believing that you can pick up on Kaoru's thoughts, no doubt a direct result of the frustration you've been having over the fact that YOU CAN'T HAVE HER!

"Kenshin, I was going to say that you should leave breakfast to Misao," she said in a hurt voice, her eyes glazing a bit. "I know my limits."

Are those…are those tears? Surely, she can't be upset because she can't cook.

__

Why can't I do anything…un-tomboyish? Rang her miserable thoughts. _Sometimes, I just want to do something nice for them, like cook an edible meal, but I can't even to that!_

Well, now I feel like a TOTAL JERK! Kenshin, you idiot! I should have known there was more to Kaoru's anger when the others teased her about her cooking!

I'm sure my face fell to several levels of compassion for her, and reproach, for myself. 

Whether or not I'm imagining things, I cannot let Kaoru get hurt this way.

"Maa…" I began in my usual soothing way. "Kaoru-dono, I'll be fine making breakfast, and your help is most appreciated, de gozaru yo. I couldn't ask for anyone else. Let's put this onigiri together, ne? Animal shapes, just the way you like them."

She sniffed and I saw her wipe hastily at her eyes with her sleeve before turning to look at me. She had an adorably tiny smile on her lips. "Of course, Kenshin."

__

"I don't know why I get so emotional," her thoughts added.

I smiled, partly from relief and partly from knowing she felt better already. I voiced another thought, one of the things I should have told her a long time ago. I pinched her chin affectionately and turned to help with the other radishes. "Kaoru-dono, this unworthy one does not know what he will do without you."

Kaoru blinked, then she blushed quite beautifully.

I just loved to get her blushing. It's worth all this "unworthy one" business, and what not.

"Oooh! Kenshin I could just kiss you!"

I blinked and looked at her.

Chopping.

I sighed. I'm definitely frustrated.

__

Mou! I swear Misao is after Aoshi's looks! How can she stand to be with a zombie like that? Never saying anything, never LOOKING anything. It's enough to turn your eyes white and give you bad breath!

I suppressed my groan as Kaoru's voice thrummed in my head. What the hell is wrong with me? For the last two hours, I've been imagining her mentally firing all sorts of retorts. It was mostly about her frustration of getting Aoshi to do anything apart from clearing his throat in disapproval. In addition to that, she has also expressed irritation at Aoshi's clueless-ness with regards to Misao's feelings for him.

Where are all these musings coming from? Have I finally snapped? Will I, any minute now, grab my reversed-edge sword, flip it to its sharp edge and hack my way through all of them?

I certainly don't feel like I'm going Battousai, but why am I introspecting like this? And for goodness sake! If I was making all this up, I should at least leave out Kaoru having an opinion on Aoshi's so-called good looks. So far, she has called him "pretty boy", "Misao's sexy pseudo-boyfriend" and "Mr. Looks Too Good in A Suit." I was never jealous of Aoshi, but damn! If any of it were really her thoughts…oro! I'm not going to let him get near her!

What in good Kami-sama's grace is happening to me?!

I think…maybe I should keep my distance for a while, more for her sake, not necessarily mine. A day or two, perhaps?

Who the hell am I kidding? I'd be restless for her in a few hours. I couldn't stand to be without her for so long. Which is to say I have to get my bearings real fast.

If I don't get this resolved soon, I will go completely and utterly nuts!

__

Misao, you dear girl. Maybe if you would just…listen, Aoshi would talk more, ne?

Oro! There she goes again!

Has some merit though. It would be just like Kaoru to be kind in both deed _and_ thought. In my humble opinion, I think Misao talks up a storm to make up for Aoshi's thundering silence. 

At this very moment, the weasel-girl was going "blah, blah, blah," like never before. Stands to reason why Kaoru was probably sitting silently on her side of the table. So was Yahiko.

Oh for crying out loud! No wonder Aoshi doesn't say anything. He couldn't! Nobody could with Misao taking the floor--

Himura, heel!

All right…I am stressing out. I am turning into an absolute prick. This is all seriously getting to me. 

I need to…I need to…

"Do the laundry," I suddenly said. 

As soon as I said it, my eyes widened at my own moronic blunder. 

Oro! Moron! You just said that out loud!

I stared at them in horror as they all stared back.

Well, that certainly got the weasel-girl to shut-up…for a second.

"Hey! Himura, did you just tell me to do the laundry?" Misao demanded from me.

Ho boy. "N-No! Of course not! I was talking to myself! There's this big pile, you see…" Aargh! Serves me right for losing my handle in the middle of breakfast! "This unworthy one must be excused, de gozaru. I really must go. Excuse me."

I hurried to my feet, ignoring the curious gapes as I bowed hastily and then headed out the door. 

Okay, so I made a complete fool of myself, not to mention rudely implying that dirty clothes have become far more interesting than the company of our guests.

Well, hell! This is an emergency!

The great Hitokiri Battousai deserves therapy too, doesn't he?

And there's nothing like a tub of bubbly detergent to make things right with the world.

Scrub a bit more, maybe Aoshi will stop looking at you like a piece of mold growing in the corner of the room.

He wasn't quiet for very long. "Your soul. It stirs, like a shore with the pounding of the waves."

Oh, where is Misao when I need her? I could do without the reincarnation of Buddha right about now. And why, in the name of Kami-sama, does he always get me during laundry time? Do I disturb him when he meditates? No. I leave him alone, as well he should give me the same courtesy.

I had no qualms of groaning this time. "What is it now?"

"You've been acting this way since last night," Aoshi told me, rubbing a thoughtful hand to his chin. "And you've been giving Kamiya-san these strange looks…fearful, yet expectant."

You think? Yup, couldn't keep things like that from Aoshi, transcendental existentialist demi-god and high priest of the Church of Weirdos Who Want to Keep to Themselves Except When It Inconveniences Them. "It's nothing, Shinomori-san. I'll be fine."

"It disturbs me."

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the crux of it. It disturbs him.

Please go away, Buddha Incarnate. It may be my last chance to go to heaven if I die a loony. That way, I could say that it was through no fault of my own that I went bonkers during the Bakumatsu. 

"Well, _sor-reee_. Not all souls are as settled as yours, _de gozaru yo,"_ I replied in annoyance, placing emphasis on my _polite_ inflection ending. God knows, I don't want to offend him with my _sarcasm. _His high and mighty attitude is beginning to bug me.

He gave another audible sniff and crossed his arms over his chest.

What a haughty son of gun.

Shinomori-kami will speak. "What has gotten into you, Battousai? Whatever it is, ignoring it would be your utter demise. The first step to making peace with ones being is meeting ones demons head on."

"I'm quite acquainted with my demons, thank you very much," I replied loftily, finding great anger on a particular fabric stain on Yahiko's gi. "In fact, sometimes they're so comfortable with me that they pop up without a proper invitation or warning."

Not the least bit fazed, Aoshi continued. "You face off with them. That's your problem. You mustn't resist. Call a cease-fire, and see what you can learn from them so that you will know how to beat them in the end. I could not figure out why you don't already know this."

I bristled. Ooooh…Aoshi, you haven't been admitted to the "Kenshin's A Moron" parade so you could just quit turning up your nose at me.

"Why do you refuse their invitation for peace-talks?" He asked.

I think he's gone more bananas than I have. And I thought _I_ had a split personality. 

All this existentialism is ruining my Laundry Hour Catharsis. "Shinomori-san, I know you're just trying to…fix things, but what I'm going through…you wouldn't understand."

Aoshi gave a shrug and settled casually on a decorative boulder across from me. "How can I understand if you insist on keeping it all to yourself?"

Great. Now I'm his little project. I decided to unload a bit (with my thoughts, not with my laundry), just to get him to leave me alone. "All right, Shinomori-san, I'll ask you this: What do you do when you're seeing into the depths of a person a bit too much?"

He cocked a smile. 

There he goes again! He smiles when I amuse him. Doesn't he have the least bit respect for me? I beat the crap out of him in a sword-fight for goodness sake. Maybe I should bring that up and wipe that smug grin off his face. 

"There's no such thing as seeing 'too much' of a person's depths," Aoshi said sagely. "It only becomes too much when you haven't the enlightenment to use it for your own betterment. Sort of like being afraid of the truth because you might not like what you hear. Ignorance is bliss, ne?"

I raised an eyebrow. Fine! Just swallow your pride, Himura. Slowly as not to choke on it…_Aoshi is making sense._ "G-Go on." Oh, pride could be such a jagged pill!

"Depths are explored," Aoshi continued, flicking off some sort of dust particle from his coat. "You go into it with an attitude of openness, discovery. You may end up with some dead ends, but if you keep going, you'll find out that there's a precious stone here and there. Am I making sense to you, Battousai?"

"Strangely, yes," I replied, getting my hands out of the soapsuds to lean closer in captivation. "So this is…a gift, so to speak?"

"Well," he said, making a casual gesture and then shrugging. "I suppose you can call it that. People are not always what they seem. At least, the interesting ones aren't. To see into someone's depth of personality…it adds spice, it's also a good way to find yourself."

A gift…Tomoe, you're as wily as the fox-lady. You SO set this up. 

Alright, I can take a hint. 

Boy, what a hint. Hold up a sign to my face, why don't you?

Part V: Welcoming the Depths

__

"You think too little of Kamiya Kaoru," Tomoe had said.

Is that really so? I have always thought that Kaoru was the reason for my existence, now my ex-wife tells me that I think too little of her? Well, how far can a man go to love a woman, anyway?

I consider Kaoru to be the blood in my veins! Isn't that putting her on the ultimate pedestal?

I took a deep and ponderous breath. 

Think, Himura. How would Aoshi respond to that?

__

"You watch the surface and fail to see that underneath it there is a more complicated world. Yes, perhaps she laughs, but what makes her happy? Yes, she cries, but what makes her sad? She is not the one that is shallow. You are the one that is shallow."

Ooh, harsh. 

But I have no doubt in my mind that it is true. 

Aoshi is certainly rubbing off on me. Not a good thing? It's not so bad either, come to that.

Kaoru is in the dojo now, with Yahiko. Training, of course. 

Maybe Yahiko isn't the only one who has to learn a thing or two.

I found my way into the training hall where Yahiko is currently serving his sentence of 500 swings. No doubt for another one of his hag remarks.

That kid ought to check his eyes. There was nothing remotely 'hag' about Kaoru.

Kaoru's thoughts assaulted me at once.

__

"Yahiko has good form. I'm proud of the kid, but I'd rather die than admit that so soon. He'll be swaggering around with his chest out and lording it over everyone. And he'll never listen to me again. Kami-sama knows he still has a lot to learn. This is one of my greatest responsibilities, raising him to become a fine man, whom people look up to. Think of it as practice for raising my own kids…if I ever have them. Goodness, at the rate I'm going, I'd be an old maid by the time I reach my twenty-fifth birthday. Maybe lonely people are born, not made."

My eyebrows knotted upon hearing that last thought. Lonely? I thought she was anything but…aren't we enough for her?

__

"It's inevitable that Yahiko will get married when he's old enough and move out with his wife. Then there's Sanosuke…whether or not he's gay, he'll eventually live a life of his own, with Megumi or Saitoh, depending on his preference…"

G-Gay? Is she serious? Mr. Macho? Mr. Tough Guy? It isn't possible!

Oh rurouni, but it is. He's a little too macho, and a little too tough. How's that saying again? Me thinks he speaketh too loudly…

__

"Maybe if he's gay and Saitoh isn't, I can convince him to stay with me for the rest of his life. I'd love to be his 'girlfriend', so to speak. Oh, wouldn't that be nice? As freeloading and as Baka as he is, I could stand to live with that oh so sexy voice."

N-No way!

I saw her give a barely recognizable sigh before she went on. _"Well, well. That's the least of my troubles. The real doozie is Kenshin. I think he's getting restless. I keep expecting to find his room empty when I wake up in the morning where I will discover a 'Dear Kaoru-dono' letter on his pillow. I've offered him nothing but my violent temper, my terrible cooking, and my total lack of social grace. Wish Tomoe-san was around to give me pointers. Then again, if Tomoe-san were around, I wouldn't even have my rurouni. The ironies of life are indeed upon me with a vengeance."_

Where did she get the idea that I would just pick up and leave?

History check: Kyoto.

Right. 

Kenshin…Kenshin. You haven't really talked about that with her have you? You just assumed, in your thoughtless little way that she would take everything at face value. Jerk!

"Kenshin, are you done with your laundry?" Kaoru suddenly asked me.

I gave a start of astonishment. I didn't even know she noticed me. Laundry? Oh yes. It was so important this morning that I had to pick up and leave in the middle of breakfast. "Yes ma'am," I replied, settling down on the dojo floor. 

Yahiko continued like the disciplined student that he was as Kaoru conversed with me. She kept a close eye at Yahiko, but she kept up the discussion. "I saw you speaking to Shinomori-san in the yard. I noticed that he likes talking to you when you're busy."

Tell me about it. I gave a nod, leaning the hilt of my sword on my shoulder. "He is a reserved man. He chooses his listeners with hair-splitting precision."

Kaoru gave a chuckle. "Indeed. Maybe I should let Misao do the laundry, like you suggested this morning."

"Oro!" Kaoru could be so unbelievably witty at times. "Maybe."

Yahiko was already counting his four hundred and fiftieth swing. I think he's too focused to keep tabs on the conversation, but I'd rather not go into the intimate stuff in front of him. Besides, I had to know more about Kaoru, or I'd likely screw up again with my blundering ways.

"Kaoru-dono, you're going to the market later, ne?" I asked. 

"Yes," she replied cheerfully, looking at me. "You want to come with me?"

It was almost some kind of Standard Operating Procedure for her to ask. I always accompanied her if it wasn't me who was going myself. I think it is part of the protection thing. On a more flubbery note, I go with her because I want to be with her. It's the closest thing I can get to a date. "Yes. This unworthy one would like to accompany you." This time it's different, though, way different.

Whenever we go out on these "expeditions", Kaoru is always lost in thought. The silence is comfortable between us, which is why I never stressed out about breaking it, but I often found myself thinking that I would give anything to get a peek into her mind. 

Looks like I got my wish without having to give anything. Life is not so bad to _sessha_.

"Okay Kenshin. I'll let you know when I'm ready to go," she replied, turning back her attention to Yahiko. _"Well, it's better than nothing." _Said her thoughts.

What a doozie. Even _she_ knows I'm too chicken to spring her with a date. Well, it's not like I'm totally chicken. It's just, that _Sessha_ thing keeps lurking over my head. I mean, what right do I have asking out this pristine and unstained beauty? I'd feel like a very, very ugly ogre asking a princess to the ball. 

Whatever, I'll get to that when I have to get to that. There are just too many other things to worry about. It's become quite clear to me that I haven't the faintest idea how Kaoru thinks. I've been relying on end results way too much for both our goods.

From what I've heard so far, this is going to mean a whole bunch of surprises. 

To be continued.

Author's Note: It occurred to me that Aoshi-sama and Kuno-sempai could do a chorus with the way they talk, but I suppose Aoshi-sama would do a kempo-kodachi (his swords, not Kuno's sister) combo on him for "disturbing the scope of his spiritual universe."

For all you Heterosexual-Sano lovers out there, please do not freak out on me! To be honest, I had to get that out of my system. It's in the back of my head, but I'm not going into this issue very much. I'll keep it vague, because the truth of the matter is, women manage to contemplate gay tendencies in men who are too "manly", so to speak, as much as in men who "aren't that heterosexual." Especially me, I think, who has a roster of queens for friends. They've been begging me to do a Homosexual-Sano, but I told them that I'm still way behind in understanding the homosexual mind, so I'd mostly likely make a mess of it.

This will go on, have no worries. I just have to get to work. Gotta work.


	3. Part 6 and 7

Author's Note: I am so afraid that this fic will not meet your expectations. Yes, "Pig-boy Romances Tanuki-chan" was wacky. This on the other hand will focus more on the romance aspect. Course, I will still try to make it funny, but there will be more WAFF here. After all, it's about Kenshin realizing that there's more to his Kaoru than he thought. I dunno, please do not expect to be laughing your heads off. WAHHH! I wish I could do that, but these are things beyond my control. Perhaps that genie…no, I will not go into that again!

BTW, Thank you for the reviews! Really appreciate it. I also discovered that Mel Gibson has a following on FF.net. (*grins*) Isn't he dreamy? Just like Kenshin…two guys I won't be getting.

So sorry this installment took so long. 

Standard disclaimers apply.

****

Mind of the Woman

Part VI: Immersion

__

"Why do they stare at him like that? When they look at him, they see only the scar and the red hair. They call him the Hitokiri Battousai, as if Himura Kenshin does not exist. They fear him, because they insist on clinging to the legends, as if he wasn't alive for them to find out who he really is. He's already trying so hard with the smile he puts on and with that cute 'oro' he does. Can't they at least extend him the courtesy of not whispering about him behind his back? Then they refer to me as his woman, as if it was a bad thing. Don't they know how much I WANT to be his woman? Don't they know that the only thing I hate about living with him is that he DOESN'T make me is woman? Of all the ironical things…Kenshin you moron!"

I smiled slightly at what I heard. Her face was blank, not a hint of what troubled her, but she has been going on like this since we got on the crowded streets. Funny how her litanies always ended with that inevitable "Kenshin you moron!"

She really shouldn't be bothered about what other people think of me. I've been dealing with that sort of thing for more than a decade. I'm used to it by now. Heck, I even think I deserve it. It actually sort of lessens my guilt. 

Talk about masochism. Doesn't translate to anything more than social-rejection, I hope. If I find myself with Hurt-Me-Perv tendencies, I will absolutely kill myself. 

I shuddered at the thought.

One thing I've noticed, though. In response to Kaoru's mental defense of my social well being, she has taken to walking close to me, as if daring anyone to loathe her for acknowledging my companionship.

What an odd couple we make. I stay close to her because I want to scare everyone into thinking that to harm her means to deal with me, while she's furious at the revulsion people feel for me when they watch me walk down the streets.

I could almost laugh.

__

"Ooh! What a pretty color! And the embroidery is just lovely!" Her thoughts gushed, her eyes conveying nothing but casual interest for the length of fabric with lavender and pink hues laid out on one of the market stalls. She continued to surmise. _"Affordable too! Oh, but I don't think I should indulge myself. I have enough kimonos. And it's not like Kenshin would notice, then there's Yahiko who would just keep calling me hag…what's the use?"_

I tried to keep down my sighs. Of course I notice when she's wearing something new. It's just that…well, I shouldn't be encouraging her to fall for an old-fogy like me, even if the same old-fogy's hopelessly in love with her...She just shouldn't! She should find someone younger, with a better spirit. 

Like…like…okay, presently, there's no one I consider to be remotely deserving of her. 

I think Sano hinted that his ex-Sekihoutai friend Tsunan casually expressed interest in Kaoru once or twice. Shyeah right! Like I would really let her go and marry a bomb expert. Take a hike, buddy. See ya! 

Then there was that painter what's-his-name. Weirdo pervert! Tried to peep on my Kaoru in the bath. Capturing her image, he says. If you ask me, he was trying to capture something else. Of all the lame excuses to get off…like I haven't heard that one before. I've walked in on her bath (been in it, in fact, just recently) and yes, it may have been art, but in no way was I thinking about proper shading and perspective.

Enishi was the worse. I'm not even going to go into that.

Call me picky, but Kaoru deserves more than a pack of losers. 

Maybe a king, or a prince…that would do for her. Yes…yes…where she can live in a castle. I could be the miserable bodyguard to Her Highness Kaoru…

What…WHAT THE HELL AM I THINKING? Get a grip Himura!

Kaoru reached out and touched the fabric with her fingertips. Her eyes were attuned to her emotions now.

__

"Oh, but then it's really nice. I ought to buy it anyway, even if it's just for myself. Even a tomboy like me wants to feel pretty once in a while. I'm allowed that, ne? Boy, oh boy. Raccoon-girl, all dressed up and no where to go. Well, SO WHAT? Aaargh! I am so PATHETIC!"

She dropped her hand and looked straight ahead, intending to leave the stall with nonchalance.

This is just all my fault. "Kaoru-dono, don't you like the fabric?"

Kaoru smiled and gave me a cheerful half-shrug. "It's okay, but it's nothing special or anything like that."

That unaffected seeming, so non-indicative of what she really felt. Oh, but why, Kaoru? Why not make yourself happy? You liked the color and the pattern. "It will look very nice on you."

She tilted her head to the side playfully. "Is that so? Well, I suppose that ought to convince me, but I think I'll restrain myself just this once. I've got more kimonos than I have occasion to wear them. I mustn't be greedy, you know. Some girl out there probably has every reason to shop for a new fabric, and this will probably fit her just as well if not better. I think I'll leave it for her, whoever she is. I don't really need it, anyway."

Kaoru turned to continue through the market. _Wouldn't it be nice if something good came out of that pretty thing?_

I followed more slowly and pondered over what she said and thought. 

I realized that I had misconstrued her again. Aoshi would deck me for my initial short sightedness. Even with my new insight I still almost fumbled it.

It now occurred to me just what that was all about. The pretty fabric won't make her happy. It's just woven silk. Disappointed though she may have been to decide not to get it, she finds more happiness in some other girl purchasing it because that girl might have a better reason for buying it…so unselfish, I could cry. 

That's one thing about Kaoru. I just turn into this unrecoverable pile of mush whenever she does something particularly endearing. I don't consider myself overly sensitive, but my goodness, she can really get a guy all teary eyed. 

Maybe for someone like me who's trying to get her to fall for someone else, what I'm about to do is totally askew of my objectives, but hell, I can indulge her, can't I? 

I bought the fabric.

I didn't tell her I bought it. I just kept the package camouflaged among the food parcels I carried for her. Her thoughts in the market were dynamic, ranging from what she saw on the stalls to Yahiko's training the next day. 

Kaoru's anger for those who gaped at me and her inner conflict with the fabric were about the deepest insights I gathered. I didn't really expect her to go into too much in a noisy crowded place like the shopping district.

I also realized, to my great unease, that she had quite a few admirers among the throng. Stupid little me had to pick it up from _her _mind, as if I didn't have eyes to see it for myself.

__

"Is he staring at me? I wish he wouldn't do that. It's quite uncomfortable," she would think, not looking the least bit fazed. 

Silly me would look for the guy who's ogling her and try to catch his eye, only to discover that he was too enamored of my Kaoru to realize that I DON'T LIKE IT THAT HE'S LOOKING AT HER.

I don't know why I didn't notice them looking before. Besides, what am I supposed to do about it? I couldn't very well tell them to buzz off, even if I wanted to. And boy, do I want to.

At the rate things are going, Kaoru _will_ become an old maid. 

Well, they could just shoot me! Is it my fault that they don't measure up to my--er, Kaoru's standards? Right, Kaoru's standards. That's what I meant, really. It's up to her. 

But it isn't a crime to come up with my own standards, ne? I'm not going to impose them on Kaoru or anything…at least, not much.

Yep, not that much. Just a little tiny bit. Just a smidgen. Maybe more than a smidgen. Marginal. Depending on how much she likes the other guy in spite of him being an absolute loser. Right, losers are a definite no-no for my Kaoru.

Oi! What's that guy looking at Kaoru for? He's a doctor from another town, they say? Well, I think he's a LOSER! 

Part VII: After Effects

Of course, when Kaoru and I got home, Aoshi was there to meet us. No, he was there to meet me.

I was the project after all.

__

"Turn around and I'll be happy to see you," sang Kaoru's thoughts before chiming out an "I'm home!" at Aoshi.

I simmered in irritation. What the hell is it with Aoshi's butt?

I should ask Sano. 

Oro! I don't even know if he's really gay!

"Welcome back!" Misao suddenly cried, popping out of nowhere. From the roof, it seems.

"Hyahhhhhh!" Yahiko yelled, shinai above his head, heading right for Misao.

__

"Mou! What terrible form!" Was Kaoru's immediate thought. 

Pursing her lips, she snatched the shinai from the air with skillful precision and slammed it on Yahiko's behind. 

"OUCH!" Yahiko complained, falling forward with his hands clutching his offended rear.

"For shame, Yahiko-chan!" Scolded Kaoru, hands and shinai to her hips. "I taught you much better than that!"

"Maa…" Misao said in her usual cheerful way. "We were just doing some ambush training."

"Oooh! Yahiko that was simply atrocious!" Kaoru growled, grabbing Yahiko by the back of his collar. "To the dojo! Right now!" She dragged him kicking and screaming towards the training hall.

Misao followed behind them, doing her monkey-dance.

"Why does she do that?" I muttered, heading for the kitchen to deposit the food purchases and start with lunch. 

Inevitably, Aoshi followed.

I gave a frown of distaste. Here we go again. Laundry…cooking…next thing you know he'll be invading my Bath-for-Kaoru time.

"I don't suppose you'll leave me alone," I said calmly.

Aoshi shrugged. "This new depth of yours, it fascinates me. I can feel it in your ki that you do have some odd…shall we say, handle on Kamiya-san, but for the life of me, I could not figure out how you acquired it."

"Ah," I replied, entering the kitchen where I began to put down the supplies. "I was hoping you would be the one to tell me that."

He looked at me in restrained surprise. "You mean you don't know?"

"Shinomori-san," I began patiently. "Do you even know the extent of the depth I speak of?" Let's see if I can surprise Buddha Boy here.

Aoshi, predictably, gave a superior huff. "Of course, Himura. You've tapped on to the labyrinth of Kamiya-san's spirit. You have begun to unite the nature that is yours and hers."

I raised an eyebrow and stared intently at his face. "You haven't the slightest idea, do you?"

He frowned and turned away. "I can't know _everything_."

Odd that he thinks that it's some major flaw in a person.

Who would subject ones self to so much pressure? Apparently, Aoshi would. Stick a coal up his butt-hole and in a week you'd get a diamond.

"Well, you don't have to know the depths." It was my turn to be haughty. "And you don't have to know how this unworthy one happened to do it, either." 

Aoshi began to grit his teeth and clench his fist.

What's the matter now?

"You must tell me how you did it," he finally said.

I looked away in irritation. I swear, he considers this quest for the cosmos as some kind of competition. He probably thinks I have one better over him. So obsessive. "I told you. I don't know how it happened." Well, I did, in a way. But what was I going to tell him? Go get an ex-wife and kill her so she can give you a gift when you're screwing up your love life?

"Well, find it out!" He practically commanded me.

"Oro! Quit ordering me around, you control freak!" I snapped back, facing him and slicing ten turnips in half in the process. _"Honestly!"_ I huffed, straightening the front of my gi and hakama pointedly, then I turned back to my cooking. "Shinomori-san, I thought you were the model of self-constraint."

This seemed to have embarrassed him considerably.

Good. He can just shut-up for a while. Find it out…feh! I ought to beat the hell out of him.

He stayed quiet for a few minutes before speaking in his subdued voice again. "It disturbs me that you can find enlightenment without even trying, Battousai. I am thinking that maybe there is something wrong with me."

Oh, there's something wrong with you, alright. It's finding out to how far-gone you are that's the trick. 

I cocked an eyebrow at him. "You know what your problem is? You meditate and you plunge yourself into the spiritual abyss with so much intensity that you've forgotten the most basic thing about the whole hoopla."

He glared at me. I don't think he liked it that I called his mission for the divine a "hoopla".

I ignored him without batting an eyelash. "Shinomori-san, you have forgotten to _relax_," I finally told him.

He stared, thunder struck.

Ah, so now it occurs to you, you spellbound twit. "Meditation is all about finding some measure of inner peace and focus. How can you do that if you're stressing to get there faster than anyone else? It isn't a race. I cannot figure out why don't already know this." Ha! In your face, Aoshi!

After a few more moments of gaping, Aoshi cleared his throat and looked away from me. "I suppose I had that coming. Thank you, Battousai, for pointing it out. I will heed your words."

Isn't this the strangest of days?

"On a more personal note," Aoshi continued, picking a stray leaf of vegetable from off the counter top and disposing of it. "What have you learned of Kamiya-san?"

Changing the subject now, aren't we? Well, I can live with that. "Enough to give me better insight into her personality. I have more to learn."

"Wouldn't have anything to do with that silky thing in the fruit parcel, would it?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

I now have proof that no one could resist the lure of intrigue. "Maybe it does."

"Well, it's about time you got a move on, Battousai," Aoshi said. "All this tension between you and Kamiya-san is absurd."

"Yeah, put yourself out of your misery, Kenshin," came a voice from the entrance of the kitchen.

Sanosuke couldn't have come at a better time. Of course, his topic of conversation didn't contribute to my relief. At least Aoshi would stay out of it for the time being. Sometimes I wonder if that guy is actually awake during group conversations, or he has learned how to sleep with his eyes open.

"Konnichiwa, Sanosuke," I said, grinning at him. "I was wondering when you would show up. You haven't freeloaded for the last two meals. Kaoru-dono said you might have turned up dead in some gutter somewhere in Edo."

Sano frowned. "Hey! Do I have to be dead not to turn up in this joint?"

I nodded with rurouni innocence.

My unequivocal agreement made him scowl. "For your information, I got a job."

There is something definitely supernatural at work here. 

I could say nothing for several seconds and Aoshi was more deadpan than usual. 

"What are you two looking at?" Sano asked.

As if he didn't know.

Gathering my senses, I smoothly got on with the discussion. "What kind of job, if you please?"

Sano fidgeted and looked away uncomfortably. "Oh, you know. The job… here and there, odd hours and stuff like that."

Aoshi and I raised an eyebrow at the same time.

"Odd hours?" I inquired. _"What kind of job is it?"_

"Jeez! You're nosy!" Sano growled. "It's none of your business. The point is I got a job that pays. That's all you need to know."

I raised my palms up in surrender and went back to chopping. "No need to bite this unworthy one's head off. Forgive me for insisting."

Aoshi then excused himself and began to leave the kitchen, no doubt put off by Sano's presence. 

I wonder what the rooster-head is up to. What kind of job does he have that he snapped at me when I asked him what it was?

I sneaked a peak at Sano and noticed that he was looking at Aoshi's retreating figure. Is he…? Is he checking Aoshi out? 

No way! Ooh! Kaoru, the things you think and say just boggles my mind.

"What?" I asked Sano.

"Eh?"

"What are you looking at?" 

He frowned at me and leaned back on the other counter behind me. "Nothin'. What is it with you today? Asking so many questions…"

He doesn't even know half of it. 

"Nothing," I replied, taking a pot and filling it with water like it was the most important thing in the world.

I worked a bit without saying anything and then I turned to go to the spice shelve, only to catch Sano looking away from me.

This is getting freaky. Was he just staring at my…backside?

Aaargh! I can't take stand the intrigue!

"Sano, is there anything in particular that you want to talk about with me?" I asked.

He scratched his head. A sure sign he was thinking. "So, how are you and Jou-chan coming along?"

What is it with everyone wanting to get the juice on my relationship with Kaoru? I can't make developments with this kind of pressure!

I glared at him. "I'll post an announcement about it, every third day of the week so none of you miss out."

"Cool it. I was just pre-ambling," Sano said with a frown. "The thing is, I came to talk to you about the Fox-lady."

I gave him a suspicious look before getting on with my cooking. "What about Megumi-dono?"

"Do you…think she likes me…?"

My, people are just scrambling to get answers to the mysteries of the universe, and in the process making me even more confused. "I'm…I'm not sure…is it a problem if she does?"

"What the hell are you talking about? Of course it isn't a problem," Sano replied almost immediately. "I mean, she told me the other day that I was a useless, freeloading ogre."

No surprise there. 

"So?" I asked. 

Sano gave me an irritated scowl. "What do you mean, so? You don't think it's bad she thinks of me that way?"

What is he, an idiot? "_Everyone_ thinks of you that way. She only said that because it is common knowledge." Come to think of it, this issue of his may mean that he's more interested in women (or more particularly a woman doctor) than men. Well, that's one mystery solved.

"What?!?! I _do not look_ the least bit like an _ogre!"_

Or not. 

I think I won't go into that right now. "Sanosuke, why do you care about whether Megumi-dono likes you or not?" It would have been a stupid question yesterday, but in view of the, ahem, observations of Kaoru and the slight alteration in the scope of my perception because of it, I think the question is valid enough.

"Well, duh!"

Silence right after.

What? 

He was not saying anything.

"'Duh' what?"

"Just 'duh'!"

We may not look like a couple of ogres, but we sure sound like it, "duh-ing" and what not.

I am so not in the mood for this. "Sano, this unworthy one has to cook lunch," I said quietly, going back to my work.

He sighed. "Yeah, whatever Kenshin. I'll be outside."

This is going to be a long day. 

To be continued

Author's Note: Not much going on in that last one, but I am taking my time on this. I was laying out the groundwork, so to speak. I hope I don't offend any of you with what's going on with Sano. I'm NOT making any promises about that. It will be a secret, for now. As for Kenshin and Kaoru, they will have more action in the next installments.

I know this is going slow, but I've been very busy at work. So sorry! I'll try to make it up to you all by releasing a few one-shots (not related to this!). Anyone care for a one-shot lemon? Well, you don't have to answer that.

I'll be back to give you more on this fic. Stay tuned. 


	4. Part 8 and 9

Author's Note: You must all be wondering…is Sano gay? I dunno. We'll see what happens. I just like spicing things up, that's all. Kenshin's OOC, but I think he was more OOC in the last fic. Though he's less, well, aggravated here because there's really no one to make him go stark, raving jealous, he's more smart alecky, ne? But I think I'm keeping up his rurouni game-face pretty much the way it usually is. 

Hope no one goes ballistic with the little bombs I've been dropping! I pray you enjoy these next installments. Parts 8 and 9.

Again, I apologize if this took so long, but I've just gone through 16 hours of anime. It goes with the Anime Festival around here. Next week is another 16 hours. I feel like I'm drugged. 

Standard disclaimers apply.

On with the story.

****

Mind of the Woman

By anna-neko

Part VIII: Cautious

Over the course of the next few days, I listened to her musings. 

Apart from the occasional melancholic moment, Kaoru's thoughts were mostly full of wit, laced with humor and sarcasm. Sometimes she would be irritated, by Sano's freeloading, Aoshi's patronizing silence, Misao's dizzying babble, Yahiko's name calling, Megumi's teasing, my so-called clueless-ness and her own shortcomings. Her anxiety, which was mostly centered on me and Yahiko, was constant, but could be eased with a smile, or in Yahiko's case, an uttered "busu" or "ugly".

I don't know exactly what Tomoe hoped to accomplish by this, but the more I listened, the more unworthy I felt. Kaoru knows no sorrow, which brings me to the question: Why should I even introduce her to it?

Sorrow is so close to my person that it would insist on being acquainted with her.

I simply won't let it.

I haven't given her the yard of cloth I bought the other day. I don't know what I'm waiting for, but somehow, I feel that the timing isn't quite right. 

One thing I do know about this mind-reading business, it's a lot easier for me to make her smile. 

When the chill of autumn stung more than usual, I would fetch her coat and earn her heartfelt thanks. When training took its toll and her bones would ache, placing a liniment bottle near the furo would gain me her appreciation later. When Aoshi became too ponderous for her taste, I offered dinner at the Akebeko for everyone to lighten things up (But I only did this once. I couldn't bloody well afford it _every single time_ he became unbearable, unless I was willing to walk around wearing a barrel.)

In short, I have learned that spoiling her was just about as delightful to me as it was to her. 

Everyone noticed it, of course. What with all of them trying to get the scoop on the great Meiji romance. I imagine they were lapping this up, but I didn't care. I just wanted Kaoru to be happy and contented. They could raise their eyebrows as much as they wanted.

I don't know what the big deal is anyway. They all knew I loved Kaoru.

For goodness sake, it was so painfully (and I do mean painfully) obvious during that Revenge fiasco, practically rotting in Rakuninmura the way I did. 

I was so satisfied with pampering her that I forgot to watch out for the consequences.

After Kaoru's initial good mood because of my attentions, she began to get confused.

The idiot in me did not expect this. I thought we could go on like this forever, seeing we both liked the arrangement. But I was wrong. 

Seems like even when I'm doing things right, I screw up anyway.

Story of my life.

I triggered the confusion one fine day, when almost all the leaves have left the trees that kept them.

The Kamiya dojo residents decided to take a holiday by the lake. While Yahiko and Misao tried their best to irritate the hell out of Aoshi, I sat on the grass beside Kaoru. I had my fishing pole in my hands while Kaoru insisted on being in charge of the net and bucket.

__

"This is taking forever," Kaoru thought somewhat impatiently.

I restrained myself from chuckling. I couldn't really blame her. We've been sitting around waiting for almost fifteen minutes.

I'm not exactly Fisherman of the Year, unless one counts catching Catfish every damn time I just want to catch anything _but_, and just my luck, Kaoru _hates_ catfish. 

__

"I wonder why Kenshin is being so sweet to me," she pondered, her mind drifting from the fishing to, shall way say, more dangerous waters. _"And so thoughtful…"_

I kept my eyes to the water, waiting for her to make her own replies.

__

"Does he…does he really love me?"

At that point, I frowned to myself. Oh, isn't life just like that? Everyone knows it but her! I thought I had made myself clear on that and the _Sessha_ bit. It isn't important what I feel. What's important is that she deserves better than a nothing like me! 

Her eyes stared at the water blankly. _"Maybe he does! But then…maybe he doesn't. It's totally possible that he considers me as a little sister. Raccoon-girl and Ken-big-brother…omigod…just like Ayame and Suzume! Oh, doesn't he get it? Doesn't he know that I consider him as more than a big brother? I'm not a little girl anymore! For goodness sake, I have fantasies of the damn rurouni…"_

Oro! Wonder why I never caught those.

__

"…if that isn't an indication that I'm one up on Ayame and Suzume, I will kill myself! But then, Megumi thinks I'm a little girl a lot of times…maybe I AM less than grown-up. Oh, but that's different! I can be immature, but it doesn't make me a kid! I lived by myself for two years of my life, dammit! And I currently manage to feed two freeloaders and one rurouni slash savior of Japan slash housekeeper into the mix!"

I suppose I had that coming.

__

"What the heck do I have to do to be loved by Clueless-Kenshin? Put up a sign? Aaargh! He doesn't love me! He should just quit being so nice to me! He should stop leading me on! This is so stupid! This is so…so…."

"Kenshin, you clueless idiot!" She yelled, throwing the fishing net in my face.

"Oro!" I had that coming too. 

She got to her feet and stomped off to the direction of Misao and Yahiko.

"Kaoru-dono! W-What's wrong?" I asked desperately. This is great. Just great! What do I do? "Kaoru-dono, this unworthy one is sorry he couldn't catch any fish!" Oh, that was so lame. I should have kept my mouth shut.

"Leave me alone!" She cried back, not even turning to look at me.

That wasn't even the last of it. 

After that episode, Kaoru began to lament everything I did for her. I use the word lament because she always kept the appreciative glint in her eyes whenever I did something for her, but now it was tinged with sadness, because it was nothing more than a desire to make her comfortable and taken cared of.

The funny thing about it is, I've been aiming for that comfort and care, but now that it's there, it isn't the least bit satisfying.

What is it that I'm doing wrong? I've delved into her thoughts, used it to try to make her happy, and yet absolutely nothing is working the way it's supposed to work. Maybe I should talk to Buddha Boy again. 

No. Not such a great idea. He couldn't possibly fathom what I'm going through. Besides, he's meditating more than usual. At the rate he's going, he'll catapult right through the roof if he found out I've gone into mind reading.

I could just see him turning into a Zen Monster, demanding that I tell him how I managed to get a look-see into Kaoru's brain without meditating hours on end.

I'll just have to figure this one out on my own. I don't want him popping a vein on my account.

Two weeks after I slipped in the bath, I went to bed more perplexed than ever.

Lucky for me, somebody was paying attention.

__

"Oh, deeeeeeearyyyyyy…."

T-Tomoe? Boy, she sounds scary. 

"Good evening, ex-husband."

I suppose it would be asking too much to talk to you face to face.

"That's right. You'll just have to feel like the idiot you are, talking to thin air."

Idiot, eh? SO…what did I do now?

"Oh, oodles of whatchama-moron things. You wouldn't believe how angry I am."

Why, pray tell? I didn't know there's PMS in the after-life.

"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that, Kenshin, for your sake. Now tell me…WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?"

Oro!

"I give you a gift, and what do you do with it? You're wasting it, that's what! My goodness, if I had known you were this…this…stupid, I wouldn't have bothered! Do you realize the red-tape I had to go through just so I can give it to you?"

F-Forgive me! I'm sorry, Tomoe-sama!

"Tomoe-sama indeed! Don't you dare think brown-nosing will get you out of this!"

Panic time! I swear, I'm the only guy in this world who can do such a thing. I the great Hitokiri Battousai, can do things no normal man can do, including getting his dead wife angry at him. 

"Oh, yes. Panic, my sweet moron. You've never seen me angry, have you? Not like this…"

Tomoe, tell me what I should do. P-Please don't kill me…

"Kill you? Oh Kenshin, I would never do anything as KIND as that. Hurt you, now there's a prospect…"

Oro!

"BUT, I've decided that I'm going to give you another chance."

Thank you, oh great--!

"Understand that I do this only because you've spent a ridiculous amount of time making yourself miserable! And the main reason I did this is because I think you've suffered enough. Letting you dig your hole any deeper will defeat the purpose of giving you the gift in the first place! I'll be the laughing stock of the after-life, and I just cannot have that. Do you hear me, Himura?"

Y-Yes!

"Very good! Then I'll tell you what you're doing wrong. Kenshin, you've been listening, but not enough!"

Oro! Not enough? I've been busting my brains trying to get the goods on Kaoru! What do you mean I haven't been listening enough?

"Just that! I'll give you a hint, Kenshin. Do you really think her mind stops processing after dinner?"

After dinner? What the --?

"You're listening to her at the wrong time of the day, Kenshin," Tomoe continued, the irritated lilt in her voice more pronounced than ever. "Do you honestly think she'd let any of you pick up on her true sorrows where you can catch it during the day? Of course not! You should know Kamiya-san better than that. She's the most unselfish creature to walk this earth, and she will not have you worried about her for anything more than a leaky roof!"

Oh, she is kind, isn't she? Always trying to make people happy. She has that adorable look on her face.

"Oh, yes. Very adorable ind--hey! Don't change the subject!" Said Tomoe sternly. 

Well, well. The woman doesn't miss a beat.

Tomoe went on. "You're afraid, cautious. Just like Shinomori-san said. You listen to her mind, when what you ought to do is listen to her soul. But you've just plain refused to do that!" 

Wha--?

"Kenshin, I do suggest you take my advice to heart, or else, I'm warning you, I will be the least of your troubles."

Is that so?

"You better believe it. Now, GET TO IT!"

"Ororororo!" I exclaimed, sitting up on my futon in attention.

My eyes frantically scanned the room, and seeing that everything was normal, I gave a sigh of relief. 

I don't know why I was so afraid in the first place. 

What could possibly be worse than Tomoe getting angrier?

A monstrously pissed Kaoru, that's what.

Enough said.

Part IX: Influenced

What am I supposed to do now? 

We've just finished up with dinner and I haven't the faintest clue on how to go about this. Unfortunately for me, this Zen stuff doesn't come with a manual. 

Step one: Read into your beloved's thoughts.

Step two: Don't be afraid to see into her soul.

Step three: Don't screw it up now.

Step four: Refer to step three, just to make sure.

I doubt if even Aoshi can help me. I'd call Tomoe, but she doesn't exactly have an address I can mail a letter to.

Besides, she already told me that I should listen to Kaoru's thoughts at night. 

Now how does that make sense? How will _that _be any different from listening to her during daytime? 

It's at night. 

Jeez! That sounded even more stupid.

Besides, Tomoe made it quite clear that the reason Kaoru isn't freeing her thoughts is because she didn't want any of us to pick up on her feelings, which means I have to catch Kaoru unguarded, which means I have to sneak up on her, which means I have to have access to her bedroom…

Oh, _don't even go there, Himura_.

Well, well, well…this is only the most important phenomenon in my life, and I have to bungle it by making my _other _sword do the thinking. 

Granted, the _wakazashi_ hasn't had any action for over a decade, but right now, THERE ARE OTHER THINGS TO WORRY ABOUT!

Shees! Focus, will you!

"Himura Battousai."

Speaking of gifts, Aoshi has one for bad timing.

I looked and saw him with Misao clinging to his arm while she gazed at him with woebegone eyes.

Now, there's a sight to see. At least _someone's _getting lucky in this joint.

Whether it's Aoshi or Misao will forever remain a mystery.

"Yes?" I asked, summoning all my will power not to snicker.

"Misao wants to go for a walk," Aoshi explained, stone-faced. "I will accompany her."

"It's a nice night for that, ne Aoshi-sama?" Misao gushed, rubbing her cheek against Aoshi's arm. "We can walk by the river, and then we can pass by the night market, ne?"

Aoshi gave a grunt and began to walk away with Misao. 

"Don't wait up, Himura!" Misao chimed over her shoulder as they made their way out of the gate.

I guess I won't. 

"Blech!" I heard a voice behind me say. "How can she like that guy? Not only is he the most boring freak in the world, he also tried to kill you and Okina!"

I chuckled as Yahiko sat beside me on the porch.

"Maa…people forgive and forget, Yahiko-kun," I said to him. "As for the boring part…well, love can make you see things others don't."

__

"Oh Kenshin? Like what?" Ah, the tone of that thought I know so well now.

I grinned to myself. Kaoru.

I looked over my shoulder and smiled at her. She smiled back and took the other side of me.

Yahiko crossed his arms over his chest stubbornly. "I think she just has a silly infection for him."

"Oro!"

Kaoru giggled. "I think you mean _infatuation_, Yahiko."

"Same difference, that one is," I responded, chuckling.

This caused Kaoru to giggle some more. "Oh Kenshin, that was mean, but very funny."

"What is it with girls and older men, anyway?" Yahiko asked, not the least bit worried about the consequences of what he had said.

Kaoru's face turned red. "Eh? What's wrong with girls and older men?" _I dare you to say it, Yahiko. I DOUBLE dare you!_

For your sake, Yahiko, SHUT UP!

Yahiko didn't. "Oh, it's okay when the guy's just two or three years older. Heck, I can stand a difference of five. But _fourteen?_ That's just plain weird. Even ten's hard put."

I frowned at Yahiko. Hey! What's wrong with ten?

__

"Ohhhhh! This brat's going to get it from me! He's so dead!" Thrummed Kaoru's mind.

I should save his ass. I really should, but somehow, I don't feel like it now. What's the hell's so wrong about a thirty-year-old guy falling for a twenty-year-old? 

"Aoshi's old enough to be Misao's father!" Yahiko said, completely oblivious to the rage he was causing.

It was then it occurred to me that Yahiko was really just talking about Misao and Aoshi. 

With Kaoru's surmised _"The boy is actually just rambling,"_ it pretty much figures that the conclusion was not lost on her.

I blew a slight breath through my lips. There's one insight. Kaoru and I don't like being dissed about our age gap. Not much of a surprise, since I used to consider it an issue myself. 

"Hey, I got another mystery for ya," Yahiko said. "Anyone know what rooster-head's new job is? He hasn't been showing up as regularly in the dojo lately."

I just knew it was bound to be brought up. Kaoru's mind was strangely blank. Whatever thoughts she had on it, she did not permit even herself to think it.

"No," I replied, adjusting my sheathed reversed edge sword on my shoulder. "All this unworthy one knows is that Sano keeps odd hours."

Kaoru raised an eyebrow. "Odd hours…?" _No Sano, you WOULDN'T. But if not, why won't you tell us?_

Uh-oh. Kaoru has an inkling. 

I gave a nod. "Yes ma'am. Odd hours. He refused to give any more details when I asked him."

__

"Sano…if you're…ooh! I can't just stand by and let you!" Said Kaoru's mind with conviction.

What? What won't she let him do? Dammit! What was so horrible that she wouldn't even _think_ it? 

__

"Alright, maybe I'm jumping to conclusions, but if I'm right…if I'm right!"

Oro! I can't stand this suspense! "Kaoru-dono, what do _you _think?"

__

"Quit calling me 'dono' and maybe I'll answer you!" 

What the heck? She didn't like "dono"? But…that's my _thing_.

"I have no idea," she replied, gingerly getting to her feet and grinning. "I think I'll fold in now. I've had enough of this intrigue." She gave a yawn.

Yeah right. Whether or not I can read her mind, I just know that this isn't over. Kaoru isn't much of an actress. She overdid it with the yawn. 

"Me too. Got a lot of chores to do tomorrow!" Yahiko said, bouncing to his feet and heading for his room.

I live with a bunch of lousy actors. There's no way Yahiko _ever_ looked forward to chores. These two are completely hopeless. No future for the stage around here. 

__

"Bed, relax a bit, and when everyone's asleep…"

Ah-ha. Caught you, Kaoru. I'm not about to let you go alone in Sano's district. No way, no how. Beautiful woman like you…those goons would mob you if you weren't protected. It's no problem for me, anyway. Got my trusty reversed-edge blade. We'll spy on Sano together. It's almost romantic, ne?

There I go again. Overcompensating for the date I could never ask for. 

Romantic…feh! Yeah right.

The day skulking in the thug-district is romantic is the day Yahiko stops calling Kaoru "hag".

There she goes. Just as I thought.

Frankly, I'm quite surprised that she'd go through these lengths to find out what our resident freeloader is up to. It's not like anybody bothered to look out for him before. It wasn't for lack of caring either. It's just that Sano looked and acted like such a tough guy that everyone assumed he didn't need anyone's concern. 

It seemed Kaoru had taken a different approach this time. I wonder what she thought he was doing. She still hadn't taken to thinking it for me to hear. 

Her thoughts went on about taking care of her friends, not wanting them to be pushed to do things they shouldn't do, desperation for money, stuff like that. 

Following her from behind, I was relieved to discover that she had enough sense to dress in her most unattractive kimono. It was a brown and blue one. Blech! Small wonder she never wore it before. It was either given to her by some aunt with poor taste, or she had bought it in a fit of insanity. 

With the stealth of the hitokiri, I skittered about, following my liege. 

She didn't duck or skulk, which was much to her credit. Kaoru knew she couldn't pull off something like that. However, it did seem like she knew where to go. 

Come to think of it, did she? She was turning this way and that, seemingly without destination, yet she neither hesitated nor stopped for directions. Where is she going?

I followed her through the alleys, crouched in the darkness, frowning in disapproval at the route she was taking. What possessed her to go through these passageways alone?

She was focused on where she was headed. I can hear her mind thrumming to turn here and go there. Her thoughts revealed nothing as to where she intended to end up in. 

Then after a long and winding "goose chase", as I had begun to call it, her mental scream assailed my head.

__

"Caught you!!!!" She emerged from the shadows, bokken raised above her head. "Kiyahhhhh!"

"Ororororo!" I exclaimed, tumbling back to avoid her swing. 

Something slammed at me from behind and we fell on the ground in a heap.

"Ouch! Watch it!" Cried the voice of a little boy. "Ouch, my foot!"

Yahiko! "Kaoru-dono, stop!" I yelled desperately, my sword already raised to block her bokken, which was helter-skeltering to pulverize my precious treasures. Heaven help me if her bokken connects. I could already tell by the arc of it that I wouldn't be able to walk for weeks! "Desist!"

"Omigod!" Kaoru yelped, pulling her bokken back just in time but landing herself on both me and Yahiko.

"Ouch! Get your dead-weight off us, ya hag!" Yahiko complained.

Kaoru gasped. "You two! Do you realize that you almost gave me a heart attack? I thought I was in danger!"

Yahiko grunted and I tried to get off him in spite of Kaoru being on top of me. "_You _thought you were in danger? Who the hell got jumped, anyway?"

"Kaoru-dono, you were trapping us," I said in extreme approval after recovering from my scare. I was distracted from the chaos by her cleverness. 

She seemed a little irritated. "Well, what would you have me do? I'm not exactly up to facing two strangers from the thug-district in a fair fight."

I grinned and pinched her nose. "That's very smart, Kaoru-dono." 

There she goes again, blushing. So cute.

She hastened to get off me and smooth her clashing kimono in front of her. "You might as well accompany me." _Sure beats being alone in this place._

I smiled and helped Yahiko to his feet as I rose to mine. "Of course, Kaoru-dono. This unworthy one was just looking out for you."

Kaoru shook her head and rolled her eyes. "And unlike normal people, you had to follow me in secret. Honestly, Kenshin. If you had wanted to come, you could have just asked."

Ah, indeed. My stupidity never ceases to amaze me.

"Hey, hag! Do you even know where to go?" Yahiko asked.

Predictably, she bristled at the nickname, but she kept her composure with great willpower. Yahiko wouldn't believe the vile epithets her mind was spewing. "As a matter of fact, I do. Somewhere around this time, Sano hangs around a small food stall just a bit off his pad. I think he goes to work from there."

I raised an eyebrow. "How do you know that?"

"I just do," she said a bit snappishly. 

__

"I've seen him before," her mind betrayed.

Kaoru didn't seriously mean that she's gone to this part of town at this time of night before, did she? Alone, no doubt. Kaoru-darling, what have you been up to? Anything could have happened to you! And then where would I be?

"Let's go!" Kaoru said to us, leading the way.

The issue on how she obtained the information would have to wait. Right now, we were on this rather pointless pursuit of…I can't believe I'm saying this…taking care of Sano.

We saw Sano in the distance accepting a note from some dubious character. Sano opened the note, read its contents and nodded at the messenger.

Almost immediately, Sano hefted a bag over his shoulder and went his way.

__

"I can't believe it! I won't!" Kaoru's thoughts cried stubbornly. _"Ooh!" _

What?!?!? What can't she believe?

I felt Kaoru grabbing me by the wrist simultaneously with Yahiko's. "Let's go!" She whispered urgently. 

__

Now we were skulking. It wasn't very hard. The thug-district had enough seedy corners and shadows to lurk into. Hiding was not a problem.

Sano stood in front of a small house, an apartment, really, and knocked on the door.

A man, larger than Sano, answered the door. 

They exchanged pleasantries, it seemed, and then Sano was welcomed inside.

"Oh Sano! Don't do it!" Kaoru voiced out, leading us into a deeper alley that emerged where the window of the particular house was placed.

"What is he doing?" Yahiko asked in a whisper.

"I'm not sure yet, Yahiko," Kaoru replied, putting a finger to her lips to signal for silence.

Still not having the faintest idea as to what Kaoru was concluding from all of this, I listened.

"Glad you can make it here fast, Sanosuke-kun," said the other man in a gruff voice. "But I just couldn't get it off by myself."

__

"Get it off?" She thought, blushing to her roots.

I stared at her in wonder. Is she…thinking what I think she's thinking?

"No problem," Sano said casually. "Let me at it."

"Here, let me just take this off…"

"Whoa!" Sano cried to our utter astonishment. "Jeez that's big!"

"Can you do it?"

"Course I can do it!"

"What a relief. My wife freaked out when she saw the size of this thing. Wouldn't go near it with a ten foot pole!"

Sano laughed. "I can understand her sentiments. Let me just get some stuff here…some lubricant ought to make it easy. Shees, it's huge!"

My eyes widened at the same time as Kaoru's. Our stares were filled with horror.

No way! No way can Sanosuke be a…a…

__

"…Man-whore!"

Her thoughts, not mine! Oh, who am I kidding? Sano, you idiot! Why'd you have to go and be a He-bitch? Are you that much in debt?

"Should I pay you now…? Or after?" The man asked.

"After will be fine. Mind if I take off my shirt?" Sano asked. "It's kinda hot with all these lamps…"

The man laughed. "Go ahead. You must forgive my wife's insistence to the lighting. Winter isn't proof against it. I'm feeling hot myself."

Kaoru grabbed my collar and Yahiko's sleeve, biting her lip and shaking us both frantically. _Omigod! Omigod! Omigod!!!!_

Oro! What does she want me to do?

"Let me just bend over a bit…" Sano said. "Can you hold that up for me?"

"Sure, sure. Whatever makes it easier," replied the man.

"Can you pour some of that lubricant for me? My hands are busy," Sano requested.

"How's that?"

"Perfect. Now I just gotta slide this in…"

Kaoru's thoughts suddenly boomed through the tension. _"NOOOOO!!!!"_

"Oro!" I cried out loud, actually covering my ears.

"Stoooooop!" Kaoru shrieked, grabbing me by the scruff of my neck and lifting me to my feet.

"Ororororo! Kaoru-dono!" I cried in panic.

"Ugly, what the--!"

"I can't stand this! Don't let him, Kenshin!" She yelled, shoving me with uncanny strength right through the window. 

I landed on the floor with a crash and immediately rolled to my knees, pressing my forehead to my hands that were flat on the floor. "I am very sorry! I beg for your forgiveness! I didn't mean to barge in!" I blubbered, bowing a countless number of times. I kept my eyes closed, mostly because I didn't want to see Sano in any compromising position.

The sound of running feet and then Kaoru's loud gasp almost made me miss her next thought.

__

"Shit! I SO screwed up!"

"Eeeeew! He's touching it!" Yahiko whined.

That's more than I'd like to know. Cautiously, I cracked open an eye to see for myself.

Sano was indeed shirtless, something he couldn't be blamed for with all these infernally burning lamps all over the house. He was on his knees, crouched over a built-in breadbox, holding a very big and oily dead rat in one hand and a spatula in another.

The other man was holding the lid of the breadbox up, crouched in a very decent position beside Sano. In his other hand was a bottle of castor oil. He was fully dressed and nothing more than surprise of our entrance blanketed his face. 

The bag Sano had been carrying around was draped open on the floor, where I can make out various handy-man tools. Hammers, nails, cranks…

I am so ashamed.

Sano blinked in momentary surprise, then he recovered. "What the hell are you all doing here?" He demanded, depositing the dead rat in a tin pail.

__

"Oh! Oh! Retreat! Oh, CRAP! This is all just a big mistake!" Came Kaoru's frantic thoughts.

I hastened to explain. "Sanosuke, I am very sorry for barging in like this! But we were worried about you! We had to know what kind of job would keep you from showing up in the dojo every day like you used to."

Sano raised an eyebrow, then he shook his head, turning to the man. "See these idiots? I freeload and they complain. I become self-sufficient, they complain. What's a guy to do?"

The man chuckled kindly. "They are truly your friends, Sanosuke-kun."

"Jou-chan, were you the one I heard screaming a while ago?" Sano asked.

For a moment, Kaoru's mind was wailing for her to lie, but always honorable, her shoulders slumped and she sighed. "Aa. It was I. I thought you were…well, I'll tell you later, but…what is _this_ all about?"

Sano stared at us for a moment, then he turned to his client. "Is that all that needs to be done, Arataki-san?"

"Oh, yes!" Replied Arataki pleasantly. "The wife will be pleased we had it out so soon. It's sickening, though, that we couldn't find out where the smell was coming from sooner. It might have saved you from having to pry that thing out at this hour."

"Rigor mortis does that," Sano said flatly, then he smiled. "Well, that's why I'm here. Emergency Handyman at your service."

"And such good service it is! Here you go, slugger. Keep up the good work!" 

Sano was paid, after which he headed out of the house with the rest of us following shamefacedly behind him.

Kaoru has not stopped blushing, I noticed. _This is SO embarrassing! I can't believe I put Kenshin and Yahiko up to this! This is precisely the reason why I sneaked out in the first place! Oh, this is what I get for worrying about the rooster-head! How did I even think he was capable of such a thing? You mean, mean raccoon-girl! Just because I saw him the other night going into some strange woman's house…_

Alright apparently, Kaoru's been getting around without my knowing. Now, why would she do that? And why would she keep it from me?

I am thoroughly at a loss. And to make matters worse, it just occurred to me that all this had been because Kaoru got me so worked up about what Sano's mysterious occupation was.

This is a perfect example of Kaoru's influence over me. 

I can't believe it. We haven't even started dating and already I'm henpecked. 

I peered at Sanosuke. He was smirking to himself. At least, he didn't seem like he was angry.

Well, I've been so caught up in my own problems that I've rather neglected my friendship with the rooster-head. I think Sano and I are really due a talk.

And boy, do I have questions for him.

To be continued.

Author's Note: This chapter may seem pointless, but it was used to establish something for Kaoru. Just so you don't get so turned of (*tries to give a pretty smile*). Anyway, this will go on. I can't wait to get to the Sano-gay issue. It's just too yummy to keep you guys guessing!

Tee hee! 'Till the next installment!


	5. Part 10

Author's Note: WELL! That last chapter was indeed a blast to write. I tend to get compulsive when I'm working on details and loose ends. Got plans…got big plans…well, maybe not that big, but I'm sort of dragging this around because I didn't want to finish this fic so soon. It's not really over yet, but if I had done the wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am bit, the lot of you would've killed me in cold blood.

Sorry there isn't much going on with Aoshi and Misao, but the only reason they're in the fic is because Kenshin needed a spiritual boost from Buddha Boy (AND I needed someone with a nice ass.) I'll see what I can do with them, but it won't be a lot. Sorry Aoshi and Misao fans! Not much on Yahiko either. Well, maybe I'll do a fic about him next time.

As for Sano…I think I'll put you all out of your misery in this chapter with respect to his…ahem, preferences.

This is just Part 10. Don't you fret.

On with the story.

****

Mind of the Woman

Part X: The Truth Shall Set the Rooster-head Free

"SO!" Sano began, holding out his sake cup to Kaoru who was filling it diligently without a word for the last twenty minutes. "Let me get this straight. You were all _curious _about my new job…"

"I was worried!" Kaoru protested.

Sano chuckled, his cheeks already a little red from the earlier doses of sake. "Alright, Jou-chan, _you_ were worried. The rest were just curious, that is, until _you_ got them all as worried as you were."

Kaoru turned red without the help of the sake. I wasn't proof against the implications either. 

Yahiko's conscience was clean. The kid only wanted to snoop, which to him was completely natural for a brat. Furthermore, the thought that Sano was granting sexual favors for money never crossed his mind. 

Kaoru felt the worse between the two of us, I'll wager. I had only thought Sano was doing something inappropriate when we eavesdropped underneath the window of Arataki, but Kaoru has apparently been entertaining the theory in her head for quite some time now. For two days, I think, judging by her thoughts about seeing Sano going to some strange woman's house the other night. 

I would have to ask her about that later on. What was she doing out there, at night? Unless she was snooping already, which wasn't likely. No, she was out there for some other reason. She came across Sano, saw some things she couldn't make out at first, then let it go for the meantime because obviously, she didn't want anyone to know she was there in the first place. My information about Sano keeping odd hours for his particular job triggered her outrageous conclusions.

My goodness, for someone who can read into her mind, I am totally and utterly boggled.

I couldn't believe how guarded she is, even in thought!

Even at this moment, she was revealing nothing. Just that she is so ashamed of herself and that she should not have thought of Sano that way. She would make occasional references to seeing Sano entering the woman's house, but that was just about it.

"So you followed me tonight based on this hunch of yours…" Sano continued, "…that I had actually taken up…what was that? He-Whoring?"

Kaoru turned even redder and Yahiko rolled on the floor, screaming in laughter.

__

"Man-Whoring, if you please," I corrected him. _"He-Bitching_, if you wish to put it another way. _He-Whoring_ sounds too much like a donkey complaining." I said calmly.

Sano began to laugh loudly himself.

For someone who's been wrongfully accused, he's sure taking this well. 

Kaoru frowned and her thoughts fired away. _Raccoon-girl, you will never live this down! Megumi will laugh her head off to the next century, and Kenshin will think I'm the biggest ditz ever to walk this planet._

I wanted to tell her that the part about me would never be true. I can't vouch for Megumi, though.

"Let me tell you something, Jou-chan," Sano said, controlling his guffaws. "When it comes to sex and men…it ain't about the money!"

"Oro!" 

Segara, you didn't have to tell her that! That's way too much information.

The secret lives of men ought to be kept the way it is from the likes of my Kaoru…secret!

Still, I can feel my horror mixing with mirth. I am beginning to see just how ridiculous this situation is.

Sano and Yahiko collapsed in another fit of laughter. 

"It's _not funny!_" Kaoru cried, a genuine pout on her lips. "I was really afraid you had resorted to desperate measures! And you can't entirely blame me either. Why didn't you tell us you were working as an Emergency Handyman?"

Ah, good point there. I would like to know what possessed Sano not to divulge his current career.

Sano took a deep breath to control his laughter and shook his head. He began to blush more deeply than what the sake was capable of doing. "Jou-chan, you should know that by now. Big, bad Segara Sanosuke, prying rats out of breadboxes…sometimes climbing up trees to recover an old lady's cat…fixing leaks in roofs on an unexpectedly stormy night…it ain't me."

Kaoru stared at him incredulously. "You were _ashamed?_ But Sano…there's nothing to be ashamed about that!"

Sano shrugged. "Well, maybe not, now that I've thought about it, but at the beginning, it took some getting used to. My reputation as a bad-ass…it's my thing, you know. I'm sort of fond of being thought of as a good for nothing free-loading gambler. People were actually afraid of me, now the folks in my part of town see me as Mr. Dependable, which is totally…bizarre, to say the least. Felt like abandoning my beliefs."

And that, my friends, is the great Sano-istic Philosophy: Bumming is an art.

Count on Sano to think of freeloading as a difficult occupation to maintain. 

Which brings me to my next question. "What made you 'abandon your beliefs'?" 

"Oh, the Fox-lady said I couldn't keep a job if my life depended on it," Sano replied without hesitation. "I had to prove her wrong, of course. That woman acts so high and mighty when it comes to how people should live their lives…pissed me off, I tell ya."

"Pissed you off," Yahiko repeated. "Riiiiiiight."

Sano scowled at him. "Well, it did!"

Oro! So Sano does care about Megumi!

__

Oopsie, incoming! Kaoru's thoughts suddenly chimed.

I followed her gaze and I saw Misao and Aoshi arriving from their walk.

What time is it anyway? They were out for an awfully long time.

Aoshi was laden with packages and Misao carried a few of her own. The two had apparently gone shopping in the night market. As usual, Aoshi looked neither pleased nor peeved, but Misao was bouncing about in her perpetual state of energy.

"We're back!" Misao cried cheerfully, pulling Aoshi with her up on the porch.

"Welcome back!" Kaoru returned with a wide smile. "My, you must have bought the whole flea market!" 

Misao shook her head. "Nope! Just half of it!" She began to take the packages from Aoshi and lay them out on the floor.

I wonder how Aoshi does his shopping. 

__

Aoshi in a shopping spree: The wind whispers…it summons me, telling me, that the scope of my perimeter is adversely affected by the things I do…yet I am minute, relatively devoid of existence in the expanse of this universe. Infinite, never ending, full of the inconspicuous…

Market Stall Owner: Do you want to buy the damn shoe-cleaner or don't you?

Yep, that's pretty much how it would go.

Aoshi dropped something on the floor and he bent over to pick it up.

__

"Hello," Kaoru surmised, raising an eyebrow as she…tried to nonchalantly get a better view of…

Oh, fer crying out loud! 

I spotted Misao doing the same thing, only less nonchalantly.

Alright, it figures! Aoshi's got the ladies in that department, and it's not like he can help it if Kaoru thinks it's a little cute, but damn! 

I'm getting kinda tired of Kaoru checking him out.

What the hell is so special about Aoshi's butt anyway? It's not like it's totally different from mine, right? Is it? Feh! 

I squinted for the split second glance at his behind. 

Shees! They all look the same to me. 'Course, that's maybe just because I haven't taken to examine the male anatomy. I can certainly tell the difference with women, but _I think_ I'm not going to go into that. 

__

"What…? What is Kenshin looking at?"

Wait a minute…that was Kaoru's thoughts…eep! She caught me looking at Aoshi's…oh man!

I looked away immediately and my eyes involuntarily fell on Sano who was…also staring.

Yaargh! Damn Buddha Boy must have a beacon up his a-hole! He's raking everyone in!

Even Sano whom I thought….

"Hey!" I somewhat whispered to him, nudging him in the ribs. "What are you staring at?"

This prompted Sano out of his daze and brought his attention to me. "Eh?"

"What are you _staring at_?" I repeated, bearing down on him.

Panic began to register in Sano's eyes. "N-Nothin'!"

I half squinted at him and crossed my arms over my chest. "You and I, we have to talk." I said in a low voice.

__

"That's it, Kenshin. Find out once and for all, so I'll know if I can ask him to stay with me in the dojo permanently."

Oro! Kaoru's got the senses of a tiger! 

She was pretending not to listen, and she skillfully attended to the new arrivals.

Sano said nothing for a few seconds then he nodded. "Fine. Tomorrow afternoon."

"Agreed," I replied. 

I met Sano the next day in a tavern near his house. He already had a small bottle of sake on the table and judging by the flush of his cheeks, he had partaken of it as well.

God knows I could use a drink, but I never did like sake very much. 

My day with Kaoru did not go well. It seems that the situation about my attentions to her has gotten worse. Whereas before it was only her thoughts that were manifesting the sadness over the way I treated her, today she had almost taken to cry about it right in front of everyone. So much so that Misao actually pulled her to some corner where I couldn't have access to her mind. She has been with Misao ever since and I couldn't even get a look-see. 

There was something ineffably irritating about making a mess of things when you just want to make things better. 

Not my best of days.

"Care for some of this, Kenshin?" Sano asked me, gesturing to the sake bottle as I took my seat across from him.

I shook my head as a waitress approached us upon seeing I was a new arrival. "No, thank you. It's too early for that."

Sano shrugged. "Have some anyway. You're paying for it."

"Oro!" Of all the low-down dirty things… "You're really something else! You expect me to finance your bad habits?"

"Hey, you're the one who wanted to talk," Sano told me pointedly.

I frowned. "Even when you have a job, you're a freeloader."

"Can I get you anything, Red?" The waitress asked, wiping her hands on a dishcloth.

"Yes, some respect," I muttered grouchily. Sano could really gnaw into a bad mood real fast.

The waitress raised an eyebrow. "Sorry Red. We're all out of that today. Anything else?"

I looked at the waitress who was calmly waiting for me to order. "No. I don't think I'll order anything today. Maybe tomorrow, when _somebody _isn't mooching off my fabulously heavy pouch of coffers," I replied, directing my sarcasm at Sano.

"You sure, Red? We make great miso. You look like you could use some. It does wonders to a person's complexion."

Very funny. "Thank you. I'll remember that the next time I do a facial."

She grinned. "Hey, Sanosuke. Didn't know you had such grouchy friends." 

This woman has just turned my mood from bad to worse. "Didn't know I needed your approval," I muttered.

She gave me an amused grin. "Only when it comes to my favorite street-fighter."

"Oh, woe is me. My life is over because Sano's fans don't think I'm peachy-keen," I said flatly.

The woman grinned and put a hand to her hip, tilting her head as she looked at me. "Say…ever thought of becoming a waitress?"

Oro…

Sano chuckled. "Leave him alone, Yanagi-chan. I think he woke up on the wrong side of the bed."

"Your girl gave you the cold shoulder, Red?"

I sighed. I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if she were really talking about Kaoru. My love life is an open book. Everyone is just waiting for the next episode. "I am very, very sorry for being so rude, Yanagi-dono. This isn't one of the best days for this unworthy one."

Yanagi laughed. "Yeah, whatever. I'll shut up now, but if you decide to wait tables, let me know."

She walked away, probably to attend to the other customers.

It just figures that I had to bite someone's head off. This meeting with Sano isn't even supposed to be about me. It's about Sano, and whatever it is he's hiding.

"Wanna talk about it?" Sano asked.

Mr. Sensitive now, is he? Ulch! Doesn't fit him. "That's for another time, Sano. Right now, I have some questions for you."

"Shoot."

How do I put this? 

Sano, I'm just curious, really, what do you think of Aoshi's butt? 

Sano, do you like men as opposed to say…women? 

I don't know why I'm putting my life on the line here. Somehow, a voice is telling me that if Sano _is_ indeed straight, he'd likely kill me if I asked him about his sexual preferences. Straight and homophobic. That would be the combination with him. 

On the other hand, if he _was _gay, I should have nothing to be afraid of. After all, it would be for his own good if he came out with it. As his best friend, I should help him cope with things like that. 

These delicate questions sure could put a lot of strain on me. 

How to ask…how to ask…"Sano, are you gay?"

"WHAT?!?!?"

Eh? Oh SHIT!

I said it OUT LOUD!

"What the _f&*%_ did you just ask me?" Sano demanded, turning redder than ever.

Oookay…not quite the delicacy I was aiming for. 

Even with his reaction, I still don't know what I got myself into. It's either he's going to deny me, if he's gay, or he's going to be one very, very pissed and ticked off macho straight man.

"Umm…" I don't know why I get myself into these things. "S-Sano…no need to get angry, my friend. It's not like it's a _bad _thing! This unworthy one would just like to know…"

He grabbed me by the front of my gi before I could even protect myself and he glared menacingly. 

"Do I _LOOK_ like I'm gay?" He demanded. 

"Oro! It's not like there's a _look_ to it!" I explained hastily. 

"Look here, you pretty-boy-laundry-addicted-kitchen-girlie-man…"

"Hey! I resent that!" And I did! What the hell's so wrong about liking detergents and cooking? I ought to beat him to a pulp all over again! I tell you, I was too easy on these guys when I whipped their asses! I get no R-E-S-P-E-C-T whatsoever.

Steam was practically coming out of his ears. "If I'm gay, then what the hell have I been doing dreaming about the Fox-lady every goddamn night? Who do you think I've been getting off on, you?!?!? Shit! What the f*&% is wrong with you?" His voice was already getting loud, and I swear, if he shook me any harder, my brain would start clattering to the floor.

"Sanosuke! C-Calm down!" Straight and rabidly homophobic. Check! "This unworthy one did not mean to offend you!"

Amidst his anger, a trace of something odd passed his face. He released me and moved away a bit. "Hey…are you asking 'cause…you know, you're looking for company?"

Oh brother. Now _I'm_ gay. 

Wouldn't it have been convenient to be gay in the oh-so-testosterone-dominated Ishinshishi?

"No Sano, I am not gay," I replied calmly, just relieved that he had gotten past some of his anger. At least I am sure to keep my teeth. "Granted, I am neater than most men…" I arched my eyebrow pointedly in his direction. "It just means that I'm not a slob."

"Hey! Who are you calling a slob?"

"WHATEVER. The point is, I asked you because I was concerned that if you _were_ gay, I just wanted to know because I am your friend. And you're not the only one dreaming about women."

He glared at me again. 

Was it something I said?

"You leave the Fox-lady alone!"

I cannot believe the mood swings of this man and just how idiotic it can make him. "Sano, you first class idiot! I'm not talking about Megumi-dono!"

Sano blinked, the last traces of his anger disappearing. "Oh. Well, I knew that. So, is Jou-chan like, kinky in your dreams?"

"Oro! I'm not going to talk about that!" Catch me telling him about that dream I had of Kaoru in the dojo holding a bokken and wearing absolutely nothing…too much information. Well, two can play at that game. "What do you mean you get off on Megumi-dono?"

Sano did the impossible. He blushed. "Jeez! Do I have to spell it out?"

For the first time that day, I found it in myself to laugh. "Oro! So you DO know how to handle a sword!"

Sano made a fist. "Hey! That was nasty!"

"Maa…" I tried to say calmly, but I fell to laughing again.

"Don't you dare tell me you don't get off on Jou-chan, rurouni!" Sano said through grit teeth.

Shees. As if I'd tell him. "Let me ask you this, Sanosuke. What were you doing checking Aoshi out?"

"Oh that," Sano replied, blushing a bit more. 

My, isn't this the strangest of days?

"Megumi said something about me being on her ugly list, then she said that I should ask Aoshi for some pointers on how to improve my looks. She also mentioned that he had a nice piece of you-know-what. She sort of made references to you too," Sano explained, making a face. "What the hell is it with his butt anyway? Did you see the girls ogling him last night? It's a conspiracy, I tell you."

Ah. So he noticed. He isn't as oblivious as I thought. "Sanosuke, if I knew, then I _would_ have to be gay."

"Right. So, are we done with that issue?"

"Quite."

"Great. So, what are your plans for Jou-chan?"

I really should make a newsletter on it. "The Daily Kenshin and Kaoru" it would be called. Written up as "Your update into the latest buzz on what's going down with K&K."

I shook my head and decided that a shot of sake didn't seem like such a bad idea. "Sano, pardon me, if you please…but…stuff it."

I feel like I'm an assassin again. The ole hitokiri doing his thing. Hiding in the shadows, bushes, trees…I have to be careful. It is now apparent to me that Kaoru isn't as easy to trail as I thought. Last night she _knew_ someone was trailing her. I won't make that same mistake again.

After dinner this evening, I spent most of my time trying to get into Kaoru's head. I was hoping she would release an unguarded thought, maybe about what she was doing out in the streets for the past few nights. She was distracted. She revealed nothing, except that she was going out again, tonight.

So here I am, following her. I noticed that she wasn't dressed as awfully as when she went out for Sano. In fact, she looked quite nice. It gave me more reason to watch out for her. Protect her from those who might get stupid ideas in their heads when they saw her comely appearance. 

With the way she looked, gorgeous in her lavender kimono, I'm surely not the only one who'll go gaga over her. 

Right now, I peered at her from the top of a leafy tree, well hidden from everyone else. I couldn't get close enough to pick on her thoughts, but I'm waiting for my chance to close in unnoticed. 

I saw her entering the shrine and some of my worry dissipated.

Shrine is okay. Shrine is good. I can wait a bit more.

I think I'm getting too old for this. I've got a little crick on my back sitting in this tree. Boy, Kaoru sure could pray. She hasn't come out of the shrine for near thirty minutes. 

My devout little Kaoru. If she's praying for me, I ought to tell her good luck. 

__

God standing in front of the gates of paradise: You there! Red with the scar on your face! Where do you think you're going? 

__

Me, trying to sneak into paradise: Eh? Are you talking to this unworthy one?

God, extremely annoyed: No, I'm talking to the scar-faced red-haired guy behind you…who else would I be talking to? Think you can get past the list, hmmm?

Me, wanting to sink through the floor: Umm…this unworthy one's tried to be good…

God glares at me: Says here you were a hitokiri during the Bakumatsu.

Me, trying to slip God some money: Eh he…maybe you can forget about that in view of the following…?

God will of course go into a divine rampage and send me straight to hell. 

I sighed. This unworthy one has a lot of catching up to do.

I almost fell off my branch when I spotted Kaoru coming out of the shrine. She had her trusty parasol with her.

Autumn showers have been common of late, but I'll bet my hide it was more than just a fear of getting wet that she brought it around. The Kamiya Kasshin adjutant master would likely keep it handy as a weapon, because as Kaoru had so pointed out in her adorable way, she didn't have a bokken to match any of her kimonos.

Upon reaching the street, she went the opposite direction of her original route.

Where is she off to this time?

Stealthily, I followed.

To be continued…

Author's Note: Heterosexual-Sano fans…feel better now? Thought so. I really like throwing off my readers. It sort of makes things unpredictable. Next chapter might be a bit WAFFier than usual. I dunno. We'll see. I hope you stay tuned. 

I'm really sorry I'm slow on the chapters, but I have this business, see…yeah, yeah, I know. Excuses, excuses…but Fanfiction.net doesn't pay me anything for writing this stuff, so I gotta find some other source of income so I can buy the coffee I'm living off from.

I'll try to post the next chapter up soon. 

'Till that time…ja!


	6. Part 11 and 12

Author's Note: Some of you asked me what a "wakazashi" is. Well, it's like this. A samurai usually carries two swords: A katana and a wakazashi. Kenshin exchanged his katana for a sakabatou, and he got rid of the wakazashi altogether. A wakazashi is primarily used to block attacks and perhaps to distract the opponent from the real killer, the katana. More importantly, a wakazashi is a shorter sword. Kenshin therefore has a long sword, which is his sakabatou, and, well…a shorter (not necessarily a "short" one, mind you) sword all his own. Get it? 

Tee hee! Might be too nasty, but this comedy isn't for the weak of heart. I have scandalously played with all the characters, especially Kenshin. Perhaps even angering a few people by the OOCiness of Kenshin and Tomoe! Well, I tend to do that with comedy, so friends, ne? I believe in keeping the Kenshin-gumi in character when I'm doing a drama, but for comedy…let's just say I want to be unconventional.

Maybe sessha would like to plead for forgiveness? (*Dodges a rain of tomatoes and the occasional spear*) AAAAAAAAAAH!!!!! DON'T KILL ME RABID OTAKU TRIBE!!!!

Lots of WAFF in this chapter. Be warned. Too much comedy can be bad for the gut anyway. Oh, and don't dis me for Kenshin having a mirror. You'll know what I mean after you read this.

Standard disclaimers apply.

****

Mind of the Woman

Part XI: Discovery

It was apparent by Kaoru's route that she was heading for Sano's part of town. I had expected this, but it doesn't mean I have to like it. Sano may have been the number one tough guy in his district, but he wasn't the number sleaze. That was reserved for the area's more rag-tagged members, which were, quite possibly at this moment, ogling my Kaoru in her finery.

Oh, just let them try to do anything more than look. I'll be on them so fast that they wouldn't even know what hit them. 

Fortunately for everyone, they took a hands-off policy, and perhaps, discussed among themselves her comeliness after Kaoru had passed them.

She detoured from the food stall where Sano supposedly waited for his assignments and took a more secluded path. She stopped a while at a flower stall to purchase a small bouquet then went her way again.

Where is she going? 

This question would be answered a little while later when she turned to head for the graveyard.

I sighed to myself. The Graveyard…at night? 

Why would she…?

She could have just gone in the light of day, when it was safer. And even if she wanted to go at night for some odd reason, she could have just told me. I would have gladly accompanied her.

Oh, but visits to the graveyard…when the sorrow cannot be shared by anyone else…it's always best to go alone.

I should know that. 

But why at night…?

__

…so no one would see her pain…

No. That was almost improbable. Kaoru, considerate as she is about worrying anyone, couldn't possibly be so contemplative about matters of tragedy. She is a vision of life. She lives for happiness. Her pain could not run so deep that she would prefer to keep it to herself. She could not have that kind of pain. Not her. Not ever.

The graveyard was quite, blanketed by a light mist. A few lamps, glowing serenely upon some of the tombstones, speckled the darkness. 

Okay, so another insight. Kaoru…likes the dark? I haven't a clue whether that should be any cause for concern. I mean, Kaoru is usually afraid of things not expected of a kenjetsu adjutant master. Like thunder, and rats. On the other hand, Kamatari didn't scare her (which is a big thing considering Kamatari could frighten more than half of the male population of Japan), nor did Shogo Amakusa, nor did Enishi. I suppose the dark falls under her category of scary bad guys.

That doesn't make a whole lot of sense, but then, it's the reason I'm here. 

I saw her approach a black marble slab, then she went to her knees to place her purchased flowers on the foot of it.

The darkness gave me more opportunity to get close, and I was able to read the name on the tombstone.

Kamiya Tetsuro.

Her father's grave.

__

"Good evening father…"

Ah. Now I can hear her. 

__

"How long has it been? Four years? Maybe more."

Her thoughts rang with her sadness. Goodness…this is seriously getting to me. After almost two weeks of hearing nothing from her but carefree thoughts, the realization that this is a completely different matter is hitting me like a ton of bricks.

Why is she visiting…?

__

"It was around this time, four years ago that a soldier came to the house to tell me that you were dead. That was the worse day of my life, daddy."

The anniversary of her father's death. Why didn't she say anything? Why did she…all these "whys". Somehow, I am beginning to get a nagging sensation that I should be listening a bit more.

__

"I'm still trying to get used to not having you around. It's silly, but remember when I used to bawl so much when I got a splinter in my finger as a six-year-old? I still bawl like that, though I think the splinters are in a different place. No real complaints, actually. Basically, I'm happy to be alive, and I'm happy to have such wonderful friends…family, really. We take care of each other. But…I do miss you, daddy. I sometimes still wish that you were here."

I think…I think I have some dust in my eyes. It feels a little stingy. 

__

"I could always tell you my problems and you would always have an answer. Now…well, I have no one to turn to. Your hime-chan is lonely."

Hime-chan…yes, Kaoru would be her father's little princess, wouldn't she? Lonely hime-chan.

There it is again. The lonely bit. I listened.

__

"What I have now…their company, their love, eventually they will all drift away with their own lives. Nothing is permanent, ne? I would never hold any of them down, so I'll let them go, with a smile on my face and some tears in my eyes. Yahiko…he's growing up. He'll be a little brat for maybe three more years, then he will become a grown-up brat who won't need his 'hag' so much any more. Sano…gay or straight…he's expressed a desire to travel. I think he wants to go to the New World. America, I think? Megumi, the good doctor, boyfriend stealing fox lady…"

I could not help but chuckle at that one. I don't know why Kaoru is so jealous of her. I'm fairly certain it's not because of the looks. Both women had their own beauty. If it was the cooking…well, if I had ventured to love Kaoru for her cooking, then I certainly would have fared badly all this time, but she should know by now that no amount of her vile concoctions could get me to stop loving her. 

Oh, yes. I forgot. She hasn't realized I love her, has she? Definitely a downer to the loneliness issue.

__

"She'll leave as well. Back to Aizu, which is her real home," Kaoru continued. _"And then there's the rurouni…that's what he is…a rurouni. One day…I just know it will be soon. He'll give me the ole' 'it's not you, it's me' bit and go his way, just like he almost did with Kyoto."_

Oro! Kyoto was so _last season!_ Can't she forget about that…

Focus! Don't be such a jerk! 

Yes. I am being a jerk. I hurt her, badly, when I left for Kyoto. I should have apologized. I should have told her that Kyoto wouldn't happen again.

__

"I never knew what the 'kiss of death' meant until he said his sayonara to me that time. It hurt like anything, and when I stopped crying, I wanted to beat the crapper out of him!"

Somehow, I don't doubt her words. 

__

"If you were around, you'd probably knock some sense into that idiot. I mean, really daddy…could anyone be more clueless?"

Well, would you look at that? Maybe Kaoru and I really _are_ meant for each other. A couple of clueless…

__

"Maybe you ought to give him a ghostly wake up call. Give the rurouni the whipping he deserves for leading me on so much."

Oro! First Tomoe and then Kamiya-sama! That would be absolutely terrifying! Her father, whipping my ass because I had dared to love his little girl! Oh! The horror! Please, Kaoru, _don't even go there!_ After all the things that has been happening, I wouldn't be surprised if Kamiya Tetsuro rose from the grave right this very moment!

__

"Oh, I can see it now, daddy. The Hitokiri Battousai, savior of Japan, quaking under your booming voice and penetrative gaze. That would be utterly priceless!"

Thunder suddenly rumbled in the sky.

Ohhhhhhhh! This is giving me the creeps! Kaoru, hurry up already!

Kaoru jumped, hugging herself as she looked up. When no rain fell and she was fairly certain that Kami-sama wouldn't pop out from the heavens brandishing lightning bolts, she lowered her gaze to the ground and then…and then…she began to cry.

My heart wrenched seeing her this way. I contemplated coming out of the shadows and letting her take comfort in my arms, but I think that would make her forget her sorrow _too_ fast in the onslaught of anger she would inevitably feel upon discovering I had followed her. 

__

"What is Kenshin so afraid of, anyway? Is he afraid that I cannot cope with a man having a past like his? Does he think so little of me that he has decided that I cannot understand? His life before…the Bakumatsu…Tomoe…am I such a child to him that he would never venture to help me understand? He was hitokiri…killed so many others that they seek revenge for his deeds. He constantly fears that his past will harm me and he has decided that he is not worthy of me…Kenshin, you idiot! Don't you know that it's for me to decide who is worthy of me or not?"

I withheld my sigh. Again with the "Kenshin, you idiot". My brows knotted. 

Oh, but Kaoru…you do not know what you want.

__

"He thinks I am too young to know what I want…"

It's as if she had replied to me.

__

"…he doesn't realize that just like the rest of them, I was forced to grow up faster than what was expected of me. The difference…is that I did it with a smile. I smiled through the pain. Is that so wrong? Maybe I shouldn't have. Maybe I should have done it with blood, and tears, like all the others. But…I suppose you had sheltered me, daddy. You did it out of love, I know. I am grateful. And perhaps I was too young to join the war. What would they do with a squirt like me in the Ishinshishi, ne? But I'm strong. You know that, don't you daddy? You know about the things the townspeople said after they found out you died?"

The townspeople…?

__

"They said I should get a husband real soon. That I should marry because I couldn't possibly survive by myself. Sixteen, and they said I should be married. Like hell! All those boys coming to call, bragging about what they could give me just so the little girl with the dojo would marry them. Feh! It was sickening, daddy! They promised me the moon and the stars as if the moon and stars were legally partitioned between the lot of them. What idiots! You don't know how many jerks I had to kick between the legs just to get them off our property."

Oro…those poor fools. I guess when it comes down to it, no man deserves a beating _there_, but Kaoru is never one to hold back on inflicting physical pain.

__

"When no man in their right mind would come near acidic little ole me, that's when the rumormongers really went on a blitz. Goodness! They had a field day! They judged me for my independence. They said I was an arrogant bitch for teaching kendo as if I wasn't a woman. They said I didn't want men, which wasn't so bad because I didn't want anything to do with the lot of males at the time, and then they topped it off with rumors about me teaching killers, and what not. It figures. I ought to tell them men aren't the only ones who can hold their own swords! Umm…I didn't mean anything by that, daddy. Hehe…"

What?!?! H-How dare they! How can they do that to Kaoru? How can they even think it? How can they--wha? Hold their own swords…ororororo!!

__

"Didn't get better when I adopted the pickpocket and the rooster-head, and I'm not even going to tell you what they said when I took in Kenshin. It's not polite to utter the things they talked about behind my back."

Ooooh! When I get my hands on those…those bastards! My Kaoru is the kindest soul in Japan. I will never allow anyone to say anything bad about her!

__

"You wouldn't believe how many customers Tae kicked out of her restaurant because she heard them talking about me like that. Tae would go on a rampage so many times that even I urged her to stop fighting with the customers. Her business shouldn't have to suffer because of me. Besides, it took me a while, but I realized that I don't care about what other people say. The only regard I seek to uphold is the ones of my friends. They know the truth, and they respect me for it. That's all that matters to me."

A smile crossed her lips amidst the tears on her cheeks. _"How funny that I have managed to displease the elders so much. Could you imagine how scandalized they would be if they found out Kenshin did the cooking and the laundry? Mou!"_

I suppose…doing the cooking and laundry isn't very appropriate for a hitokiri. Feh! Don't they know that some of the greatest chefs in China are men? And…and the best laundry men…are…are…

Well, that doesn't matter! I'm here to know about Kaoru! 

__

"The ones I care about…it is only their opinion that holds weight for me. If anything…those experiences…I wish Kenshin would realize that strength of character builds under different circumstances, so that he would believe that I have a way of understanding the depths of his pain, if I won't understand it all at once. I suppose…I would never fully grasp how it is to hold the sword that killed the one he cared for the most, but I am not afraid to listen. I am not afraid to know that pain, and because I will listen, maybe I can lessen the pain, if not share in it completely. Why is it so hard for him to believe?"

Why indeed? 

Because I have refused to believe. I want to see her as the pretty little girl. The fine crystal that should be kept in a glass case, to be looked upon and admired, when what I should have been doing was hold it in my hand to cherish it.

Strength of character builds under different circumstances, she had surmised. 

I…can't believe she knows that…in such a peaceful time as this. I can't believe I didn't realize it until I heard her think it. 

I…can't believe I'm such an IDIOT! 

She is…stronger and purer than anyone I know. Brave, fearless and kind beyond the requirements of God. She lost her parents at a young age, refused to marry for support and lived by herself. She challenged the Hitokiri Battousai not because defeating me would give her renown, nor did she seek vengeance. She simply could not stand the thought that I was hurting people, using her father's budo to boot. I loved her then, and I loved her even more when she asked me to _stay._ She said she didn't care about my past, when what she was really saying was that she was willing to be part of my future, whatever it brought her. She cares about now, and the future. To her, I am doing right. The happiest day of my life was when she took me in, unhampered by fear or repulsion. Then she saved Yahiko from a life of servitude with the Yakuza, risking her life for the strange ten-year-old boy who had picked my pocket. She accepted an ex-gangster who consistently ate off on her earnings. 

So many times she saved me from breaking my vow, my vow never to kill again. She used no physical force or sword skill. Her pure, concentrated spirit got me through everything without staining my hands anymore than they already are. Jin-eh, Shishio, Shogo…Enishi…it was her. 

She _is strong_. It doesn't matter that she would never know the torment I suffered. What matters is that she is willing to understand it, and that she can take that burden with me. 

I thought too little of Kamiya Kaoru…just like Tomoe said…

Not anymore. That has changed. 

How ironic that I saw the light amidst all this darkness.

Ah. These moody nights can sure make me dramatic, can't it?

The fact of the matter is, I still think I am unworthy of her, but Kaoru is right. It is for her to decide. 

Sometimes, the loopholes of philosophy makes life just a wee bit more bearable.

I can see Aoshi just killing me for even thinking that! Well, up yours Buddha Boy! If compromises are for the weak of will, then he can just call me a simpering, foolish, love-monkey. I'll probably deck him for it, of course, but it will be nothing the good doctor Megumi couldn't handle.

Kaoru stood up from her kneeling position and prepared to leave the graveyard.

__

"Mou! It's late!" She thought with a barely audible sigh. She wiped her face on the sleeve of her kimono and began her way.

Okay. Next problem. How do I trail her and get to the dojo ahead of her at the same time? Acrobatics will definitely be required.

I uncoiled a bit from my crouching position and heard a muscle on my backside snap.

Oww…For heaven's sake! I'm not _that_ old, am I? Alright, scratch the acrobatics idea. I don't want to incapacitate myself. I can just see myself as a doddering old man, leaning on my sword instead of a cane. Of course, my back would be bent over because all those Amakakeru Ryu no Hirameki moves have caught up on me. 

__

"When I was a yongun," I would say to a bunch of children with my age-worn voice. _"I could beat the tail out of ten men, de gozaru yo*Hack! Wheez! A-hack!* Nobody stood a chance in hell, de gozaru *Hack!* I'd give 'em all a hiyah! And a kiyah!"_ I'd swing my sword, forgetting it's the only thing supporting me and promptly fall facedown on the floor. 

An old Sano would nudge me with his foot. He'd be toothless from all the fights he got into when he was younger, bald except for a few white spikes still left on his head, a bachelor, and he still gambles. _"Hey, you putz! Get off the floor! Jou-chan wants you."_

"She does…? I-I'm right there, my sweet!!!"

Kaoru would come out, still beautiful in spite of the white hair on her once ebony head. _"Don't you 'my sweet' me, rurouni! It's been fifty years!!! I've had it with waiting! Are you going to marry me or aren't you?"_

"This unworthy one…*hack!*"

"Oh just forget it, Kenshin! You can't get it up anymore anyway!"

Oro! What a nightmare! I'd hope at least that I could ask her hand in marriage a lot sooner than fifty years!

Wait a minute. What's that? Ki I do not like.

"Well, lookee here! A pretty little girl all alone in the graveyard!"

I glared at the figure of a man, dressed in a cheap kimono ensemble, flanked by two more goons. 

I know…I should talk when it comes to clothes. I'm not exactly haute couture, but at this point, they're the lowest of the low, and not even this unworthy one would admit to be beneath them. They all held clubs, and I honestly wondered what they hoped to do with those flimsy things.

__

"Mou! Don't they ever learn?" Kaoru surmised in great irritation. She turned up her nose and I believe I have never seen Kaoru look haughtier. She was calm and collected. One thing was certain, she had done this before.

Well, whoever these morons are, they've made a mistake. Nobody lays a hand on my Kaoru if I can help it.

"How are your nuts, Shio-kun?" Kaoru asked with acidic sweetness. 

Oro! Kaoru sure knows where to hit a man!

The one she called Shio fidgeted. "I'll have you know you were lucky to get that hit in."

She gave a shrug and smiled. "Oh I don't know. I pretty much planned it well. Flip-turned…half-wedgie…then BAM! Right where it counts. Two in one, to be precise. You _do _have two of them, don't you?"

The men behind Shio began to snicker. Whatever version he told them, it certainly didn't involve a wedgie.

"Shut up!" Shio barked, his hand curling into a fist. "Tomboy like you ought to be put in her place!"

"Mou! I know perfectly well where my place is and it's not where you think I should be. Have you boys ever fought against a pissed off bitch with an umbrella? It's quite fascinating," Kaoru told them, going into stance. "Three against one…I'm flattered, Shio. Though I hardly think that's fair…for you, that is."

Kaoru could handle three unskilled men, that I am sure of, but I'd be damned if I let her go at it alone. Weirdoes, prepare to meet your maker.

I snapped my thumb against the hilt of my sword, and it gave a resounding click.

Kaoru's ears perked, and her eyes roved momentarily. _I'd know that sound…_

The men attacked and Kaoru instantly spun into action, taking out Shio in a split heartbeat.

While she was doing that, I flashed by and quite easily disposed of the two other men. The sound of crunching teeth was enough to satisfy me of their defeat. I sped back into the shadows, hoping she hadn't seen me.

Kaoru looked up from beating Shio and stared in wonder at the fallen men before her. She kept her stance, but her eyes roved from side to side. Finally, her brows knotted in irritation. "I know you're out there, Kenshin! So you can just quit hiding and come out!"

I gave a sigh. I could probably keep hiding, stick it out to the end, but that's just it, there would be no end to it unless I admit I had been here all along. Gingerly, I stepped into the moonlight.

Kaoru shook her head. "You are _so_ predictable…"

I tried for a rurouni smile. It almost always works. It functions in two ways. It either befuddles the person I am speaking to, or it turns them off. Whatever it does, it gets the job done. However, when it doesn't work…

"Don't you give me that smile of yours, Kenshin!" She said sternly, beginning to walk off. "I appreciate your help, but I could have handled them. More importantly, you're not supposed to be here! Have you never heard of _private time?_"

I blushed. I wonder how she would react if I told her that I've been nosing in on her privacy for the past week or so, but of course, that's a secret I would take to my grave. "I'm very sorry, Kaoru-dono, but when this unworthy one discovered you were leaving the dojo at night…" What exactly do I have to say? "What would you have me do?" I asked in helpless submission. It's the only way I could put it.

This seemed to have calmed her anger if not her annoyance. "It was the Sano thing, wasn't it? That's what tipped you off."

More than you know. "Yes, ma'am."

"Kenshin, you don't know how much I want to beat you to a pulp right now," Kaoru said, looking straight ahead of her along the path.

Better not say anything. When in doubt, shut-up!

"Now that you know," Kaoru said with a resigned sigh. "What are you going to do about it?"

"I'm just glad you are safe, Kaoru-dono. We will go home, and if you feel like going to the graveyard at night again, please tell this unworthy one," I replied. 

What? I'm not exactly going to tell her that I'm now ready to proclaim my love to her. Walking down the thug district… coming from the cemetery after having beaten three thugs to the ground…real romantic. 

I'd like to think I'm not _that_ much of an idiot. 

"There's a reason I didn't want anyone to know," Kaoru said in a melancholic tone. "I just needed to be alone in this. I really did. If I had gone during the day, you'd all know about it eventually. For me this is a three-day affair, and you would have known about it even if I didn't tell you. You wouldn't have let me go alone anyway, knowing you, Kenshin."

I stayed quiet. Kaoru knows me too well, I think.

"Besides," she went on. "It's too noisy during the day and how am I suppose to give my father a proper visit with all that racket? If they saw me crying all by myself, I know a few people who would gladly send me to the nuthouse."

"Kaoru-dono, I would have accom…"

"No, Kenshin. It was private," she said with finality. "You shouldn't have seen what you saw."

I wanted to tell her that on that note, she was completely wrong. Seeing her, hearing her like that, was exactly what my relationship with her needed: An acknowledgement of the depths. I had been so blinded by her radiance that I practically condemned her to the bliss I had thought she lived in. 

This face she keeps up…it is brought by unselfishness, and perhaps she is merely maintaining an image, like Sano had after he took up that job. Cute kenjetsu shihondai of Edo, raccoon-girl, light of our lives, it was all part of her image. From what I gathered of her account of the Revenge fiasco, Enishi had been given a dose of her sunshine as well. She was like Soujiro, smiling through the pain, only in a more pleasant and endearing way (that kid gives me the creeps, especially when my psychobabble was getting to him in Shishio's lair. I was like…ye gods! Now where did I put that straightjacket?).

Kaoru shouldn't have to be ashamed. She has too many things to be proud of. 

"Kaoru-dono…" What do I say in a situation like this? I'm glad I saw you like that because it has helped me to see into your very soul? Too…creepy…and with my luck, she'll think it was some sort of voyeuristic tendency on my part. To this day, I don't think she believes that it's an accident whenever I walk in on her bath. I think it's God's sick sense of humor, at my expense, again.

Darn those thugs! If they hadn't showed up, Kaoru wouldn't have known I was following her!

"What?" Kaoru asked when the silence stretched.

"F-Forgive me…for invading your privacy…"

When in doubt, shut-up!

XII: Himura Kenshin, Reporting for Duty

"Well, well, well…a meeting without me? Kenshin, I'm hurt," Sano said from the door of the sitting room. He wore the grin of the freeloader while he gave me, Aoshi and Yahiko each a look, then just like in everything else he did he swaggered towards our little tea party, sat himself down like a king and partook of the snacks liberally like he owned the place.

I really didn't mind, but Aoshi looked annoyed. I suppose that in spite of Misao's carefree manner, the Okashira of the Oniwabanshu hasn't gotten used to the lack of formality in the Kamiya dojo and all its residents. He should have been used to it by now, but then, Aoshi's sort of…well, anal, if you'll pardon the pun.

Yahiko immediately fell to stuffing his face lest Sano finish everything in sight.

"Well, Sanosuke," I replied, sipping my tea serenely. "The girls went out to get some foodstuff. I think Misao isn't done with her shopping either. We boys were left to fend for ourselves."

"Yeah, and ugly didn't give me anything to do, so I'm pretty much free for the rest of the afternoon!" Yahiko said with a grin, some food shooting out of his mouth.

Sometimes, I don't blame Kaoru for trying to install manners into the kid. "Don't talk when your mouth is full, Yahiko-kun," I said with a rurouni smile.

"Yes mother," Yahiko chimed.

My face suddenly began to hurt from smiling too much. Jeez! Won't these guys ever let up on the House-band jokes? I mean, I know I do the laundry and cooking and I kind of look like a girl, but fer cryin' out loud! I was sorely tempted to say "Five Hundred swings!" but I would most likely never live that down. Next thing you know, Yahiko would be calling me hag.

"So, Kenshin," Sano began, pouring himself some tea. "Mind telling me what you were doing trailing Jou-chan through town last night?"

Aoshi arched an eyebrow but said nothing.

I should have known. Of course Sano would know that. I'm not the only snoop around here. In fact, compared to the rest of them, I'm an amateur. 

"Hey! So I _did_ hear you and ugly coming in late last night!" Yahiko said with his bratty grin. "Did you guys go out on a secret date?"

I wish. "No," I replied. "I found out Kaoru-dono has been sneaking out at night for the past few days. This unworthy one merely followed to protect her."

"Did you make moves on her?" Sano asked.

Somebody who makes moves on someone in a graveyard has to have some serious mental problems. Fortunately for me, I'm not that far-gone. "Nothing like that. Like I said, I merely followed to protect her."

"And what did you find out, Himura Battousai?" Aoshi suddenly asked.

I just hate it when he becomes all sensitive, and in front of the others no less! I mean, honestly! Just because we're all men here, doesn't mean we have to go into the male bonding bit. If they start saying stuff about watching a Sumo match, I'm out of here. "What I found out will remain private." I said firmly.

"Sounds to me like you didn't find out anything, rurouni," Sano said bitingly.

What? Does he expect me to fall for his taunting? Sanosuke, you can't out-psychobabble THE master of psychobabble. Need your head shrunk? I'm the man. Aoshi tries to do it, but I think all his highfalutin words and abstract concepts have a tendency to put the listener at a loss. It may come in handy in a fight, come to that. Confusing the enemy works just as well as turning them into a psychological slush, but when it comes to getting friends to find themselves…keep out of reach of children.

"I refuse to divulge what I learned about Kaoru-dono," I responded. "Anyway, you may have already known those things about her, considering you're not blinded by self-worth issues like this unworthy one."

"Oooooh!" Yahiko gushed. "So you've decided to bust a move with ugly, haven't you?"

When did this kid become so perceptive? How did he come to that conclusion with what I've said? Deny everything for the moment, unless I want to find myself in the middle of a whirlwind of questions and people who can't possibly mind their own business if their lives depended on it. "This unworthy one will not 'bust a move', Yahiko-kun. This unworthy one has just come to realize some very important things, so I will take it slow."

"Feh!" Sano scoffed. "If you go any slower, you'll be eighty by the time you ask Kaoru out on a date."

A brief recollection of my musings last night did nothing to my efforts to ignore what Sano had said. "Oro! I hope I would be able to bust a move sooner than that!" 

I cannot believe I used 'bust a move' in such a manner. 

"Hey look Kenshin! There goes my kid! Oops! There goes my grandkids! Say Kenshin, have you asked ugly out yet?" Yahiko dramatized, causing himself and the rooster-head to crack up.

Ha-ha. Everybody's a comedian. Oh look, I'm dying of laughter. Ha-ha.

Thank God Aoshi's--

"Why did Battousai cross the road? To shirk from a date with Kamiya-san," Aoshi suddenly said without question, point or exclamation.

Yahiko and Sano stopped laughing to give him a tough-crowd stare. Aoshi simply sipped his tea.

All right, so everybody _is_ a comedian, and one of them is a very bad at it.

"Here's a tip, Aoshi. You're funnier when you're serious," Sano told him.

Aoshi shrugged. "Just trying to get with the conversation, Segara. When in Rome, do what the Romans do."

Well, that would certainly squeeze Sano's brains out. 

"Eh? You're not in Rome, moron! You're in Japan!" Sano told him, all superior like.

"Right. I shall take close note of that," Aoshi said calmly.

Yahiko started laughing again. I have no doubt in my mind that the boy understood the Rome thing. "Sano's right, Aoshi-san! You're funnier when you're not trying to be funny!"

"Thank you," Aoshi replied, then wonder of wonders, he gave a friendly smile.

Egad! 

Yahiko and Sano gasped. They weren't faking. They were sincere.

"W-What just happened here?" Sano asked in total uncertainty.

"When in Rome…"

Okay, that's it! I've had it! I've put it off for too long! I _have_ been shirking, like a complete coward! Obviously, the apocalypse is at hand and it's about time I seize myself some freakin' day. Kaoru isn't going to wait for me forever. One day, some dashing young man is going to walk through that dojo gate, proclaim undying love to Kaoru and he'd be too nice and worthy for me to beat up. 

I can do this! I will make arrangements. I will fix everything so it would be perfect. Kaoru and I will have the perfect night because I would know exactly what to say and how to say it! And do you know why? Because I can friggin' read her mind, that's what! 

The buck stops here! Tonight, I will ask Kaoru out on a date, and I'll be damned if I shirk this one!

"Kaoru-dono, would you like to go on a date with this unworthy one?" 

__

"Sure, in the next life maybe, when you've stopped calling me Kaoru with the dono!"

Oro…that wouldn't work. 

I looked at the mirror again and took another stance. "Kaoru-do…Kaoru…"

Good, good. Now keep going rurouni. "…dono…"

Dammit!

"Kaoru-d…Kaoru-do…dowww…"

Aaargh! It's hopeless! I've been at this for half an hour and I still could not get my proposal right! I've considered going to the yard to do the laundry, but I figured it would only turn me into a bigger sissy than I already am. 

I gave a sigh of frustration and looked at the image of myself in defeat. "Kenshin, you're a world class chicken." I put my hands up on my sides as if I were raising two handheld guns and pretended to shoot.

Speaking of poultry, how would Sano do this? 

__

"Yo babe! I got nothin' better to do! Whadda you say you let me futae your kiwami while you Ryou my Sou Sen?"

I'd be lucky if she just kicked me out of the dojo, with all my teeth missing. 

"I'm home!!!"

Oh God! 

Just ask her! No big deal! Dinner…maybe that play they have in the town theatre…goodnight. 

I think I had a dream like this. Yeah. Just like this, except in that dream, I didn't crap my pants.

"Kenshin?"

Hohhhh! She's looking for me! I can't let her see me like this! A nervous wreck!

"A-A minute, if you please!" I called back.

I took a deep, cleansing breath, whipped my neck from side to side and loosened my shoulders. No need to panic. Just say the words…

Finally collecting myself, I stepped out of my room and answered her summons properly. 

"Kaoru-dono, you called this unworthy one?" I asked her with my usual smile. 

Her thoughts greeted me instantly._ "No, I did not call the 'unworthy one', I called Kenshin. There ought to be a difference!"_

Oro! That would bring my personality count to three! 

"Misao bought us a lobster," Kaoru said, holding up a basket. "Can you cook it or should I let Misao take over?"

Ah. Cooking. Just what the doctor ordered! However…it would probably have the same effect as the laundry, which would not do at all. Besides, I only know how to make sushi out of lobster. From the size of the basket, I think it deserves more attention than that. "This unworthy can only make maki out of it. Maybe it is best to let Misao-dono be head-chef tonight, and I will only help, ne?"

"Oh, don't be silly, Himura," Misao chirped, sweeping the basket from Kaoru's hands. "You've been doing all the house stuff all week. Let me do my share of the work and you can relax a little."

Well, that's mighty nice of Misao. If anything, the weasel-ninja could be the most considerate of the lot, if not the quietest…

"Aoshi-sama! How would you like the lobster done? Would you want the meat fried or steamed? Steaming will take longer though. Maybe a nice miso? I don't think you've tried my recipe of that. It's delish! I think I can do one of those cold lobster deals, but then, that would be like sushi, and what the heck am I cooking in place of Himura for then, ne? I can do a mixed dish, though, with lots of vegetables! What do you think, Aoshi-sama?"

"Anything will be fine, Misao," Aoshi replied, a tad wearily.

"Excellent choice!" She whooped, running to the kitchen.

Yahiko scratched his head. "Did I miss something here?"

Beats me. Who knows what world Misao is in?

"Umm…Kaoru-dono," I said meekly. "This unworthy one would like to speak to you in private."

Kaoru looked at me in surprise, and her thoughts went with it consistently. 

From the corner of my eye, I can see the rest trying to eavesdrop. 

I swear, these people have nothing going on in their lives to keep their noses out of other people's business. Giving them an anxious frown, I gestured for Kaoru to step out with me in the yard.

__

"Omigod…"

Eh? What was that for, Kaoru? I won't hurt you or anything…

__

"Is he going to leave me again?"

"No!" I piped out without thinking, which, of late is a common occurrence, I noticed. I think I am destined to roam this earth, not as a rurouni but as a major moron.

"Kenshin! Is there something wrong?" Kaoru gasped, surprised by my outburst.

"Err…K-Kaoru-dono, this unworthy one would just like to…I mean, that is…I was wondering…"

__

"W-What is he getting at? Oh no! He IS going to leave! He's trying to say he's going to leave! I can't stand this! What do I say? What will I do? Oh, Kenshin, don't you know that this is going to utterly kill me? Why do you keep doing this to me? I know I'm just a raccoon-head, but even a raccoon-head like me has a heart! This is too much on my well being. I will go completely nuts! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOD!"

"Kaoru-dono!" I practically exclaimed in panic. "Would you like to have this unworthy one for dinner tomorrow night?" I spat out. 

Her mind went blank. "Excuse me?" she asked in true confusion.

W-What did I say? 

Oh CRAP!

"I mean…" Ohhhh! Get this right for once, rurouni! "This unworthy one would like to have you for dinner…"

"WHAT!?!?"

Oh man! That was even worse! "Th-That's not what I meant, Kaoru-dono! What I was saying…"

"Spit it out already!!!" She ordered me.

"I would be very honored if you would have dinner with me," I finally managed. Apparently, I need a kick in the head to get things done right.

Her mind went blank again. She stared, saying and thinking nothing. She merely blinked.

I have put her in a state of catatonia. Figures. 

When she didn't say anything for almost a minute, I began to fidget. She shouldn't be this surprised. I mean, I know I've been quite the procrastinator, but it's not like I've accomplished some death-defying feat, ne?

__

"Kenshin…asked me out…"

Ah. Her brain is beginning to work again.

__

"Kenshin…"

I looked at her expectantly.

__

"…you…"

Eh?

__

"…IDIOT! WHAT TOOK YOU SO DAMN LONG?!?"

Ororororo! 

"I would be glad to join you for dinner…" She said quietly.

She…said yes…aaaaaaaahhhhhh! 

This is great! This is fantastic! This is going to be perfect! Like I said, I couldn't go wrong with me knowing what she's thinking. She and I will have a great time, and then maybe, just maybe, I can finally find the courage to tell her how I feel. 

"Is seven o'clock alright for you, Kaoru-dono?" I asked, holding down the urge to jump for joy.

"Yes, Kenshin. I will be ready by then," she replied with a nod. _Rurouni, you should have done this a long time ago._

I should have. Forgive an aging baka.

I think my rurouni smile was never more radiant. I watched her walk back into the house and with my super senses, I heard people scuffling from the inside just before she slid the shoji open. They had probably been listening, which was just as well. Beats having to tell Sano and the others.

You've come a long way, rurouni. Don't you dare blow it.

__

"Hello Kenshin."

I'm dreaming again…no, dreaming true. Hello Tomoe.

"I am very proud of you, Kenshin."

Is that so? 

"Yes, very proud. You finally got up the courage to discover Kamiya-san's true strength. Do you still think her so…shallow?"

I never thought she was shallow! Just…innocent.

"Idiot-dear, she will always be innocent, but because of that, you made the mistake of thinking her incapable of understanding the brutal truths of life. That means you thought she was shallow."

But--

"Shush!"

I was just--

"Zip it!"

There was--

"Shut up, rurouni!"

I gave a sigh. Aye captain…

"I heard that."

I tried my best to smile brightly. I suppose my efforts were ignored.

"I didn't come here to laud you, Kenshin. That was just a side trip. I came here because it's time."

Eh? Time for what? Am I going to die or something? 'Cause you know, if that's the case…it was REAL CRUMMY of you to make me go through all that trouble then kill me just when I finally got to ask Kaoru out on a date!

"Oh, calm down, Kenshin. I didn't come here to take your soul. What I meant was…that little gift I had for you, its use is expired."

Expired? W-What do you mean expired.

"It means what it means. It's finished, kaput! Did you think you'd have it forever? Goodness, I'm not about to rob Kaoru-san of the chance to keep a tight collar on you when you get married. A husband knowing the thoughts of his wife just wouldn't do at all! Now if you'll just give it to me…"

No! Y-You can't! I still need it! I still--

"Really, Kenshin. Don't be greedy. You've had the gift for a full two weeks, even longer. I should think that's enough time," Tomoe said in a tolerant tone.

You mean I only had two weeks to do what I was suppose to do?

"Well, why do you think I was pressuring you? You know I never do things without purpose. Even my marriage to you was for SOMETHING, especially at the start of it."

I frowned. That's not funny.

"Alright, bad example. But the fact of the matter is, it's time for me to get back the gift. It's been given, and it's not like I'm really taking it away. It was sort of like a lease, and now your usury rights have been withdrawn. In that sense, you're still special, Kenshin. Now, let me just…"

W-wait! Can't I have an extension? Just for one more day!

"Sorry, anata-baka."

Please!

"Kenshin, that's not possible. I don't want any trouble. Just hand it over nice and slow."

Noooooo! I want to keep my gift for just a little while longer! 

I think I stamped my foot for emphasis, like a five-year-old.

"Alright, have it your way!" Tomoe said sternly.

Really…?

Blazing arc…like a bokken…heading straight for me…

Oh crapper.

SLAM!

To be continued…

Author's Note: Sorry this took so long. I wanted to release sooner, but the evil monster Writer's Block caught me unawares. I'm okay now. Next chapter will be faster.


	7. Part 13 to 15

Author's Note: Jeez, I just couldn't shut up, can I? So, how am I going to go about this? Kenshin has asked Kaoru for a date…they will go out and yay…they're together forever! Well…

I DON'T THINK SO!!! First off, Kenshin has zero time to prepare for it. Yes, you've noticed too? Second, where's he going to get the money for this shin-dig? Third, he's lost his gift. This is Part 13 after all, and you know what they say about the number 13…Anyway, this also includes Part 14 and 15, so it's not all so bad.

What's going to happen to our rurouni? Oh, my poor, poor Ken-san. Battousai…come over here so I can give you a hug. There, there now…anna-neko has big plans for you…but first! (Goes into Jim Carrey's "The Mask" mode) No, I will not give you a wedgie…however…(*hentai grin*)

Eh he…just a little fantasizing going on there….

Some reference is made to **Sekihara Tae's** "Lessons In Life". Highly recommended. I'll the mark the reference with these convenient thingies [ ]. Wherever you are, Tae-dono, I hope you don't mind, because I think your piece is wonderful.

RK isn't mine…but Watsuki-sama…you better give me that life-size Battousai doll or it's copyright stealing time BABY!!

On with the insanity.

****

Mind of the Woman

Part XIII: Panic Button (*Press…Buzz…Eject!*)

"Noooooooo!!"

Yes, I am aware that I have just screamed so loudly from my futon that the whole house will probably come running to my room. But dammit! 

Tomoe, why'd you have to go and do something like that? Of all the unlucky things…did she really have to take the gift from me now?

The inevitable sound of running footsteps came from outside my room while I sat up, panting on my bedroll. 

Ohhhhh! F this! And F that! This is just so effing rotten! This is so typical of Kami-sama! Playing with little ole Battousai again. 

My shoji door slid open hurriedly and Kaoru stumbled into the room, somewhat breathless. At least I didn't wake up Yahiko. That boy can sleep through an earthquake, I tell you.

"Kenshin!" Kaoru cried with a gasp. "Are you alright?"

I looked at her blankly. 

Nothing. Her thoughts have gone quiet. I couldn't hear! I couldn't hear a blessed thing! 

Amidst my despair, I did a double take and got a good look at her. Even with her sleep-disheveled hair and rosy morning face, she still looked fabulous. 

Well, I suppose it gets that way when a person's in love. Kaoru could be in a potato sack and I'd still go bonkers over her. But then of course, with her loosened yukata, I couldn't quite keep my mind on spuds, can I?

Blushing time. Yes, I did look away. I'm_ NOT _a pervert! At least, not when I can help it.

Hey! I'm a guy too, contrary to what other people think. 

"Kenshin?" Kaoru asked, edging closer. "Was it a nightmare?"

Yes. It was a total nightmare. Tomoe had just taken back the gift. Like a TOY she took it back! 

"F-Forgive me, Kaoru-dono," I said, keeping my eyes pasted to the hands on my lap. "This unworthy one did not mean to wake you. I had a bad dream, but I'm alright now."

She sighed, anxiety crossing her face. "Do you want to talk about it, Kenshin? It might help," she suggested.

Oh man…what am I going to say now? I ought to distract her. That's easy enough. "Umm…Kaoru-dono, your yukata…"

"Eh?" She looked at herself. "Oh! Umm…p-pardon me…"

It worked like a charm. She stood up, red-faced and pulled her yukata closer around her. 

"I'll just be getting ready to train in the dojo. Y-You can find me there in a few minutes if you need me," she prattled hastily, moving to the door to leave my room. 

It's true. It's so true. The gift is gone! I heard nothing from her thoughts. Not a shred of a surmise.

"Of course, Kaoru-dono…" I replied dejectedly.

What's a rurouni to do? I thought it was going to be the perfect date…wait a minute…

Auuuuuuugh! I don't have any money! And I haven't the slightest idea where to take Kaoru! Oh, of all the…this is just great! I just had to jump the gun, didn't I? Suddenly, the idea that we'd go from dinner to a play is just plain idiotic! How are we going to go from one place to another and get there on time? Sprint?

I can see it now…

__

"Kenshin…*pant!*…don't run so fast! We're not all Hiten Mitsurugi Masters…*gasp!*"

"Kaoru-dono, I am very sorry…but we already missed act one! Here…let me carry you…"

Hmm…might not be such a bad idea…oh, who am I kidding?! Of course I couldn't do that! 

Kenshin, you're really in for it now!

Okay, calm down…I obviously need help.

Who to ask…

Sano…umm…well…he's good at moral support…umm…yeah….I'll need that as well.

Then there's…do I dare? It's not like he'll take it against me or anything like that. He's the one who said the tension between Kaoru and I causes a racket in the scope of his cosmos or something like that. 

__

"Aoshi-sama…I need your help…"

"Himura Battousai, it is my mission in life to assist you in your pursuit of Kamiya-san. I was born for it."

"Really? Truly?"

"NOT!"

I guess that's the worse thing he could do. Not much harm in asking him. If he rejects me, I'll sic Misao on him. 

That man…talk about tension. His relationship with Misao is hanging by a very fragile and taut strand of hair. Maybe he ought to look into _that_ as the cause of all the Zen-idealist noise. 

Of course, there's that matter of swallowing my pride, but I've swallowed it before. I could certainly do it again for Kaoru. 

This is going to be a very hectic day. I can tell already.

And a good morning to you too, Battousai.

Aoshi rubbed his hand on his chin as he pondered quietly. He arched an eyebrow in the direction of Sano who gave a non-committal shrug.

Shinomori's been doing it for the last five minutes. Maybe I shouldn't have scheduled this pow-wow after breakfast. Food has been proven to make people lethargic. I didn't have much of a breakfast though. Too nervous, especially with Kaoru sitting across from me on the table. What little I had was now oddly restless in my stomach.

Apart from my churning insides, the slow response of the others…it's quite all right, really. I can wait for long periods of time. It's just…I'm dying here. Can't he…think a bit faster? I only have ten hours left to get this entire thing going. I felt a pang of perturbation wrack me again. Yahiko's voice from the dojo counting his swings was turning into "One Hundred and ten…almost time for the date Kenshin…One Hundred Eleven…you're SO not ready for this Kenshin…One Hundred Twelve…you're going to screw this up Kenshin…"

I sipped some of my tea to stay my impatience and growing unease.

"So you want to have dinner _and _go to the play at the opposite side of town. A play in which you haven't purchased admission to, which creates another problem because you don't have any money. To top it all off, you don't even have any money for dinner in the first place," Aoshi said.

If I wanted a synopsis of my troubles, I certainly didn't need Aoshi for that. 

Man, he's got that long and winding thing down pat. 

I gave a nod. No use in running off at the mouth.

"The way I see it," Aoshi continued. "You ought to borrow some money, in which case I can very well figure out that you're going to be borrowing it from me."

I feel like a teenager. Borrowing money for a date. 

"On the other hand…" said Aoshi. "I believe Sano owes you a bundle of cash…and since he already has a job…"

His words got my brain to go, "Clank! Wizz! Bop!" The Okashira is right! Sano owes me…I don't know how much he owes me but it's enough to get me on three dates! Why didn't I think of this before?

The man's a genius!

Sano's eyes widened. "Hey! Kenshin's already written them off as bad debts! Right, Kenshin?"

The way I glared at him would have put a banker to shame. 

"What the--!" Sano cried in panic. "What are you looking at me like that for?"

"Cough it up, _de gozaru yo!"_ I said, maintaining my glare. "Desperate times call for desperate measures…"

"You know Himura Battousai, you should even charge him interest," Aoshi suggested, an amused smile on his face.

"Shut up! Don't you go giving him any more ideas!" Sano yelled at Aoshi.

I sighed. "Maa…Sano, if you're able, just give me enough for tonight and I won't even care for the rest of it. We'll call it quits after this, ne?" 

I'm not much of a businessman, and god knows I need the money, but I'm willing to cut deals at this point. I prefer the idea of collecting from a now-liquid Sano rather than loan money from Aoshi. If Kaoru finds out I indebted myself to go out with her, I don't know if she'll feel sorry for me, or give me a good scolding. 

Sano smirked and Aoshi frowned.

"Himura Battousai, you're not as good with your coffers are you are with your sword," Aoshi remarked.

Sano turned to Aoshi in irritation. "You know what, Shinomori? You talk way too much for someone who doesn't talk most of the time."

"I talk when necessary," Aoshi simply replied.

Sano waved a hand at him in disregard. "Whatever. Kenshin, it's a deal. I'll be in charge of your finances for tonight," he said gallantly.

Aoshi smirked. "How very magnanimous of you, rooster-head. Battousai, milk him for every penny he's got. There's this really expensive restaurant at the edge of town…"

"Hey! Who appointed you negotiator anyway?"

I really ought to just sit back and relax at the rate these two are going, but then, when have I ever done that? Besides, my insides seem to be going haywire at the moment. My guts are cringing.

"Maa…maa…" I interjected. "Shinomori-san, this unworthy one has no intention of abusing Sano's generosity. A nice but reasonably priced restaurant will do for the time being. Something between _Akebeko_ and _Taicho_."

That seemed a good range. Taicho is perhaps the high-class restaurant Aoshi had in mind earlier, and in all honesty, even with Sano's rather long-list of debts to my own measly treasury I couldn't possibly afford it, and neither could he, for that matter.

Aoshi gave a shrug. "Have it your way, Battousai. _Sakura_ might do for your limited resources."

He just had to rub it in, didn't he? Well, _sorree_. Not all of us have a thriving spy business. 

"That will do," I replied, doing away with the sarcastic retorts with martyr-like tolerance.

Sano seemed okay with it.

"Then there's the matter of the play," Aoshi said, going about the whole thing point by point. "The theater happens to feature _Kokoro no Miko_, a very romantic drama about a traveler and a woman he left behind…"

Sano and I choked on our tea.

__

Maiden of the Heart indeed. 

The Gods…they insist on tormenting me. Yes, they probably have dolls in the Kami-plane, one of which looks like me, and they move it around in scenarios that amuse them. 

"Are you kidding?" I asked incredulously. 

Aoshi raised an eyebrow. "Do I look like I'm kidding?"

Sano began to laugh. I see nothing funny about this situation. 

"This is great!" Sano exclaimed, rubbing his palms together. 

I shook my head to clear my thoughts and ran a weary hand down my face. "Great? Sanosuke, do you realize what a play like that could do to Kaoru-dono? She'll…she'll…"

"Be totally moved!" Sano finished for me. "When chicks can relate to something they see, they turn into putty. She'll be all over you…in a good way! You wouldn't believe what an emotional ride like that could do to woman in the hands of a man."

"Oro! This unworthy will take not take advantage of Kaoru-dono for _anything!_ I have no intention of turning Kaoru-dono into an emotional mush!" I exclaimed, my face going red with indignation. "And…and a play like that…what if she realizes just how angry she was when I left for Kyoto? What if she decides to beat the heck out of me? I don't think the play is such a good idea anymore, de…"

"Battousai," Aoshi calmly interrupted my ranting. "As much as I'd hate to agree with the rooster-head, I must admit that to an extent, his view of the matter has some merit."

Merit? Merit? This isn't a business proposal! What the hell merit are they talking about? "Are you both out of your minds?" I asked incredulously. 

"Breathe, Battousai. Just breathe," Aoshi told me.

Breathe, he says. I'll breathe him one!

I think my hands began to form a circle of what was a perfect fit of his neck. He better start explaining soon.

Aoshi looked at me thoughtfully. "Battousai, have you and Kamiya-san ever sat down and talked about Kyoto?"

Suuuuure we have, Aoshi…IF YOU LIKE HAVING A TOOTH YANKED OUT WITH A WRENCH!

I think I actually let out a growl. Totally involuntary on my part. 

"I take it you haven't," Aoshi reiterated for me. "In that case, this will be a good opportunity to broach the subject in a non-hostile environment. From what I've been gathering from you and Misao…"

"Misao-dono?" I suddenly asked. "You have input from Misao-dono? Kaoru-dono tells her things. What did Misao-dono tell you?"

"Jeez, Kenshin," Sano muttered. "Pop a vein, why don't cha…cool it!"

Aoshi merely raised an eyebrow. "Are you going to listen, Battousai, or are you just going to keep on pounding on the both of us?"

Boy, would I like to pound on them, but I kept quiet. Aoshi seems awful sure of himself. I can trust the guy's instincts after all. 

Aoshi nodded slightly in approval of my acquiescence. "As I was saying, from what I've gathered from…external sources, this Kyoto thing ought to be talked about already. It's festered enough. You should have it out with Kamiya-san…"

"Now you're talking," Sano said with an impish grin. "Don't forget to put some tongue into it, Kenshin."

I glared at the rooster-head.

Aoshi gave one of his displeased frowns. "_Not_ in the way you're thinking, you sexual-frustrate. What I mean is it's about time you faced this subject head-on, Battousai. Quit running away from it. I'm sure Kamiya-san has many questions, and leaving them unanswered will only give her more reason to feel hurt."

Merit…damn! I still hate it when the zombie is right. 

"Fine," I grumbled reluctantly. "If you say this play will be healthy for my relationship with Kaoru-dono, then alright, we'll go see it."

Sano laughed again. 

Is he on something? My eyes roved suspiciously to the pot of tea.

Sano began to speak amidst his chortling in a strangely familiar high-pitched voice. "Take this play with lots of fluids then call me in the morning, ne Ken-san?"

What the--! "Hey! I'd appreciate it if you don't mock me, if you please! I'm nervous enough as it is!"

"Kenshin," Sano said with a wide grin and a shake of his head. "This isn't a test. Lighten up, will you?"

How could I possibly tell them that a lot of my nervousness stemmed from the fact that I had been counting so much on reading her mind that I've practically fallen apart at the brutal reality that I no longer can? I wouldn't even be able to blame them for NOT understanding.

Life can be so cruel to _sessha_.

"So far, dinner's covered, the play is a done issue…I'll have one of my men get you the tickets, Battousai…" Aoshi summed. "Finally, there's the matter of transportation."

I blinked. "Transportation? Goodness…" When does it end? 

"Let me remind you that the one financing this shin-dig is a total tightwad, Shinomori," Sano pointed out, the humor gone from his eyes. "And even if I'm not, which I can't stress enough that I am…why do you think I haven't gotten myself new duds? Even if I do love this jacket, doesn't mean I can't get another one in _exactly_ the same design, but I don't anyway. Unlike _some_ people, I keep close tabs on my moolah. Pretties don't just grow out of the ground, you know. Ain't got a money tree. I don't even have a money _bush_. If you're going to start throwing extravagant ideas…"

"Rooster-head, _I get it_," Aoshi told him loftily. "You're cheap. We know that now. _Thank you_ for sharing that, but what do you expect Battousai to do? Carry Kamiya-san on piggy back while they go from one end of the town to another?"

It was so close to my own musings this morning that I felt my stomach twitch a bit more insistently. I swear I'm getting an ulcer. I groaned silently as they argued.

Sano scoffed. "What's wrong with piggy back? It'll get Jou-chan's arms _and_ _legs_ around him. I'd say that's a good thing."

Oro…I'm not even going to respond to that. It's too vulgar.

More groaning. I was already feeling some pain in my gut.

Aoshi looked extremely annoyed. "I don't know how Megumi-san can stand such an pervert like you. Rooster-head, I urge you to climb out of your proverbial chicken coop and listen to reason. Battousai simply cannot do without a carriage. I know people who can commission one in spite of such short notice, and yes, I can get one cheap, just the way you like it. If you do not trust my judgement, then come with me when I deal for it."

"Humph! I just might do that, Shinomori," Sano said. "I can't believe I'm doing this for the red-headed idiot…yo, Kenshin. You all right? You're looking a little pale."

"Ouch…" I hissed. Can too much anxiety really cause this much suffering? 

I hugged my mid-section and my watery eyes spun. 

"Er…he doesn't look good, Shinomori," Sano said, inching a bit away from me.

"Breathe Battousai…"

Nope. No can do. 

Black out.

__

I'm drowning!!!! In a sea of what I call my pathetic life.

Gak! The water has just found its way into my nasal passages…goodbye world…ouch…water in your nose hurts…OWW! I am NOT kidding!

*Sputter!*

SLAP!

Oro! Now my face stings. What kind of sea is this?

"Damn! You didn't have to hit him _that_ hard," came Sano's voice.

"Battousai can handle it, rooster-head. Trust me," Aoshi replied in an unruffled tone. "I've hit him harder than that."

I'm not at sea, and I'm not drowning.

I opened my eyes.

Oh, but I'm most assuredly drenched, courtesy of Sano, if the pail he held was any indication. 

I gingerly rose on my elbows and before I could say anything, the back of Aoshi's hand hurtled towards me, catching me right smack on the other side of my face.

"Oro!" I cried, swinging to the direction of the hit. 

"Oh, you're awake," Aoshi observed flatly.

Holding my dishonored cheek, I glared at him. "What's the big idea?" I demanded.

"You passed out," Sano explained. "Shinomori said it was something you ate combined with suppressed neuroticism, whatever that means."

"Indigestion," I muttered. "You should have called Megumi-dono. I'm no expert but I think she would have done a better job. I couldn't tell if you were waking me up or trying to kill me." I rose to my feet carefully and squeezed the water from my clothing.

"Well, it worked, didn't it?" Sano responded, disposing of the pail.

Oddly, yes. I actually feel better. I really shouldn't say so. Too dangerous. Both of them might get some lame-brained idea about becoming doctors. 

"Why _didn't _you summon Megumi-dono?" I asked out of curiosity.

"I was going to," Aoshi replied. "But the rooster-head raised a good point that to summon Megumi-san would mean that Kamiya-san would find out what has happened to you, and because we know that she rivals you in the worrywart department, she might order you off to bed and insist that the date be postponed. As you know, we all feel that you have taken long enough in asking her out. Knowing you, it's going to take an eternity before you get the balls to ask Kamiya-san again. Besides, if Misao finds out I fumbled it for you, she will kill me."

I really am date impaired.

However…what was it he said about Misao? Aoshi doesn't want to displease Misao, eh? Well, that's a relief. For a while I thought I was the only one henpecked around here. 

"Does weasel-girl know you're afraid of her?" Sano asked Aoshi.

Aoshi's face soured. "I'm not afraid of her. I just prefer not to upset her, that's all."

I'm not even going to tell him that he just changed the words. 

These strong silent types stress themselves out way more than necessary. Maybe _he_ ought to be splashed with water.

Surprisingly, Sano decided to drop Aoshi's issues with Misao and turned to me. "Look here buddy. This date, you're obviously falling apart just thinking about it. Why don't you leave everything to me and Shinomori here…"

"I do not recall volunteering to act as Battousai's Date Coordinator," Aoshi said with a scowl.

"You did when you _volunteered me_ to pay for it Shinomori, now quit complaining," Sano told him. "You're also the one who went with carriages and what not."

"But Sanosuke," I began, fidgeting in my place. "I should do _something_. You're not seriously suggesting that I just go and do the laundry, cook and prepare the bath of Kaoru-dono the whole day, are you?"

Sano shrugged. "Why not? It relaxes you, don't it?"

I looked at him like he was crazy. "But it's MY date!" That and the fact that I am entrusting the logistics of this to someone in the likes of Sano…well, Aoshi's with him, but…it's Sano who has the cash, something I didn't count on. Even under Aoshi's expert supervision…

"Kenshin, don't worry so much. It will be fine," Sano told me, pushing me towards the door by the shoulders. "Frankly, I'm doing this because I owe you more than cash. This is a payback in more ways than one. I don't know what drives Shinomori though."

"It's spiritual. You wouldn't understand," Aoshi muttered. 

"You're right. I don't associate much with spooks," Sano said.

"I am not talking about _ghosts_ rooster-head."

"Shinomori, exactly how stupid do you think I am? Wait, don't answer that."

"I was going to, in accurate detail."

"Look here, you obsessive compulsive zombie…"

I can feel my stomach churning already.

I groaned. I need my laundry. If I have to listen to them…I can't believe I'm letting _those two_ get my gig together. They only agreed on two things, one of which will force me to address an issue I am not sure I'm ready to address with Kaoru, while the other involved splashing and slapping. 

I am doomed.

Part XIV: Dinner

I looked at myself in the mirror and wondered briefly if what I was wearing was good enough for her. My clothing never really bothered me before. I was completely satisfied with my ratty pink gi and worn out hakama. But right now, I suddenly don't feel presentable.

I'm sure Kaoru would look stunning. I always admired her taste in kimonos, and she ties an obi so expertly. At that thought, [I vaguely recalled something Hiko said about women who tie intricate knots on their obi and how it was an indication of how good they are with their hands…]

NOT GOING INTO THAT!

Now, I'm only aiming _not_ to look like her serving boy. 

I haven't worn this get up in ages. Dark blue gi and gray hakama…I never wore it without a katana and wakazashi before, nor without the arm guards.

Feels weird. 

It's almost seven. The play will be at nine. My stomach did another flip.

If I pass out in the middle of dinner, I'll kill myself.

I hooked my sakabatou in my sash and grabbed the package I had so painstakingly wrapped earlier. I secured the play tickets in the pocket of my sleeve and made sure it wouldn't fall out. Having gathered everything I needed, I knew it was show time.

Taking a deep breath, I headed out of my room to get Kaoru.

Aoshi was out on the porch and he gave me the once over.

I raised an eyebrow. "Well?" 

"Glad to know you didn't go with the purple socks," Aoshi said without expression.

Is that all he can say? That he was glad I didn't go with the purple socks?

Grinding my foot on my already battered pride, I cleared my throat and asked him the question that's been bugging me for the past half-hour. "Do I look okay?"

"You look presentable, Battousai," he replied.

I guess that's all I need to know. 

Misao's head popped out of Kaoru's bedroom door. She grinned at Aoshi then looked at me. "Wow, Himura. Vava-voom."

Definitely a good sign.

"Just a minute, though," Misao said, coming out and sliding the door close behind her. She approached me and smiled. "Get on your knees, Himura. I'm going to make one minor adjustment."

Eh? What is she going to do?

Without waiting for me to comply, she slammed her legs behind my knees and I promptly fell to the floor.

"M-Misao-dono!" I gasped as she got behind me. "What--?"

I felt her tug at my hair and my roots practically screamed for mercy. 

"Ouch!" I hissed, trying to look at her.

She steadied my head then continued to pull at my hair. "Hold still. This will only take a second."

What the heck am I supposed to do? 

I let her work on me, just to get it over with. It didn't take her long, and when she stepped back to survey her work, she nodded in appreciation.

"Hunkalicious, Himura. _Now_ you're ready," Misao said.

Where does she get these terms? More importantly, what did she do?

I gingerly touched my hair and discovered that she had raised my ponytail high on my head. Great, now I really look like Battousai. Maybe I should throw in my yellow eyes just to complete the effect.

"I'll go get Kaoru!" Misao said, jumping excitedly. "She'll knock your socks off, Himura. Prepare yourself."

Thaaat's just wonderful. Give me a nervous breakdown. Go ahead. 

I sighed and got to my feet. "I bet she'll look fantastic," I muttered to Aoshi. "I don't deserve to have such a ethereal woman. Maybe this was a mistake…"

"Battousai, if you don't shut up, I will boot you to the next Bakumatsu," Aoshi told me through grit teeth. "Sano and I worked all day to get you this far. Don't turn chicken on us now."

That's the most emotion he's shown in weeks. That's enough to make me follow his orders.

"You have reservations at _Sakura_ and the tab's been taken cared of," Aoshi told me. "Rooster-head didn't want you to overspend, so he kind of pre-ordered."

That sounded like the cheapskate rooster-head I know.

The shoji doors opened.

Kaoru stepped out, and you can guess what happened to me.

My insides turned summersaults and the groan manifesting it that should have reverberated through me turned into an embarrassing squeak. I teetered slightly like a pendulum and Aoshi had to steady me from behind.

Kaoru looked like a princess. Her kimono was mostly blue, except from calf to ankle, which was white. The rich fabric was accentuated with silver butterflies. Her obi was a perfect combination of pastel colors, and I'm not even going to go into how intricate the knot was. The simple twists of her hair were made elegant by pearly beads wound around some locks. 

She's so beautiful that I think I'm going to die. 

"We match, Kenshin," she said with a blush of her cheeks.

Oro…she shouldn't blush like that…she shouldn't…

"You're drooling," Aoshi grumbled in my ear.

It brought me to my senses in an instant. "S-Shall we go?"

She nodded and walked ahead.

I'd give anything to know what she's thinking right now. 

"The carriage is outside, Battousai," Aoshi said to me.

Kaoru looked over her shoulder at us. "There's a carriage?" Surprise evident in her voice.

"Yes, ma'am," I replied, trying to muster a smile. "Is that alright?"

"Of course it's alright, Kenshin," she replied, somewhat dazed. "I just didn't expect…"

Neither did I, I wanted to tell her, but that wouldn't do at all. I should at least be in top form even if my system was in danger of shutting down unheeded. 

"Have a great time!" Misao cried cheerfully from the porch. 

We waved back and I think I heard Misao tell Aoshi, "Our little Battousai is all grown up now…"

Maybe it should have been funny or something.

"What's that, Kenshin?" Kaoru asked, pointing gingerly at the package in my hand.

I grinned as I led us out of the gate. "It's a surprise."

"Mou!" Was all she said. 

I saw the carriage for the first time and I almost gasped upon seeing that it was one of the nicest carriages I've ever seen. The parts looked new, the paint still glossy. The coachman was dressed in black, and from the looks of it, he was tall and lanky. His brown hair was slicked back with some kind of oil. He looked decent enough.

There was even a footman who opened the door, motioning to assist us inside. Kaoru stepped in and settled herself. How in the world was Sano able to afford this?

"Do you know where we're going?" I asked the driver.

He turned to me and grinned. "Of course, good sir. We were just talking about it this morning."

My eyes bugged out as I realized that the coachman was none other than Segara Sanosuke and the footman was Tsunan, his ex-Sekihoutai friend. Sano had changed his voice and diction perfectly, perhaps to deceive Kaoru if not me. 

Sure enough, Tsunan was leering at my Kaoru as he waited for me to go inside.

"K-Kaoru-dono, will you give me a second? There's something I have to discuss with the driver," I explained.

"Sure Kenshin. I'm fine right here," she replied, smiling as she examined the luxurious interior.

I pushed the carriage door close and pulled Tsunan by his collar so I could talk to both him and Sano.

"Sano, do you even know how to drive a carriage?" I demanded in a whisper. "And what's this guy doing here? I haven't even stepped into the carriage and he's ogling Kaoru-dono already!"

"I didn't know I couldn't look, Himura," Tsunan huffed. 

"What-ever!" I hissed.

Sano rolled his eyes around. "Kenshin, calm down. Look, with all the money I've blown on this fabulous carriage, I thought maybe I'd cut down on the cost by driving this thing myself. And a carriage wouldn't be a carriage without a footman, so I got ole buddy Tsunan to do this for me. Besides, how hard can driving a coach be?"

My God! Kaoru and I are going to die together, in a luxurious carriage, no less! 

"Kenshin, in case you've forgotten, you've got dinner reservations at _Sakura_ and you have a play at nine, so could we hurry this up?" Sano asked.

With a worried frown on my face, I gave in to the inevitable. 

I muttered a silent prayer. _God, please, if you must play with my pathetic soul, don't go dragging Kaoru into this._

True to his role, Tsunan opened the door for me with a grand flourish.

"Th-Thank you," I told him in resignation as I stepped into the coach and took the seat across from Kaoru.

"This is amazing, Kenshin. It's so nice!" Kaoru remarked, running a delicate finger against the soft upholstery.

"I'm glad you like it, Kaoru-dono," I replied. I'm not about to tell her that this is the first time I've seen it as well.

I heard something scratch and squeak amidst my rattled nerves. What was that?

A loud "Kiyah!" made me jerk on my seat. Boy, am I jittery. Right after that, the carriage lurched roughly, sending me bouncing off my seat and right smack on top of Kaoru.

"K-Kenshin!" Kaoru gasped in shock.

I should have expected something like this would happen. "So sorry!" I cried, trying to get off her. 

Sano was not a gentle driver. He seemed to have discovered amusement in finding all the potholes, as if it was some sort of game where he gained points the more potholes he hit. 

Kaoru grinned. She grinned! "I didn't know you were so forward, Kenshin."

I swear I blushed to my roots. "I am so very sorry!" I said, preferring to stumble to the carriage floor than be in such a compromising position.

When my knees banged on the hardened surface, I suddenly wished I hadn't been so hasty in my judgement. _This_ was _not_ better than the compromising position.

She had both hands clutching the sides of the coach to keep her balance on her seat, and as I struggled to get back to my place, another jolt rocked the vehicle.

"Are!" Kaoru cried, falling right on my hunched form.

"Oro!" Was all I could say not to swear an oath about rooster-heads claiming to know how to drive when they knew anything _but_. 

The "Yeehaaa!" I heard outside did nothing to settle my feelings.

Kaoru giggled. At least I can take comfort in the fact that she did not find this as disastrous as I did. 

"Kaoru-dono, are you alright?" I asked, trying to gain control of my faculties and put her back on her seat. 

"I-I'm fine," she said, chuckling.

The ride didn't get any better, but thanks to the high speeds our coachman was prone to take, we got to the restaurant faster than I expected.

The carriage came to an ungraceful stop after the coachman's "Whoa Nelly!" 

Taking a deep breath, I checked myself. 

Yes, arms and legs still in the right place. My knees are bruised, but that's a detail. At least Kaoru didn't get hurt.

"Whew! That was some ride, ne Kenshin?" She breathed, smirking and arranging some of her misplaced hair. She wasn't as ruffled as I was. 

I'm just glad she's in such a good mood. 

"Surely…" I moaned, trying to salvage what was left of my composure. 

"Unloading!" Called the footman from outside. 

The door swung open and a hand poked its way through to assist Kaoru's disembarkation. 

"Thank you," Kaoru said, gathering her skirts and delicately taking the hand as she stepped out. She apparently didn't recognize Tsunan, being in footman's clothes with his hair pulled back and all.

"Oro…" I sighed miserably, following her.

I shot a deadly glare at Sano and Tsunan as we headed to the entrance of the restaurant.

Sano's sanguine salute only added to my irritation.

We entered the restaurant and my anti-coachman feelings dissipated. It was a nice place. Not too bright, not too dark. The atmosphere was more formal than that of the Akebeko.

The hostess welcomed us quietly and she lowered her voice even more to speak to me. "Do you have reservations, good sir?"

Kaoru gave me an encouraging smile then turned her attention to the restaurant's interior.

"Yes ma'am," I replied to the hostess. 

"Name please?"

"Himura Kenshin."

She peered at a parchment in her hand. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "We don't have a Himura Kenshin on the list."

My face twitched involuntarily and I tried to control the panic crawling up at my back. Teeth clenched, I tried another tact. "Segara Sanosuke."

"Ah! Here we are," responded the hostess more cheerfully. 

Sanosuke…you are an absolute moron. Thank god this unworthy one is not so stupid. 

We were led to a table with the view of a garden. 

"These seats are wonderful, Kenshin," Kaoru said, looking at the display of flowers and foliage. 

I have no doubt in my mind that this was Aoshi's doing. Sano couldn't have possibly thought about giving us a prime table.

A waitress approached us and bowed politely. "Your orders will arrive in a few minutes, ma'am, sir."

"Eh?" Kaoru asked. "But--"

"You'll start with a nice and light sashimi and some cucumber pickled in our best pantry stock," the waitress continued with an oblivious smile. "Then to further tease your palate, we shall be serving you our special miso, cooked with the freshest greens and seasoned with the finest herbs in the market. For the main course you shall be given a pot of the most exquisite sukiyaki. Nothing but the best shitaki mushrooms and terriyaki beef. It shall be served with tasty crab flavored rice. Then to finish it off, some tea, with dessert, which will be a very pleasant surprise."

Well, I have to hand it to Aoshi for thinking up a way to handle a pre-order that would otherwise be an obvious attempt to stay on budget. 

"That sounds delicious. Arigato," Kaoru said, returning the smile. 

The waitress bowed again and went her way.

I wonder how much they paid _her_ to do all that. 

Kaoru turned to me. "Kenshin, I'm quite impressed. When did you plan all this?"

I tried not to look so guilty as I replied. "Oh, you know…"

Not much of a reply.

Kaoru seemed discomfited by it.

I fidgeted. If only I could hear her thoughts, then I would know what to say. 

A silence fell upon us.

Kaoru started to fiddle with her fingers.

I have to say something…about the weather…about her budo…anything! 

"Kaoru-dono--", "Kenshin--"

Right down the middle. I should have known my sakabatou would come in handy…to cut the soup-like tension!

"You first, Kaoru-dono," I said before she beat me to it. 

She smiled. "Kenshin, I'm glad we fi--did this."

Doesn't take a mind reader to pick up on what she was going to say. All right, I know I took my time. I can admit that, but what's important is that I got to do it, right? "So am I," I responded. I could feel my cheeks flaming. "I should have asked you a long time ago."

Kaoru arched an eyebrow. She's thinking again. "And why didn't you, Kenshin?" She asked sweetly.

Imminent pitfall! Chose your words well, rurouni! This can make or break you! "Umm…" I wracked my brain for an appropriate response. _Sessha was too chicken…sessha thinks you deserve better than a loser like me…sessha didn't want to soil your purity…sessha this…sessha that…_oh, what do I say?

"Ah, the sashimi is here!" Was my pathetic answer.

Kaoru looked a little miffed after that and she did not ask the question again. 

I couldn't even handle _that. _What am I going to do when she starts asking me about Kyoto? Maybe I shouldn't push through with the play…

Our conversation didn't get any better than that. Try as I might to get things going, I think I ruined it with my earlier evasiveness. 

Dammit! Why can't I do anything right?

After dessert, I told Kaoru we had to go if we wanted to catch the play in the other side of town.

A glimmer of delight crossed her face. "Ooh! What is the title of the play? What will it be about?" She asked eagerly as we made our way out of the restaurant.

Hmm…again, what will I say? "It's entitled _Kokoro no Miko._ You'll just have to wait and see what it's about." Clever, Himura…real clever.

Kaoru gave a pout, but she accepted my answer.

So we alighted our vehicle while I once more muttered a short prayer for our safety.

Part XV: We're On Our Way to the Play

Sano was just as reckless in getting us to the play as he was in getting us to the restaurant, and the worse part about it is, the ride seemed to have taken longer, for two reasons:

One, the distance between the restaurant and the theatre is indeed farther than the distance from the dojo to the restaurant, and two…well, that's another story.

While trying to preserve Kaoru and mine's life as the carriage rocked and jolted, I amazingly heard that distinct squeaking and scratching I first noticed earlier that evening. 

What the heck…? 

It was then I saw, to my utter horror a mouse, a very brown one in fact, scurrying up from behind a pocket and thereafter walking a line across the backrest of Kaoru's seat. It wasn't the standard variety of filthy rats Kaoru (and I, as well) hated so much, but it was a rodent, nevertheless. With big round ears, clawed feet and the token, disgusting tail.

Shit! Why me? 

My eyes widened. I thanked God that Kaoru was too busy keeping herself upright to notice me or the mouse, but "it" was heading straight for her, and any minute now, she would be screaming bloody murder. 

I timed my lunge with a particularly deep pothole and planted myself conveniently beside her, making a desperate grab for the delinquent mouse.

"Mou!" Kaoru exclaimed when I practically collided with her.

I suppressed my gasp as the mouse skittered up my arm, right under my sleeve. 

Urk! It's clawing up my arm, and I can feel it's tail…eeeeee-yuck!

Forcing an apologetic smile to my lips, I spoke through my clenched teeth. "I am very sorry, Kaoru-dono. The terrain is bumpy…"

She laughed. "That's an understatement, Kenshin." 

Trying desperately to keep the mouse from revealing itself, I caught it beneath my sleeve with my other hand. All right, you miniature monster. Nobody messes with Himura Kenshin. No more mister nice guy! "D-Do you mind if I open the window, Kaoru-dono?" I asked her, fidgeting with the mouse.

The damn thing was struggling to get free of my grasp, and I can feel it scratching painfully into my skin. It better not bite me, or else it's pest control time, mousy! With a sakabatou!

"Go ahead," she replied, gasping when the carriage jumped, I don't know how many feet in the air.

Kaoru fell against me and of course, the wee animal escaped my grip.

"Oro!" I cried in despair, reaching around Kaoru just so I can keep the creature from crawling out of my gi and coming face to face with her.

The way I see it, if it weren't for the infernal rodent from hell, I would have been perfectly happy having Kaoru in my arms. However, in view of the circumstances, I couldn't quite enjoy the moment, could I?

"Kenshin…" Kaoru breathed, a blush creeping up her cheeks at how close we were.

Two paths: One, I could completely throw caution to the wind by kissing her and letting the mouse just go absolutely bananas in my gi, wherein it would be entirely possible that Kaoru would detect it thus rendering me unconscious when she wallops me to my next life in the pursuit of getting rid of the little nuisance; or two, I could apologize profusely, as always, and let her go while I disposed of the mouse through the window. 

Unfortunately, the second recourse would be more sensible. 

Why me?

"Kaoru-dono, a thousand apologies!" I said unhooking my arms from her and moving to slide the pane open. "Oro!" 

Leaves and branches whipped past and I could barely get near the opening.

"Mou!" Kaoru cried in exasperation. Whether it was from the chaos or the missed opportunity of…well, more intimate pursuits, I couldn't tell. 

Jeez. It would have been so much easier if I can just hear her thinking.

Employing my God-like speed, I snatched the mouse out from inside my gi and tossed it out of the window. I managed to peer out in spite of the furious foliage and saw it scamper off into the growth. 

Giving a sigh of relief, I closed the window. Suddenly, being knocked around in a carriage didn't seem so bad anymore. 

Not that I didn't wish we had a better driver…

"Are!" Kaoru cried as a sharp turn caused both of us to roll to our sides.

For a third time…why me?

We got to the play in one piece.

To be sure, I patted my palms against my body to see if all my limbs are still intact. They are. Amazing.

Stepping out of the carriage after Kaoru, I fished the tickets from my sleeve and…they weren't there.

C-Crap…

I checked again, more frantically this time. I went for my other sleeve and there was nothing there but some laundry lint…I can't believe I missed cleaning that out…Shit! Focus, Himura!

WHERE THE HELL ARE THOSE TICKETS!

The…mouse! 

Argh! Of course it wasn't _exactly _the mouse! I must have thrown it out…the carriage. They can still be in the carriage!

Suppressing my urge to scream, I turned to Kaoru. "One moment, Kaoru-dono. I just have to confer with the driver. Is it alright if I leave you here? I'll just be a second."

"Sure, Kenshin. I'll be fine," she replied, smiling at me.

I smiled in return then hurried back to our vehicle.

"Problem?" Sano asked when he saw me approaching.

"Yes! I lost the tickets!" I exclaimed, shoving Tsunan aside and opening the carriage door.

"You what! How the f*&% did that happen?" Sano demanded as I clambered in, searching high and low.

"There was a mouse…" I replied absentmindedly, going to my knees to check under the seats.

"Wow, the carriage company wasn't kidding when they said this unit had a mouse living in it," Sano suddenly said.

I looked at him in shock. _"What?!?!?"_

Tsunan laughed and slapped Sano at the back. "I should have known…with the low rent of this baby…" 

My hands flew up to hold my head in despair. "Sano! How could you rent a carriage with a pest problem?"

"Hey! These things don't come cheap, you know!" Sano protested.

I glared at him. "I most certainly do! You're the only cheap one around here!" I don't care how bitchy that sounded. I'm outside a theater, with the most important date of my life, and I had no friggin' tickets!

"So shoot me!" Sano said, crossing his arms over his chest as a fishbone bobbed between his lips.

"Show me the gun and I'll take it from there!" I snapped back in a menacing tone.

"Alright, settle down people," Tsunan said, getting between us. "Sanosuke, seeing as you've saved a bundle of money because of discount privileges, I suggest you purchase a new set of tickets for Himura-san." 

"Are you nuts?" Sano cried incredulously. 

I clenched a fist. "_Now_ Sano!"

"Boy, you're both bossy!" Sano hissed. "Tsunan, you're suppose to be on my side!"

"Look, with a honey like that for a date," Tsunan responded, jerking a thumb at Kaoru's distant form. "Even _I_ can sympathize with Himura-san."

I'm going to forget he called my Kaoru _honey_ just because he's pleading my case. 

Sano gave a growl. "Fine! But this one you owe me, Kenshin!"

"Yes, yes," I replied, feeling some measure of relief. "J-Just…go get the tickets."

"Aye, aye, Himura-sama!" Sano said with an exaggerated bow. 

He stalked off, muttering epithets of the worse kind. 

I gave a sigh of relief. "I'll be going to Kaoru-dono now."

"I'll bring the tickets to you," Tsunan said with a smirk.

"Arigato," I replied, going to Kaoru.

Kaoru flashed me another pleasant smile as she saw me approach. "Well?"

"The tickets will be here in a moment, Kaoru-dono," I told her.

"Great! I can't wait to see the play!"

My stomach did another flip turn. Steady now…

Tsunan soon came with two tickets in his hand. "The best seats in the house, Himura-san."

I'll bet. The better to owe Sano with, my dear.

"Tsu-san!" Kaoru exclaimed, finally recognizing him. "I just knew our footman looked familiar! My, you look rather distinguished."

Tsunan gave a formal bow. "Thank you, and you look ravishing, Kamiya-san, if you'll allow me to say so."

Kaoru blushed. "Umm…"

"Thank you, 'Tsu-san', that will be all," I said hastily, taking Kaoru's elbow and leading us away. The nerve of that guy to flirt with my Kaoru on _our_ date. 

"S-See you later, Tsu-san!" Kaoru said over her shoulder.

I didn't even look to see if Tsunan waved back. 

I have enough to worry about. We're going to be seeing, as far as I'm concerned, the play of the century, and I need all the guts I can muster to brace myself for what's to come. 

To be continued…

Author's Note: This was a long one, ne? Well, that's what the disappearance of FF.net for long periods of time can do. I didn't keep much in theme with the title of the story in these parts, but then, I figured we all needed a break from that. Besides, Kenshin has too many things to worry about. The next few chapters will have more on THE woman's mind, meaning Kaoru's. No, Kenshin doesn't get his gift back, but in case you haven't figured it out, men don't have to be mind readers to see into a woman's mind…they just have to listen.

On that note, 'till the next chapter!


	8. Parts 16 to 19

Author's Note: I'm so evil to Ken-san. If you all didn't know me better, you'd almost believe I hate him. If you think the last few parts were hard on him, wait 'till you read this next release. I'm going to sauté him alive. One Sushi a la Battousai coming up! Anyway, just so you don't panic on me, this isn't the last of it yet. I'll post one more after this. The torture will continue.

Well, isn't it just great that FF.net is back on track? That's why I'm celebrating by taking out my sadistic tendencies on the rurouni who's just too kind to hate me for it! (*Kenshin smiles at me, then his eyes begin to glow yellow…*) Anou…

S-Standard disclaimers apply…Kenshin…maa…you'll still get the girl, ne? No need to go Battousai on me… Ken-san, don't look at me like that! Loads of WAFF in this segment! I promise! Oh, you like that, ne?

On with the story…(*whew! For a moment there, I thought I was a goner!*)

****

Mind of the Woman

Part XVI: The Drama of the Century

The grand theatre was packed with people from all walks of life. Affluently dressed patrons, middle-class finery and even those wearing gi and hakama as ratty as my regular ones. Personally, I think _I_ belong with the riff-raff, but apparently, our tickets didn't say so.

After handing the tickets over to our usher, we were led through the throng to come upon an opulent central hallway with several staircases rising on its sides.

"Oh my…" Kaoru gasped under her breath.

She took the words right out of my mouth. Sano actually did something right. This place was so exclusive that there were very few people in it, and they didn't even take my sakabatou from me!

At that thought, I got a nagging feeling that it wasn't natural, that _something_ ought to go terribly wrong, just for the sake of keeping the balance in the universe…

Oh for heaven's sake! 

Nothing will go wrong! _Everything _has been falling apart all night. What could possibly be worse than riding the Inferno Express that Sano happens to be driving, ruining dinner with my insensitivity, being welcomed by a mouse into his home, losing tickets to what is apparently a very popular play and having the footman trying to hound in on my date? It's a wonder Kaoru hasn't caught on!

The usher led us up a flight of stairs and came upon a balcony with an excellent view of the stage. How in the world was Sano able to afford these tickets? How in the world will _I_ be able to afford it when I pay him? 

"Kenshin, we're so close to the stage!" Kaoru whispered to me delightedly as we gingerly made our way to the chairs.

"Yes, we are…" Where she can totally absorb the story and sentiment of the play. Boy, am I in for it now. 

Dredging, this is what this is. And in the pit, what would we find? Why, Kyoto of course! Stinking to high heaven because the idiot-rurouni has chosen to ignore it, hoping it would die a quiet death. 

Holy crap…my stomach's wrenching again…ooooh…I dropped on my place ungracefully.

Kaoru sat comfortably on the cushioned western seat with armrests, her eyes shining and her smile conveying rapture. "This is going to be great, Kenshin! I've never been to a theatre like this! Oh! And look at these cutie seeing-majigs!" She gushed, delicately picking up the intricately designed two-scoped contraption and placing it over her eyes. 

Those seeing-majigs aren't the only cute things around here. I forgot about my stomach and leaned my chin on my propped-up palm, watching her with perhaps the most pathetic longing these parts have ever known. I smiled to myself, just looking at her. 

"My, how adorable you are!" Said a lady's voice from Kaoru's other side. "I just love seeing a girl in her first theater experience!" We weren't alone in the balcony, which was just as well, considering I'd pass out if there were no one else to lessen my nervousness.

I pulled my eyes from Kaoru and saw an elder woman, distinguishably dressed in the richest material and decked with tasteful jewelry. The white hair on her graying raven locks only added to her distinction. Even with her kind words, I noted how high she held herself, but in spite of that I felt the sincerity of her words. She called my Kaoru adorable. I like her already. 

Kaoru put down the scopes and smiled at the one who had spoken. "Well, it's not really my first time, but I've never been in seats like these before. It's wonderful!"

"Isn't it?" Responded the woman, patting Kaoru's hand. "I'm so glad you're the one here and not…well, it's a gentleman I don't like, and he shall remain nameless. Irritating, I tell you. Every single time he tries to buy out this whole balcony so he would be alone…that's quite unimportant at the moment. I am Masaaki Hime, and this is my attendant, Saburo Ayumi." She gestured to a woman beside her who wasn't as finely dressed but looked just as tasteful in her silken garb. Ayumi-dono smiled brightly.

"Oh, you have a beautiful name, Masaaki-san!" Kaoru complimented.

Masaaki-dono laughed. "There's something to be said about having such a name as mine. Everyone who doesn't know me thinks I'm royalty! And might I know who my affable company is?"

Kaoru blushed. "What terrible manners I have! I am Kamiya Kaoru, and this is my escort, Himura Kenshin."

The ladies looked at me and raised amused eyebrows. 

"A comely pair, don't you think, Ayu-chan?" Masaaki-dono said. 

"Very," Ayumi-dono agreed with a nod. 

Both of us turned red as Kaoru and I glanced at each other shyly. Oh, how these women make me feel like I'm thirteen instead of thirty!

"Umm…Masaaki-san," Kaoru began. "I don't even know what this play is all about. Kenshin has been keeping it secret all night!"

Gut-twisting time! Ho my gawd! Please Masaaki-dono! Don't tell her just yet! I couldn't handle it! Ooooooh! My pasted on smile was transforming into a scary grimace. 

Masaaki-dono chuckled. "Has he? Well, I'm sure he has his reasons…"

Out of the frying pan and into the fire…now there's no way Kaoru won't get the hint! We'll be sure to talk about Kyoto now. Actually, it's not really the talking part I'm afraid of, it's the potential for yelling, and those knuckle-combos to my jaw Kaoru can deliver with such perfection. Or worse…her angry silence…I groaned inwardly as my insides did another summersault. Oh, when does the hurting stop?

A man suddenly stepped on stage right in front of the curtains. He looked around him, his gaze demanding for silence.

"Oh hush! It's starting!" Masaaki-dono said, clasping Kaoru's hands in a chummy fashion.

Saved by some stranger in the one situation the Hitokiri Battousai couldn't get out of. 

All three women turned to the stage where the play began. 

I sighed, trying to steady my thudding heart. This is it. There's no turning back.

Time to face the music, in more ways than one. 

I think I paid more attention to Kaoru than I did on the play itself. Unbeknownst to her, I watched her face for any hint of what she was thinking. So far, the traveler in the play has taken up residence in the heroine's home, which, I cannot say enough, is totally reminiscent of some rurouni and a dojo owner I don't even have to name. 

Thank the gods the guy in the play is neither a samurai nor made to do the laundry and the cooking. For whatever that pathetic reprieve is worth, it certainly would have been overkill if he were elbow deep in soapsuds. If that were the case, it would be reasonable to suppose that somewhere along the story line, there would be a mooching-gambler best friend and a pick-pocketing brat. 

As it is, Kaoru's eyes have already twice misted over. And we haven't even gotten to the "leaving" yet!

The story went on to announcing a war. Naturally, the traveler had to join it, ergo he had to go and fight. I could have sworn the hero said, "Shishio Makoto should be stopped," in his loud, melodramatic voice. The scene played the pre-pack-up-and-go moments to a sob-fest tee, and by the time the intermission came round, Kaoru, Masaaki-dono and Ayumi-dono were wiping their eyes of some stray tears. 

Kaoru sniffed and looked at me with moist eyes. 

I froze.

"I can't wait to see the next part, Kenshin," she said, giving a small smile. "I've never felt so moved in my life."

Neither have I, I wanted to tell her. If you count gut wrenching as being moved. 

Yes, I expect the Juppon Katana to come crashing down on me any minute now. That sounded more appealing than facing the real issue. 

"That one did me a lot of good," Masaaki-dono said, smiling through unshed tears. "What do you think, Ayu-chan?"

"A lot of good," Ayumi-dono replied. 

Oro! Doesn't that attendant do anything else except agree with her?

"Kenshin," Kaoru began, gently placing a hand on mine.

Not good…well, it is, and yet it isn't! 

Kaoru continued. "This play remi--"

Aaaaah! I'm not ready to go into this in front of Masaaki-dono and Ayumi-dono!

"Pardon me," said a man's voice behind all of us. 

I held down my sigh of relief as we all turned to look at a perfectly dressed man in superb western clothes. He looked as Japanese as the rest of us if it weren't for his attire. I must say, the top hat tucked primly in the crook of his arm made him look terribly proper. 

"There seems to have been a mix-up," the man went on to say, eyeing me with disdain.

Oro? 

"Oh," Masaaki-dono said flatly. "It's you."

The man bowed his head towards her in icy civility. "Hime-san, Ayumi-san," he said, acknowledging their presence. "As much as I'd rather have this balcony all to myself, the theater seems to find humor in accommodating you and your assistant every blessed time."

"Well, this time they got it right excluding you all together," Masaaki-dono huffed. "You are invading our nice little circle, Hiro-san. You'd do well not to insist upon it. Bye, bye now."

Hime and Hiro. What an odd couple they make. 

"I'm afraid that is not possible, Hime-san," said Hiro with pursed lips, obviously staying his patience. "As you can see, I'm late. I had to watch the first half of the play down _there_ with the rest of the ruffians. Now that I am here, there is no way I will give up my place. They are, after all, prime seats."

Somehow, I'm getting an odd feeling…

Masaaki-dono frowned severely. "Stop acting like a child, Hiro-san. Himura-san and Kamiya-san were rightfully escorted to this balcony by the theatre ushers. You have no right to make them leave just because you want their seats."

An odd, eerie feeling… 

Hiro turned red in the face and curled his hand into a fist. "I have every right to make them leave! I purchased these seats two weeks ago!"

Wh…what…?

I groaned, loudly this time. Oh, the pain…the agony… 

I could see Kaoru glaring at Hiro already. Being the gem that she is, she will most certainly take my side, which is totally fine, considering that this really is just an honest mishap. Of course, it had to happen to me…

"Hiro-dono," I struggled amidst the spasms in my abdomen. "This unworthy one had no intention of stealing your place and I honestly did buy these seats, hoping to give Kaoru-dono a wonderful time at the theatre…that's all I wanted…"

I could see the eyes of the ladies softening at my appeal.

"This unworthy one knows you bought both seats…" I moaned a bit, my face going into a grimace at my internal suffering. "But since you only need one, perhaps it would be reasonable if you would just take _my_ place…" Uuuuurgh…it hurts…

"K-Kenshin!" Kaoru gasped, shaking her head already.

Masaaki-dono rose to her feet. "Out of the question!" She hissed. "Himura-san stays right where he is! If the theatre made a mistake issuing the same place to two patrons, then Himura-san and Kaoru-san certainly have more right to it than you do. They came early! Prompt! On time!" She enumerated with emphasis. 

Hiro's eyes flashed. "How dare you disregard my station? I am the attaché --"

"I don't care what kind of suitcase you are!" Masaaki-dono somewhat yelled.

The argument was already drawing the attention of the audience around us. Another drama was unfolding…oh Kami-sama, this is all Sano's fault…

"Mou!!" Kaoru exclaimed, standing up and facing Hiro, practically nose to nose with him. She was never one to back down from fights. "Hiro-san, there has obviously been a misunderstanding, but it gives you no such right to be rude to someone as polite and gentle as Kenshin!"

Gentle…oh well…

"I _don't_ have to stand for this!" Hiro said hotly, delving one hand into his coat for something as he reached out with his other hand to grab Kaoru by her shoulder. "Ask your gentleman here where he bought his tickets, then we'll see--"

My eyes flashed.

Oh, Battousai, stay down! 

Too late. 

I pulled out my sword, my instinct to protect Kaoru roaring in my ears. 

__

Slash!

Four pieces of paper fluttered to the floor like dead butterflies…

Paper…my golden eyes stared…

Tickets! They were tickets! Not a weapon but harmless stubs to prove his case!

"God…" I piped, Battousai suddenly skittering under a rock, deserting the rurouni as usual.

Everyone stared at me, the horrific silence pressing down on me like I've never experienced before. 

"I'm so very sorry!" I cried, bowing frantically before Hiro. "T-Take my ticket! I didn't mean to ruin yours!" I gave him my stub, hoping against hope that it would be enough to forgive me and my paranoia. The cramps on my stomach grew worse and my vision blurred, just like it did this morning. 

In a daze, his fingers clipped around the stub I had given him. With his mouth hanging open, he looked at it, then his face began to register all his former rage.

"You got this from a SCALPER!" He yelled for the whole theater to hear.

__

Scalper…scalper…the word echoing through out the entire building.

Oh sweet honor…Scalped tickets. That's just like Sano. Rooster-head, you're _really _going to get it. 

But first…

"Oro…" Spin, keel over and die.

Thud.

Part XVII: Intermission

"Kenshin?"

Warm hands. Soft too, pressing gently on my cheeks. Feels nice. I can get used to this.

I gave a sigh with my eyes still closed and I smiled.

"He's waking up!"

I heard voices chatting, mostly high pitched. Womanly voices.

I opened my eyes slowly. I first caught sight of Kaoru's beautiful face observing me with concern. Then the faces of the other women behind her became apparent. Who were they…? What are they…?

"How do you feel, Kenshin?" She asked, keeping her hands on my cheeks.

"Oro…"

Kaoru gave a wide smile then said, "He's going to be alright, girls!"

"Oh good!"

"The poor man…I'm glad we kicked Hiro out!"

"That arrogant…he deserved it! Bullying this dear, sweet boy!"

Are they talking about me? Sweet boy?

"Hime-san did right to use her theatrical muscle to have Hiro escorted out of the premises!"

"Did you hear what Ayumi-san said?" Gushed another. "Himura-san was protecting Kaoru-chan almost rabidly! Then he begged Hiro to take _his_ tickets just so Kaoru-chan wouldn't have to give up her place! Have you ever heard of anything so gallant?"

Kaoru-chan? When did these women become her friends? And…Hiro got kicked out? Whatever for?!?

"Of course Himura-san's gentle heart couldn't fathom the humiliation Hiro was trying to shove on him!"

"Hiro is just terrible! Imagine him trying to get one over this wonderful, wonderful man? Such a thing will never happen as long as I'm alive!"

"Kenshin? How do you feel?" Kaoru asked me tenderly, smoothing some hair from my forehead. 

I turned absolutely red in the face. "I-I'm fine…" I gingerly tried to sit up and found a hoard of women assisting me. "Oro! I'm okay. Thank you for your help…"

They all sighed and smiled at me.

What's going on? My face was surely registering perplexity. 

I felt Kaoru supporting me by the arm and I turned even redder. "Kaoru-dono, why are all these ladies…?"

"Oh goodness! He calls you 'dono'? How terribly polite!" Somebody exclaimed, sending the others sighing and smiling again. 

"You see? You see how polite he is?" Came a new voice. One I recognized to be Masaaki-dono's. She appeared from the stairs of the balcony we were on and waved an emphatic and angry fist. "The nerve of Hiro to accuse him of buying from a scalper!"

"The nerve!" Echoed Ayumi-dono who came up from behind her.

Oro! If they only knew how entirely possible that was! 

"And in spite of such horrid allegations, Himura-san was willing to sacrifice his place for our dear, dear Kaoru-chan!" Masaaki-dono continued, as if making a speech to the multitude. "Good will always prevail over evil and justice is might!"

"Justice indeed!" Ayumi-dono seconded.

"Hear! Hear!" Responded the half-dozen or so women of Masaaki-dono's ilk. 

"Himura-san has comported himself like a true gentleman," Masaaki-dono said seriously. "And around here, gentlemen are more welcome than boors like Hiro!"

Ayumi shook her head in disapproval. "Hiro is such a boor!" For a moment there, I thought she was going to disagree.

It dawned on me that very second where all of this was coming from. It had to be Masaaki-dono's doing. She had obviously blown this into some grand production. I'm the good guy, Hiro's the bad guy, and of course, the bad guy had to go. 

Now I get to stay in the theatre with my scalped tickets while Hiro is out somewhere, with his perfectly legitimate _sliced-in-half_ tickets, probably plotting revenge against Himura Kenshin. 

Well, that's a first. Usually it's Battousai who gets all the enemies. 

__

"Himura Kenshin!" Hiro would say, standing on the Kamiya front yard. _"You who slighted me in the theatre! Because of you, I have been banned from entering those hallowed halls of cultural bliss! I challenge you to a dyu-wel!" _Stress on the "y" and the "w" even if they shouldn't be there. _"With my Wrath of a Thousand Ticket Stubs Secret Technique, I will perforate you off the face of thespian society!"_

"I have come here to escort you to the best seats in the house, Himura-san, Kaoru-chan," Masaaki-dono said, gesturing for us. 

Nods of approval rippled through the group. 

Ayumi-dono clapped quietly. "Oh! Only the best for our hero!"

Since when did fainting qualify as heroism? 

"Oro! I thought _these_ were the best seats in the house!" I said in wonder.

Kaoru chuckled. "The theatre is terribly sorry for having issued double tickets, Kenshin. They want us to go watch from the _special_ balcony where we're practically right in front of the stage! Isn't it splendid?"

I saved Japan and I didn't get squat. I scalped a seat and now they want to give me imperial treatment? 

This is irony at its finest. 

We were hustled to the so-called special seats by a bevy of ladies just dying to make us comfortable and cozy. I was beginning to feel guiltier than my usual fare, after all, they thought I was some drama hero when all I really did was suffer another bout of extreme indigestion. 

"Now move along, ladies," Masaaki-dono said, clapping her hands to get them going. "The play is about to start and you don't want to miss what happens on that stage."

Ayumi-dono gave a clap of her own. "Mustn't miss!" 

I stared at the retreating women in awe. 

Kaoru took a deep breath then let it out with a sigh. 

I turned to her, still in a daze. 

"Are you sure you're alright, Kenshin?" She asked, giving me a worried smile.

Her sapphire eyes were never more soulful, and I realized just how wonderful she was in spite of all the disasters that have occurred. 

What am I so surprised about anyway? She's gone through worse because of me, and yet here she is, sitting in a box with me beside her. 

There is no room for fear or rejection. Just the two of us.

Come to think of it, this place is pretty private.

"Kaoru-dono, I am fine…I just felt a little dizzy, that's all…" I answered, not taking my gaze away from her face. 

No jolting carriages, no mice running up my sleeve, no thoughtless words, just us. I could kiss her and it would be beautiful. 

Maybe I could inch just a bit closer…

"Refreshments!" 

Oro!

Kaoru pulled away from me, red-faced. I was in no better condition. 

"Compliments of the theatre for your very unfortunate encounter with the resident snot!" Said a nicely dressed lad while serving us tall glasses of what I believe is a western alcoholic beverage called wine. 

Kaoru giggled. "Resident snot?"

"Well then what do you want me to call Hiro?" He asked, grinning. "He's tried to push his weight around this place long enough. He had it coming."

"Arigato," I said through my grit teeth. Not that I'm being ungrateful or anything, but I wish the theater had decided to give its compliments at least ten minutes later.

"Enjoy the rest of the play!" Said the lad, giving a sweeping bow and leaving our box. 

The curtains rose and silence settled upon the audience. 

Kaoru turned to look at the stage which was almost just an arms-length away.

The rest of the play unfolded. The moment of truth.

Part XIX: Finale

The hero left, reducing the heroine, and Kaoru into a pile of tears. A situation that would have been odd under a different circumstance, but for someone like me, it was heartbreaking. I could almost feel myself turning my back on Kaoru along the road to Kyoto. 

The subtle differences, like the hero professing his love to the maiden before leaving and the way he promised to come back were either lost on Kaoru, or giving her something more to cry about. Because unlike the hero in the play, I didn't have enough gonads to be so honest with her and myself. 

Mangling a handkerchief in her fists, Kaoru watched with baited breath, wet trails forming on her cheeks. 

I fidgeted. Should I…? "Kaoru-dono?" I whispered.

I almost jumped out of my skin when she grabbed my hand, her eyes pasted to the stage. "If he loves her, why did he have to go at all?"

I stayed quiet, my heart beating like anything. What was in that question? 

Duh! _You know very well what that question is trying to ask! This isn't the time to be clueless! Face it like a man!_

"H-He did it for her after all, for her future…" I said in a voice too soft for anyone but her to hear.

She sniffled. "Those who get left behind…they never see it that way until the one who left returns. Meanwhile, all they know is that the one they love is gone and might never come back. Either by death, or something else more profound…"

I felt like…I was reading her mind again. This was depth beyond my comprehension. 

No, I stand corrected. This isn't her mind. This is her heart. Honest and true. 

"If he truly loves her," I continued, placing my other hand atop hers. "Nothing but death will keep him from returning."

She fell silent after that. So did I. 

What I had said…for me it isn't true, neither is it for her. Twice, death had claimed me. Once in body, once in soul. The first one by Shishio's sword, the other by Rakuninmura. Yet I returned, for her. 

There was something else more powerful than death after all.

"Some people…" she began quietly, "…return in spite of that."

Our thoughts are one. 

It awes me, that somebody as stained as I and another as pure as her, should meet in thought so precisely that it was almost like a dream. 

I gained the knowledge through blood, she gained it through spirit. It doesn't matter how different lessons are taught, what matters is that it is _learned_. Experience gave me the brutal reality, life showed her the window. 

There is no complication. All is simple. People live for a moment in time, so that they could look forward to the future. 

For me it's this moment, in this special place in the theatre. A place I couldn't have possibly been in if Sano had not scalped those tickets; if that mouse hadn't been in the carriage; if Sano were a better driver; if Aoshi hadn't pointed out that Sano has enough money to pay for this whole thing; if Sano didn't get a job; if I hadn't known about Kaoru's grave visits; if Tomoe hadn't given me a gift; if Tsubame had not gone to fetch me in Rakuninmura; if I didn't love Kaoru enough to go to Kyoto; if I didn't walk in the streets of Edo just when an angry Kamiya Kasshin shihondai was prowling for the Hitokiri Battousai; if I hadn't become a rurouni for ten years; if Tomoe hadn't died; if I didn't join the war; if I didn't learn Hiten Mitsurugi; if shishou didn't rename little Shinta, Kenshin…

"Some people have a reason to return," I said. "Like I did."

Kaoru turned in her seat to look at me, eyelashes wet from her tears, but the tears were no longer flowing. A small smile was playing on her lips. "Truly, Kenshin?" She asked.

"Absolutely," I replied, tenderly wiping off the tears from her cheeks.

The atmosphere, or the wine, must have intoxicated me, because I kissed her that moment. When my lips touched hers, I couldn't believe I waited so long. 

You'd think being deprived for more than a decade of any intimacy whatsoever would have made me move faster, but no, not me. _Sessha_ the wanderer: Baka-edition. 

Having god-like speed apparently didn't come with romance-privileges.

I never imagined it to feel this wonderful, cupping her jaw in my hand, showing her this tenderness. I wonder if I can…deepen it?

She did, and I could do nothing but respond and pull her into my arms. 

Oh my goodness, if we don't stop now ten years of deprivation will beat me down to an unrecognizable pulp!

Besides, one needs air to live…

Our lips pulled apart and when I looked at her, her eyes were just fluttering open. "Kenshin…" she whispered. "I thought you would never…"

Even Kaoru knows I philander like a sloth. I chuckled. We didn't need to go into what took me so long. I'd screw up the explanations, and god knows I've been screwing everything up tonight. Well, this time, I'm going to do it right. "I love you, Kaoru. Everything is because of that."

A smile spread across her face, her cheeks flushing. "I know that now, silly. And for that, I love you too, but I wish you hadn't been so mysterious about it, Kenshin. You have no idea what kind of emotional highs and lows I had to go through just to figure out whether you had any feelings for me whatsoever…"

Oh yes I do, my sweet. That's one thing no man will ever have the privilege of saying to you. 

"…I was terrified that Yahiko and Tsubame would get their act together before we did. Mou! Crying myself silly and what not. I ought to pound you on the head! Honestly, Kenshin! I thought that Enishi fiasco would do it for you, but _no_. You kept on _sessha-ing_ and _oro-ing_ me, _Kaoru-dono_, as if I was your landlady or something…"

She's so adorable, even like this, but I think I prefer it when her lips are occupied in some other way.

Ignoring her scolding, I kissed her again, it was even better than the last time.

I love her so much.

I wonder if people can get kicked out of a theatre for making out. I guess they could, but we weren't bothering anyone. 

We were perfectly lost to the rest of the world.

I never knew how the play ended. Neither did Kaoru for that matter. 

I think it was a tragedy, or someone surely died.

Glad I didn't see it. There will be no sad endings for me tonight. 

Heck, no endings period. 

For Kaoru and I, the curtain is just about to rise.

****

Part XIX: Encore…Perhaps?

I thought the play was a huge success. 

I guess the audience thought so too, because they all stood up from their seats during curtain call and roses began to rain on stage when the hero and heroine stepped up. 

With smiles on their faces, the actors gave a hearty bow.

The hero, who was made up to look dead, beamed at us and gave us a wink, throwing a rose back up at us. Kaoru and I blushed like anything, summoning her poise by holding up the rose in acknowledgment. I think he saw us…ahem…getting into the mood of the play. 

When it was all over, I took Kaoru's hand and earned one of her adorable smiles. 

Masaaki-dono and Ayumi-dono met us out at the grand hall with wide smiles.

"Wasn't that a splendid play?" Masaaki-dono asked us.

Kaoru smiled and tried to hide her blush. "Splendid," she said shyly. She sounded like Ayumi-dono.

Masaaki-dono raised an amused eyebrow, failing in holding down her smirk. "And how did you like your seats?" 

"They were very nice, Masaaki-dono," Kaoru answered before I could say anything. 

"Kaoru and I are grateful of those special seats, madam," I added with my rurouni smile.

"Well," began Masaaki-dono. "They weren't called 'special' for nothing." She finished with a wink.

Ayumi-dono giggled.

Oro! It occurred to me that I had just called Kaoru without an honorific, which of course, totally gave us away. Idiot-rurouni strikes again. 

Everyone seems to be winking at us because of it. Either the whole audience had developed a bad case of eye-itch or those seats aren't as private as we thought. 

Beating down her obvious embarrassment, Kaoru held her head high and exchanged more pleasantries with our new friends, promising that the next time we watched a play, we would give them a hello.

After the other ladies from the earlier Legion Against Resident Snots Who Picked On Idiot-Rurouni fussed over us for a few minutes, we left the theatre to meet our ride.

"How was the play, my lady?" Tsunan asked when he saw us.

I ought to sock him for "my lady-ing" _my_ lady. 

"It was perfect," Kaoru replied, beaming.

"Yes, quite perfect," I agreed, giving Kaoru a knowing look and squeezing her hand gently. 

Tsunan arched an eyebrow and looked pointedly at our linked hands. "Hmm…apparently. Where to, Himura-sama?" He asked, opening the carriage door.

"Home," I replied, realizing with warmth just how much that was true with the Kamiya Dojo. 

"Back to base, buddy," Tsunan said to Sano as I helped Kaoru inside the carriage. 

"Sir, yes sir!" Sano replied with a smirk. "Psst! Himura-sama!"

Of course, rooster-head just couldn't wait to get the gory details. Not that I'd tell him.

"Later coachman," I said dryly, stepping into the carriage with Kaoru. 

I think I heard Sano curse. Wouldn't be the first time. 

Well, you can guess how he drove after that. 

Heaped on the floor, Kaoru suddenly gave an exasperated sigh.

"Mou! That's quite enough of that!" She said. "Sanosuke! Stop this carriage right now!" She yelled at the top of her lungs.

Oro! She knows? 

__

Of course she knows, moron! You're the only idiot around here!

The carriage came to a very rough stop, tossing Kaoru and I forward. Thank goodness for Kaoru I was around to cushion her crash. Thank goodness for me I had that consolation in exchange for the knock my battered body received yet again. 

Kaoru slammed her foot against the carriage door, sending it flying wide open.

There was an "Oof!" and then a thump just outside the coach. 

"Tsunan! Buddy! You alright?" Came Sano's voice from the driver's seat. 

We soon discovered Tsunan knocked out on the ground, the coach-door swinging back and forth above his sprawled form.

Kaoru sighed and shook her head. She looked up at Sano and glared. "Sano, I tried to put up with it but I just couldn't any more! You drive like a lunatic! I've beaten Kenshin to a pulp and we weren't even fighting!"

"Hey! How'd you know it was me?" Sano asked, scratching his head. 

"What, you think I'm _stupid_?" Responded Kaoru in a seriously insulted tone. "I recognized you the moment you pulled up in front of the dojo gate! Just because you're wearing fancy clothes and sporting a cheesy hairdo, it doesn't mean I didn't recognize your filthy mouth!"

"But you didn't recognize Tsunan 'till later in the evening…"

"Does Tsunan come to my home to eat breakfast, lunch and dinner everyday? _No!_"

"What! I don't do that anymore!"

Kaoru looked extremely irritated. "Sano…that's not the point! The thing is…you're a lousy driver. I'm sorry. You got us around town, and I thank you for that, but enough is enough. Kenshin, do you mind walking the rest of the way?"

I blinked, suddenly realizing I was being addressed. "O-Of course not, Kaoru-chan…"

"Heeeeeeyyyyy! Kaoru-chan now, is it?" Sano drawled. "So Jou-chan, did the ole rurouni slip it?"

My eyes widened in horror at Sano's impossibly scandalous vulgarity. 

Kaoru frowned. "Slip it? Slip what?" She turned to me questioningly. "Were you suppose to slip something, Kenshin…?"

Sano cackled loudly. "Oh, you know Jou-chan, when you and Kenshin were kis--"

"Kaoru-chan, Sano is just being silly," I said hastily, shooting Sano a deadly glare while I took her hand to distract her.

It didn't work as quickly as hoped.

"Well, Kenshin sort of fainted…he got a dizzy spell," Kaoru said thoughtfully. She turned to me again. "Is that what he meant by slip, Kenshin?"

O…Oro…how the heck am I going to explain this?

Sano sputtered in laughter. "You fainted? Again? Oh man! Jou-chan, what in hell's name did you do that got our nerves-of-steel hero here to pass out? Got a little too cozy on a first date, perhaps?"

Problem solved. That was enough to distract Kaoru permanently. However…

Kaoru turned red in the face from embarrassment. I turned red in the face for a completely different reason. That son-of-a…

__

"I didn't do anything!" Kaoru exclaimed. "It was some guy…anyway, I _don't _have to tell you! And what do you mean by 'again'? Kenshin, you should have told me you weren't feeling well today!"

"Maa…maa…" I said, raising my hands up in my patented Can't-We-All-Just-Get-Along way. "Kaoru, this unworthy one would have felt worse if he couldn't go out with you. It turned out for the best anyway, ne? I would not exchange this night for the world."

Kaoru blushed and grinned. "Definitely, Ken-chan," she said. "Are you really alright now, love?" She cooed, leaning her head on my shoulder affectionately.

Oh, isn't she just so sweet? My little sweetheart…Let me just kiss her…

"Ugh! You're killing me here! I can already see the ants crawling all over you!" Sano said, screwing up his face. "I think I _will_ let you walk home. I don't want to give the carriage back to the carriage- company with a pest problem."

Did he mean that as a joke? Because, it isn't funny. 

"Sanosuke, we'll talk tomorrow. Right now, Kaoru wants to walk home, if you please," I said evenly, managing to flash him a smile in spite of myself. "I thank you for everything. And I mean everything. This couldn't have been possible without you."

Sano waved a hand. "Yeah, yeah. Whatever, Kenshin. Are you sure you don't want to ride the rest of the way?" 

"We'll be fine, Sano," Kaoru replied. "Oh, and don't forget Tsu-san over here."

"Oh yeah. Almost did," Sano responded dryly, getting down from his perch and going to his friend. He lifted Tsunan partway on his shoulder. "Upsy-daisy. You're gonna be all right, pal. Sanosuke's here to help."

Tsunan groaned, as if in response. 

Couldn't blame him. TLC and Sano don't exactly mesh. 

Sano rolled the unconscious Tsunan into the coach, getting the upper half of Tsunan's body on the compartment floor, then quite carelessly Sano folded Tsunan's legs up, stuffing him inside as rooster-head slammed the door shut. 

The second groan that ensued from the poor invalid was lost on Sano's, "There. That ought to do it."

That did it all right…if Sano was hoping to kill his friend. 

Kaoru and I could only stare speechlessly.

"Well, I guess it's time I make like a tree and shed," Sano said with a salute to us both.

"Er…" Kaoru began.

I squeezed her hand gently and signaled for her to let it pass. Leaves and shedding were relevant anyway in this season of fall, for whatever _that's_ worth. 

Kaoru clamped her mouth shut. 

Sano got back up on the driver's seat and took the reigns. With a loud yell, he gave the horses a proper panic and went careening into the night.

"Kenshin, do you think they'll be okay?" Kaoru asked, watching as the cloud of dust dissipated. 

"Don't worry about them, sweety," I replied, idly pushing some hair from her forehead. It wasn't unsightly. I just wanted to fuss over her. 

I was rewarded by the warmth of her smile. "Kenshin, in spite of all the mishaps, this has been a wonderful night, ne?"

"Yes. The most wonderful," I replied. If there weren't so many people on the road, I would have pulled her into my arms and made known to her my sentiments more clearly. But since the idiot-rurouni knew propriety even if Battousai didn't (he's already whispering mischief), I contented myself with securing her hand in the crook of my arm. I saw a western couple walking like this once. Although I'm not really one to conform to western practices, I think I'm inclined to see how pleasant this particular practice is. 

"And mou! Those tickets! Tell me the truth, Kenshin. Where did you buy them?" She asked me with an affectionate grin. 

Women and their intuition. 

I didn't have to fear her reproach or disdain though. "I lost the ones of which I am certain were perfectly legitimate and I had to tell Sano to buy new ones. I think they were really scalped."

Kaoru laughed and slapped my shoulder playfully. "Shame on you, rurouni! Poor Hiro-san! But who am I to complain, ne? I'm sure it was all Sano's doing, however. That man's got a rap sheet worthy of Saitoh's Sin-Swift-Slay. Three cheers for the resident delinquent!"

I couldn't agree more. "I never thought Sano's bad habits could be so convenient," I said with a chuckle.

Kaoru nodded and then kissed my cheek, to my utter delight. She gave a contented sigh and smiled at me. "Let's go home, Kenshin. After tonight, you deserve a good night's rest."

I smiled back, placing my hand over the one she had on my arm. "Yes. Tomorrow's going to be a new day to look forward to, love." Isn't it funny, that after all that fuss, it comes down to the fact that it doesn't take a mind reader to finally find true happiness? If I had just opened my eyes a bit wider, I would have known the Kamiya Kaoru that was the center and strength of our odd family.

We walked, enjoying the cool breeze of autumn. There was something to be said about making like a tree and "shedding" as Sano had so eloquently put. It made way for winter, and then a new spring more beautiful than the one before it. 

Although the leaves had all but fallen to the ground, my spring has already arrived in the most precious package walking beside me…

Package…why is it nagging…?

Oro! I've completely forgotten about it!

To be continued…

Author's Note: Yep, it ain't over yet. There will be a bit more in the next one I'll post, but only to wrap things up. I'm sure you're asking…what's going to happen to that yard of cloth Kenshin bought? You'll see. 


	9. Part 20 and 21

GOMEN FOR THE DOUBLE, TRIPLE QUADRUPLE POSTS!!!!! My PC kinda went ga-ga-goo-goo.

Author's Note: Ookay! Final stretch. Too bad. I was enjoying myself. This has been so much fun…hrmmm, as usual, I'm getting depressed because I'm ending a fic…well, maybe it's really about time I concentrated on some other story I've scandalously neglected.

Maybe I'll take a little break from humor for the next one…I'm thinkin'…lemon…sequel to "The Fires of Amber". Perhaps…"The Flames of Ice"? Getting ideas on what it's going to be about?

Ohohohoho! Terrible what I'm doing! Oh well, this segment is going to wrap things up. Also, I'm thinking of doing a spin-off from this. "Heart of the Woman" It's underway and you'll never guess who'll be in it! 

Anyway, I've babbled enough. 

Standard disclaimers apply. Watsuki-sama, I'll never be able to get RK from you…I give up. I'm not worthy…I'm not worthy…

****

Mind of the Woman

Part XX: A Little Bit of Happiness

I've never been this happy since…since I don't know how long ago. For the first time in my life, I found something more therapeutic than laundry.

Of course, it would be a gross understatement saying that my new-and-improved attentions to Kaoru were anything like water and detergent, but everyone seemed to have noticed the day following our date that I was reluctant to get to the laundry pile because I wanted to be with her. So I guess the absurd comparison would have to do for starters. 

Wouldn't say it out loud for anything, though. Kaoru will kill me.

One thing's for sure. It got Misao to shut-up.

Ye gods! Stop the presses! Call out the marines! 

Hear ye, hear ye! Misao Gone Quiet! Not Laryngitis!

Oh, I'm just kidding. I'm not so insensitive as not to detect the look of longing and the tiny bit of envy in her eyes. It's enough to get me to kick Aoshi's ass, just to return the favor.

But that could come later. Right now, I'm going to get back that yard of cloth I left in the carriage last night. I was hoping Sano could bring me to the carriage-company, but then of course, he didn't show up this morning. That leaves me with Aoshi. 

That's quite all right. Maybe I can talk some sense into him on the way. 

I approached him where he stood watching Yahiko and Kaoru stoically in the dojo.

"Shinomori-san, this unworthy one has a request," I said, looking up at him by craning my neck a bit. It was one of the downsides to being small.

"What can I do for you, Battousai?" He asked, not removing his eyes from the training session.

"I need you to direct me to the carriage-company. I have lost something and it might still be in the coach we commissioned last night," I explained. 

Aoshi turned his gaze at me then raised an eyebrow. "Sounds valuable. Legal?"

I frowned a bit. "Of course it is legal. This unworthy one has never had anything to do with anything illegal in his entire life." I suddenly remembered the scalped tickets last night, but there was no need to mention that right now.

Kaoru coughed unnaturally, confirming that we were thinking the same thing.

Aoshi looked momentarily at Kaoru then back at me. He nodded. "Sure, Battousai. I'll even accompany you, seeing as the rooster-head is nowhere in sight."

I was hoping he'd offer to accompany me. "Arigato, Shinomori-san. Would it be convenient for you to go now, or perhaps later?"

"Now is as good a time as any," he replied.

"Very well," I responded.

Kaoru turned to me upon hearing our agreement. "Will you be back for lunch, Kenshin?"

"Of course, Kaoru," I replied, smiling at her tenderly. "We'll be back as soon as we can."

She nodded, satisfied. She turned back to Yahiko and said, "Alright. Don't be long then, love."

"Of course," I kind of chimed back.

Aoshi shook his head in disdain. "Sit, Battousai. Now roll over and play dead," he said in a barely audible voice. 

Very funny. I admit to being at the end of the proverbial leash, but Kaoru does it so pleasantly that it doesn't bother me at all. Besides, if it involves anything along the lines of scratching my tummy, I'm all for it. Oro!

"Shinomori-san, it's not so bad. Women like Kaoru have a flair for it," I said to him calmly. "It feels quite nice."

"Sure Himura Battousai. Whatever you say."

If he doesn't believe me, that's totally fine. It's his loss.

However…"Misao-dono has been quiet this morning," I put in casually. "Is she ill?"

"I don't think so," he responded, looking straight ahead as we descended the steps.

I withheld my sigh. This is going to be a long walk.

My efforts to get anything out of Aoshi with regards to Misao were futile. He'd either say something that would put an absolute stop to the train of conversation, or he'd change the subject completely. 

I don't know why he was so allergic with the topic anyway. 

Maybe all of us are wrong. Maybe he doesn't love Misao the way we thought he did. 

I tried another tack in my desperate attempts to nose in on their business. "Shinomori-san, do you realize that the tension between you and Misao-dono is causing a racket in the scope of my spiritual sphere?" Spoken like a true Shinomorist. 

Aoshi gave me a stern look. "I'd rather you not turn the tables, Battousai. You don't even meditate."

Changing the subject again. "Meditation has nothing to do with it. Do you know why Misao-dono talks all the time? To get your attention."

"I pay attention to her," Aoshi said in his neutral voice.

I raised an eyebrow. With attention like that, who needs to be ignored?

"Right. Whatever you say," I responded. I think that was ample enough indication that I considered what he said pure bull. No need to say it directly. 

He fidgeted uncomfortably.

Ohoho! I've made the impenetrable Shinomori Aoshi fidget! My, isn't this a stellar month for miracles? First I get a look-see into Kaoru's mind. Then Sano gets a job, which enabled him to finance my date with Kaoru. That's double the miracles in one, considering Sano wouldn't normally spring money if it didn't involve dice and I managed to get the balls to ask Kaoru out three days ago after two long years. Also, I got to admit my feelings to her. Now Shinomori Aoshi is _squirming_? I have accomplished a feat of biblical proportions. Next thing you know, Kaoru will be cooking dishes worthy of the emperor and Saitoh would come up to me and say, "Kenshin buddy! Let's just let bygones be bygones. That Ishinshishi-Shinsen-gumi crap…that was _so_ last season."

No wonder everyone tries to nose in on everyone. I didn't realize it was such fun!

"Shinomori-san, do you or do you not love Misao-dono?" I asked. Might as well go in for the kill.

"There's the carriage-company, Battousai," Aoshi said, pointing to a small structure.

I'm on a roll. He couldn't possibly spoil the momentum. "Oh real smooth. Answer the question, Shinomori-san."

Aoshi began to look extremely annoyed. I don't care. I'm in the mood for fluff. Kaoru still has me in cloud nine. 

"Battousai, what I feel for Misao is my business," he snapped.

"True. But if I stayed out of other people's business, I wouldn't have been called Battousai and Shishio would be running Japan." I pointed out. 

Hi eyebrows knotted. "Well, I hardly think this is that kind of National Emergency. Besides, what are you going to do about it?"

I gave a shrug. "Oh, I don't know. It's not so much what _I_ would do about it. It's more of what _you_ would do about it after having answered my question out loud."

Isn't it funny how suddenly I'm the expert? I was so love-dumb the other day, now I'm "Dear Kenshin, I have this problem with this girl…"

Aoshi became ponderous again.

I finally decided to leave him alone for the moment. I think I've thoroughly driven the point home.

The attendant of the rental shop approached us upon our arrival and I stated my cause. I was relieved when he told me that they _had_ found the package in the carriage that was brought back last night. Apparently, narrated the attendant, the man inside had removed the wrappings and used it to cover himself against the cold of autumn. 

Gee, thanks Tsunan…you uncouth moron. 

The attendant also mentioned that he was glad the mouse living in the carriage didn't bother us. I bit my tongue against any sordid retort. That mouse had after all been instrumental in my romantic advancement, even if it did bring me to hell and back.

Taking infinite care to fold the beautiful cloth well enough to bring it home without damaging it, I told Aoshi we should be heading off, so I can give it to Kaoru.

I can't wait to see the look on her face when I give it. Oh, the kisses I'm going to get, the smothering…ah, definitely a brilliant move on my part to have bought it for her. 

I didn't ask Aoshi about his love life again. I think I've tried to interfere enough.

We walked home discussing how everyone in Kyoto was doing as per the last letter from Okina. 

Then just when the Kamiya Dojo came into view, another miracle occurred. I call it a miracle because…well, all will be explained in a minute.

It began to snow. Flakes of ice drifting down from the sky. 

"Oro! My laundry!" I cried, the charm of the moment completely lost to me at the fear that my clean clothes would be reduced to sheets of ice. 

Shoving the silken cloth into Aoshi's hands, I rushed to the dojo intending to take everything down and transfer it to a spot where the snow wouldn't reach it.

Hurrying through the gates, I saw Kaoru and Misao already taking down the poles.

A smile of relief spread across my face. Offering them my thanks, I began to help them. 

Laden with damp laundry, we were about to make the transfer when Aoshi walked through the entrance. I saw him reach into his jacket and pull out the cloth.

I was about to tell him to wait until I finished my task when Misao let out a delighted shriek.

"Oh, Aoshi-sama! Is that for me? It's beautiful!" She cried, dumping her load into my arms.

I promptly fell on my butt, robbing me of the ability to make my protests. 

Misao rushed to Aoshi and quite gracefully took the fabric from him, holding it up for all to see.

She looked at Aoshi with grateful eyes. "Aoshi-sama…it's so pretty and…feminine. How did you know I would like this?" She asked, a delicate note in her voice. It didn't sound like her usual raving. 

Aoshi blinked, speechless. He hadn't the faintest idea what to say. 

Well, I had plenty to say. "Misao-dono, it's--oro!"

It had been Kaoru's foot, nudging me to shut up. She dumped _her_ load on me and stepped forward. 

"Well," Kaoru began with a warm smile. "It's quite natural that Shinomori-san would know what you like, Misao-chan. It's beautiful. Come on. Let's see what we can make out of that. A kimono, I think, would be best."

Misao nodded eagerly and flashed Aoshi the most disarming smile I had ever seen (next to Kaoru's, of course). "Arigato, Aoshi-sama. It's…nice to think that you consider me ladylike enough to be worthy of this…"

Aoshi looked at her, tenderness crossing his eyes. Whatever it was he felt for Misao, this moment had marked it. He then cleared his throat and he gained back some of his composure. "You're welcome, Misao. I think you would look wonderful in it."

Misao blushed shyly then darted towards Kaoru, already talking about the details of their sewing endeavor. 

Kaoru then bent down and kissed my forehead. "It's found its true purpose, I think," she whispered, giving me a knowing smile.

I smiled back. What she said made everything better. 

Kaoru…you are an angel. 

I recalled my conversation in the market with her when she first spotted the fabric. 

__

"…. Some girl out there probably has every reason to shop for a new fabric, and this will probably fit her just as well if not better. I think I'll leave it for her, whoever she is…." Kaoru had said, and behind it, the hope that something good would come out of it. 

Kaoru and I…we had no real use for it anymore. We are happy the way we are. It _did_ find its true purpose. And that, to Kaoru, makes her even happier. 

"Battousai," Aoshi said to me as he helped me with my cargo. "I will pay you for the cost of that fabric."

__

Maa…maa…You don't have to pay for it.

What am I? Nuts? As Sano said, I don't have a money tree. I don't even have a money bush!

However, he _did _help in arranging my date with Kaoru. I think that's payment enough. "We'll settle that later, de gozaru yo," I said in the most magnanimous tone I could muster. 

Helping me up, he gave a humble bow. "I thank you, for letting Misao keep it. I don't think…I could have handled the disappointed look on her face if you had said it wasn't for her."

I smiled. "Well, in a way, it was for her all along. Kaoru knows that too. I think, Shinomori-san, that fate has been very kind to us. All your meditation is finally paying off."

"Yes. You are right, Battousai," Aoshi replied with a nod. "Fate is kind after all."

Part XXI: Life Is Good To _Sessha_ (Five Years Later)

It's been what, five years? Doesn't seem very long. Time indeed flies when you're having fun. 

Fun. That's such an understatement. I am deliriously, absolutely out of the cuckoo's nest, stark raving happy. 

I have been married to Kaoru, the woman who is the center of my universe and has given me two wonderful children who, by the way, shares the center of my universe with their mother, for the same amount of time. It did not take long for me to decide after Kaoru and I had admitted our feelings to each other that we should be joined in matrimony. 

The proposal…well, that's an entirely different story.

Kenji, our son, is now a three-year old terror, at least, as far as Yahiko describes him. He displays excellent sword skill even at such a young age, if his perfect swing the other day at Tsunan's family jewels was any indication. When Tsunan crumpled to the ground in a boneless heap, I remember thinking _Ah, Kaoru my love, you've taught the boy well._ Come to think of it, I don't remember anybody scolding him for it.

Kiriko just turned one. She is the most adorable baby in the world. She can barely utter a coherent word, yet already she has me in the palm of her hand. She has mommy wrapped around her little finger and I don't mind a bit. My little girl will be spoiled to the high heavens, courtesy of the idiot-ex-rurouni.

Sano and Megumi are still fighting it out, trying to outdo each other extemporaneously. He has proposed to her three times already, and they always ended up fighting, but since Megumi hasn't exactly turned him down…

__

"Yo fox-lady," Sano had said in the middle of dinner with my family. _"You and I, we should get married."_

The fox-lady bristled, totally pissed at the time and place he had chosen to pop the "question". _"Rooster-head, you are the most unromantic son of a bitch I have ever had to put up with."_

At that point, I had to cover Kenji's ears and Kaoru hugged Kiriko to herself protectively. If there was going to be a brawl, two-month-old Kiriko can't exactly defend herself. Yahiko grinned, eating and watching with delighted anticipation.

__

"Unromantic? What the hell are you talking about? Why the fuck should it matter where I propose? Besides, I'm asking you in front of the people that matter most to us…"

"Oh, don't you dare try to make this fluffy and nice! You boorish, good for nothing…"

Sano had frowned. _"What, so is that a 'no'?"_

"No!"

"Then is that a 'yes'?"

"No!"

"Dammit, woman! Why can't you just speak in plain Japanese? You always have to be high and mighty…"

Megumi then had the gumption to throw an empty rice bowl exactly where Sano's eyes and nose intersected. 

That was the first proposal. I shudder at the thought of Sano's second and third. All I know is, on the last two occasions he barely got away with his life. 

They may never get married, but then, who knows?

Right now, Kenji had just jumped Yahiko who was heading out of the gate.

"Daaaddy" Kenji whined, clawing at sixteen-year-old Yahiko's back. "Uncle Yahiko's going to the Akebeko and he don't want Kenji with him!"

"G-Get off me, you brat!" Yahiko yelled, spinning in his pursuit to remove my darling son from him. 

Kaoru merely smiled. She just loved it when Kenji plagued the life out of Yahiko. To her mind, all his _"busu-ing"_ and "ugly-ing" earned him as much. Primly, she took Kiriko in a playful embrace and tickled her, finding more delight in her baby giggles. 

Kenji has now taken to clutching at Yahiko's hair. Yahiko yelled more protests of the indignity.

"Maa…maa…come here, little-dragon," I said, patting my lap. "Yahiko-kun has to visit his girlfriend. And with you around, he couldn't be pretty."

"Hey!" Yahiko cried angrily.

I smiled as Kenji promptly dislodged himself and scampered to me. The Dragon name always convinced him. My conceited little son already has an ego worthy of Hiko. Kenji, of course, had to stick his tongue out at Yahiko before sitting himself comfortably in my arms. 

He turned to his mother with the cutest smile. "Mommy, did I do well, _de gozary ka_?" Kenji asked, lowering his voice to imitate mine when he got to the _"de gozaru"._

"Oh, you have pleased mommy immensely," Kaoru said, pinching his nose.

"Right! Train the little terror!" Yahiko yelled over his shoulder as he made his escape.

I smirked, taking my turn to pinch Kaoru's nose as well. "Maa…don't encourage him, love."

Kaoru wrinkled her nose. "You spoil Kiriko and I spoil Kenji. I thought we agreed that's a fair deal."

I laughed. Fair indeed.

Kenji crawled over to his sister and started talking to her like the doting brother he is. 

I took this opportunity to give Kaoru a tender kiss on the lips. No complaints from the children. That will come when they get a little older. 

"I got a letter from Misao today," Kaoru told me, nuzzling my chin with her lips. 

"And what did she have to say?" I asked, barely caring. The intimacy was already giving me pleasant visions in my head. Maybe we can work on our third baby…

"Aoshi has proposed and she has accepted," she replied.

That was enough to check my thirty-five year old hormones. "Oro!"

"It's about time, really," Kaoru said. "I thought it would happen sooner. When Misao walked into the room wearing that kimono we made for her from the fabric he 'gave her', did you see the look on his face? That was a turning point. But that okashira-idiot had to wait five long years…he's slower than _you_ were!"

"Maa…let's not go into that…" I chuckled. "Anyway, I think Aoshi just had to let her grow up a bit more. She was way too young then…"

"Maa…let's not go into that…" She grinned, flinging the words right back at me. 

Aren't we just perfect together?

"Love," she continued, a strange note to her voice. "When we go to Kyoto for their wedding, I think you have your own business to take care of."

She didn't have to explain what that meant. Over the years I've been married to Kaoru, I've come to an even deeper understanding of her. It was things like this that made her the woman I love. Everyday, she manages to shed a bit more light into my darkness. It's almost totally gone, yet she has also shown me that Battousai isn't all that bad, that he isn't necessarily part of my darkness. I think she even likes Battousai to an extent, especially when…ahem, a little kink is involved. Oro!

I have been thinking of visiting Tomoe's grave since I married Kaoru. Tomoe deserves as much. I didn't thank her for the gift when last I talked to her. I was too busy being a brat and fighting to preserve the usury of it. It's time I let her know how happy I am.

Maybe she already knows, but after all this time, Tomoe and I, we need some closure.

There are many things I learned when I got a glimpse of Kaoru's mind. Enduring is one of them, deserving happiness is another. And even now, when sometimes I couldn't make out exactly what she is thinking, her heart and mine tells me what to do.

It's not "all in the mind" as people always say. The soul speaks just as eloquently, if not as plainly. 

Kaoru will always be complex, the ex-rurouni and Battousai in me will not have her any other way, but the simplicity of loving her makes me realize that nothing in this world is beyond understanding. 

The mind of Kaoru…it was the path. Her heart was my real destination, and I have arrived. 

****

END

Author's Final Note: Too…much…WAFF…need…drama…for…balance…GURK! Well, that's done. Hope you liked it. Frankly, while I was doing this fic, I hadn't the faintest idea how I would go about it. I just winged it. I think I'll never do that again. It's too damn risky! 

I'll be back, though. You know me. Couldn't shut up. Yep, that's my motto. A very Misao-like motto. A genki just like her. 

I'll be seeing ya'll again. Thanks so much for the support. Thanks for giving anna-baka the time of day! 

Ja, mata ato de!

****

Glossary of Japanese terms:

Amakakeru ryu No Hirameki - Don't know the exact meaning, but this is Kenshin's ultimate move. Something akin to a "Nine Headed Dragon Strike" Baka - Idiot. Bakumatsu - A revolutionary period in Japan, known as the "Boshin Civil War" The struggle between the Tokugawans and the Meiji. Battousai - Unsheathed sword Bokken - Wooden Sword Budo - Sword work/skill/technique Busu - Hag De gozaru ka/yo - This is how Kenshin marks a sentence as formal and respectful. It's particular to samurai/ninja, and most especially Kenshin's. He uses this ALL THE TIME! No exaggeration. As in, every sentence. Dojo - Training hall. Furo - Tub Futae no kiwami and Ryou Sou Sen - "Futae no Kiwami" is Sano's ultimate move while "Ryou Sou Sen" is one of Kenshin's. Gi - Samurai shirt-top. It looks like a robe. Hakama - Samurai pants. Hime-chan - Young princess Hiten Mitsurugi Ryu - Flying sword to heaven philosophy. Kenshin's sword technique. Hitokiri - Manslayer/Assassin Ishinshishi - Kenshin's Bakumatsu faction. They were for the Meiji. Jou-chan - Young missy, as used by Sano. Juppon Katana - Something like Ten Swords. (Thanks to Shiari for shedding some light! ^_^) Katana - Long sword. Kenjetsu - Martial Arts Ki - Chi. Life-force. Aura. Kokoro no Miko - Maiden of the Heart. Maa… - Roughly, "Settle down now…" Maki - It's a roll of Japanese rice wrapped in flattened seaweed and stuffed with any filling (raw fish, lobster, crab, etc.) Mou - Kaoru's exclamation of mild exasperation. Ne? - Right? Okashira - Leader of the Oniwabanshu. Oro - Kenshin's exclamation of surprise/wonder/clueless-ness/shock Rakuninmura - Place where those who have given up on life go. Rurouni - Wanderer, as invented by Watsuki-sama Sakabatou - Reversed edge sword. Sakura - Cherry Blossom. Native to Japan. Sekihoutai - Sano's group of citizens who took arms during the Boshin Civil War. Some call it a gang. Sessha - This unworthy one. Shinai - Bamboo sword. Shinsen-gumi - Saitoh Hajime's faction during the Bakumatsu. They were for the Tokugawans. Arch rival of the Ishinshishi. Sumo - Japanese Wrestling Tanuki-chan - Racoon-girl Wakazashi - Short sword Yakuza - Organized crime gang Yukata - Robe 


End file.
